Daphne’s Life Fight

Hello all, and thanks for taking the time to read this. It’s hard to know how to start when writing something like this, mostly it is the initial putting it out there that’s so difficult because once I say it out loud (or write it) it is real and I don’t want this to be real… The truth is I wanted to write this several weeks ago but it has been too difficult to do. It is much easier to keep trying to put it out of my mind, wear a “Daphne’s Fight” bracelet and assume (hope) all is going well with her, but that isn’t an option for me so instead here I am now, and I am asking for your help… My name is Wendi and Daphne Patterson Henderling is my sister. Daphne was diagnosed with cancer in late September of last year (2019). Yes, that big “C” word you hope is never said to you about you or someone you love but it happened. After finding out, Daphne and Brian (her husband) discussed several treatment options and determined the best course of action for her would be Chemotherapy and Radiation. She began those treatments several weeks ago and has been doing radiation 5 days a week and will be for several more weeks at least. She’s also doing Chemotherapy and is attending several other appointments as well, often resulting in two appointments a day. As you could imagine it has been a hell of a battle for her since. If you know Daphne in real life you know that she has been fighting for her health far longer than those few weeks. The diagnosis of cancer came to her in September but the cancer had been taking a toll on her health long before she discovered it was the “C” word. She has been fighting a very long time. She happens to be very good at fighting, particularly for things that matter to her which is helpful and inspiring to me as someone who loves her very much. The thing is, fighting takes a lot out of a person. And now that she is going through radiation on top of having been ill, she has the fight of a lifetime cut out for her, literally, as this time she IS actually fighting for her life. No single person (or couple) can fight cancer alone, and luckily, she has Brian by her side for every step of this journey as well as a whole lot of people who love them both dearly. As you could imagine Brian, being her main support person, has to fight in this as well and he can’t do it alone either. What they need to help them fight is a support system made up of people who have their backs and continue to show up for them. This is what they need from that system to keep them in the best spirits to kick this cancer and begin the new chapter of their lives… First, they need emotional support. That means its ok to reach out and say “I’m thinking about you” or “I am here for you” or “you are not alone in this” or “You are strong and brave and amazing, even when you don’t feel it” (which is all true), and lots of other positive things to say and do that let them know they are thought of, loved, and have people rooting for them. Another great way to show support is to pray for them and let them know you are doing so. Or don’t let them know but please pray for them anyways. Send them love and light and all good healing things, there can’t be enough people to do that, so please be one of them and do it as often as you can. A third thing I’m asking you to do is to help with support financially. A lot of people have no idea what actually takes place when someone is going through cancer treatment, but it takes a tremendous toll not just physically and emotionally but also financially. Part of that is treatment costs, other things include certain lifestyle changes they are required to make, some things they may want/need to purchase to help make Daphne more comfortable as she goes through treatments, etc. When looking at donating money people often think they don’t have money to spare as they feel a $1 or $5 donation isn’t enough of a contribution to make a difference, when the truth is if every person who knows Daphne, or Brian, or me, donated just $1 AND shared this on social media, like Facebook, it would add up to a lot of people, and thus a lot of dollars! Imagine if you shared this with your friends and each one of them donated just $1, then they shared it and all their friends donated $1 or $5, it would really add up. A small donation is also great because it encourages more people to do the same and a lot of people can afford to give just $5. If you are able to donate more of course that is great and we need those too, but no donation is too small, and every dollar you donate really does matter. One of my biggest wishes for my sister as she progresses through treatment is that she will be able to focus fully on getting better and not use any energy stressing about money. That she won’t need to be concerned about how she is going to pay for life saving medical treatments, as it is not all covered by insurance and they have already been hit with some major medical bills. I want her and Brian to be able to use one hundred percent of their energy on her getting well again and in order to allow them this I need your help. PLEASE donate if you are able. If you feel as though you are not financially able please consider if you can spare just $1. It will encourage others to do the same and you will be making a difference. Most of us have experienced financial stress at some point in our lives so we know the toll it can take. Please help to free her of that financial worry and keep her focused on the main thing. ... A little bit I’ve noticed about Daphne… Throughout her life I have observed her donating to help others in need of support even in times when she didn’t have much to give. I recall her and Brian cooking two entire thanksgiving meals on Thanksgiving Day so they could deliver one to a family who was struggling and wouldn’t otherwise have a holiday meal at all. Daphne consistently donates to St. Judes Children’s Hospital among other foundations dedicated to helping those in need. She personally has extended her home to others in an effort to help them through a difficult season of life and she has done that on more than one occasion. In just the past 12 months I have been stumbling through my own financial struggles on the tail end of my son’s life-threatening conditions and even though she was struggling herself she offered her support in multiple ways to help me get through the difficult time. She always made a point to check in on me, to make sure I knew I wasn’t alone, and to remind me that I would get through this because I am a fighter too. She was right, and I want her to know that same support. We fighters need helpers too. Please help me, to help her make this as stress free of a fight as possible. Please share this over and over and over again. You never know what new eyes may see it and be able to offer some type of significant assistance. And thank you all so very much for your help! One single person’s support really does make a difference. And that one person can be you. Sincerely and with much love, A Sister and a Friend