Help Eliza Move Out

This is super hard of me to ask. People that know me know I don’t like asking for help but I feel like this is my best option for my mental health. I’ve been working since I was 15. I joined the army at 18. Everything I’ve ever done pertaining work related, it’s always been so I can provide for myself. I live with my mom and younger brother. My mom has always been extremely mentally and physically abusive but growing up I always made excuses for her. “My dad left her, she had a hard upbringing, she’s had miscarriages”. Anything to take away from her ways. As I got older she’ll make me share an icloud with her, she’ll belittle me calling me names such as slut or useless and will constantly tell me to die. When I told her I was bi-curious she threw a bible at me and physically attacked me. She made me transfer high schools to a different city because she believed I was getting influenced. I started letting her and her name calling get to me and eventually became suicidal. Once she found out she told me “ you should’ve cut yourself deeper”. I always stayed at home because I had no where else to go and truly believed she could change. We even tried therapy but she just kept calling me crazy. At 18 I went away for college where she stopped talking to me for 7 months because “ I thought I was grown” all because she wanted me in New York by 7 in the morning and I ended up waking up late. I was basically using my college dorm’s address for EVERYTHING because I had no where else to go. Eventually I decided to join the army. A month before I was going to basic training my aunt told me my mom wanted to get in contact with me. I thought wow she finally changed and decided to give our relationship another try. While I was in basic training she would write me letters and even came to my graduation. We were fine but on October 7th, 2019 I went through the worst day of my life and eventually asked to go home. When I was told I was going to be able to come back to New York I told her. She said she changed and I believed her. Once I got home she started letting me go out more and eventually Covid happen. It was the worst thing ever. She would get mad at anything and take it out on me. Eventually she found out about what happened to me because of a family member I had told. When I told her the whole story she blamed it on me and even said I deserved it. I went to a friends house for 3 days until she said she was going to call the police on me. She later found out about the antidepressants I was put on while I was still going to therapy in the army and she told me that I didn’t need them because I was only going to get crazier. In June I started working and since then I’ve given my mother roughly about $6,000. I pay her $125 every week as well as helping her with her car payments, car insurance, clothes and other little things yet my 17 year old brother just stays at home on his playstation. I am tired of acting like I am okay and always helping her with stuff while she tells people that I never do anything as well as not making my brother get a job. I’m paying for my tuition and still having to pay bills that are mine and hers. Since I’ve been back I’ve had mental breakdowns and moments where I didn’t want to be alive anymore because of the way she treats me. She calls me crazy for any little thing such as even wanting to go back to therapy. I want to move away from her and just be able to say that I’m happy. If you are able to donate, anything helps and thank you so much for taking your time to read this.