Transitioning

Well I'm 23, have been transitioning for 2 years now. I have always felt different and was even bullied on simply because I was different.
I remember being younger and I'd wear my wear my moms clothes and on Halloween they'd actually let me dress and go out. But as the years went on I felt more and more trapped. And then when I was 17 my mom passed away and then things got terrible with my dad. So I moved out and became homeless for 6 months, and after I got my job and apartment, I started seeing a therapist for hrt. And then I'm now headed for the procedures.
I meet the prerequisites to have the procedures, but I simply can not afford them. I am so ready to be the woman I am on the inside but I simply can't. I don't want to be seen as a male in woman's clothing, I want to be seen as a woman in my clothes. And they are exceedingly expensive. I've destroyed my credit applying for loans, and I don't know what else to try.I hate being this, I hate everything about being me. I feel trapped, lost. I feel like I'm suffocating and there's no room to breathe. Thank you for your time for reading this.