I Shot Myself In The Head And Survived

I don't know why I survived but i will spend everyday proving to God and everyone else that I deserve this life and that i want it. My name is Cecilia Tapia. The photo you see is my family. Before May 2019. In May 2019 i was home alone for the night. This is the night my heart was taken. Two men broke in my home. They beat me, drugged me and Raped me. I was always depressed I'll admit that. But on this night they stole my heart. I started to become more and more detached from life. I couldn't even step a foot in that house so because we werent there we didn't pay the rent. We eventually decided to move to Salem. We didn't have the money for a place so my boyfriends mom helped us get an RV. I chose Salem Oregon because of the flowers. I felt like I could be healthy and happy because it was so beautiful. I didn't know that Salem Oregon has a problem with RV living. Everywhere we went they kicked us out. I began to feel like I didn't belong anywhere. On November 8, 2019. I’d had enough. I had finally lost faith in people. I finally lost faith that anyone would care or help my family. Early in the morning on the 8th of November I had a gun to my head. As soon as i pulled the trigger i knew i had made the biggest mistake of my life. But it was too late. I was bleeding out and i needed a Doctor. When i woke up in ICU I was still angry with people. I didn't want to die and I was grateful to have survived so far, but I wondered why I was saved. But my family was there. People were calling me that I had not spoken to in years. People were coming to see me that I didn't even know. I thought my family was angry and they are, but for the first time in a long time I felt people caring for me. I felt the love of my fellow man. As time has passed, I have begun to feel happiness. Before my last surgery i prayed for God to give me my smile back so I can make others smile with it. I also prayed that he take away my sadness for reasons known and unknown (with women who i didnt know who come just to pray with me). I woke up from surgery in the best mood. My smile was back and for some reason I was happy. For the first time in as long as I could remember, I want to live and I am eager to do just that. Although i'm in the Hospital now with major trauma to my face and head, i'm the happiest ive been my entire life. I'm gonna live!!! I'm going to do it gratefully from this day forward. But im worried. I'm still homeless. Im supposed to go home soon. I am still healing yand i will be for years to come. I still have my RV. Vut we need help financially until i can get SSI. We need a place to park the RV. Luke an RV Park. I have to have 2 more surgeries and I'll have a feeding Tube For a year. I need a place to park close to portland Oregon so I can continue to get the help I need and heal.      Please help my family. We just need help until i can get SSI. I will need a lot of outpatient care and moving around may not help the healing process. We need help with funds for gas, food for my boyfriend (who I have been with for almost 11yrs) and an RV Park so we don't have to move around. Thank you for listening to my story. My daughter us in the care of my brother and his wife until i get better. Thank you.