Carr Fire My Home Burned Down
Hello Friends and wonderful people wanting to help those of us who
have lost our homes in the devastating Carr Fire in Redding CA.
Thank you in advance for your support. It means the world to me.
The home I lived in burned in West Redding, as the Fire jumped the
Sacramento River and quickly climbed the hill into our neighborhood.
My housemate and I are still searching for our beloved dog, as the fire moved so fast, we could not get into the neighborhood to rescue him.
My friends on Facebook have named him "Fur Baby"! I love that!
I am a renter, without insurance, without a cushion to fall back on. So
pretty much starting from scratch to rebuild my life. Any financial help you can lend will be a godsend for me.
I've been studying to build a new career as an online marketer,
but income is not coming in yet, and I'm just on a little social security
I'll give more updates as things start to settle. Friends have offered
places for me to stay short term. And this funding page will help me
position myself to be able to pay rent while I build my new income. And also I will be using the money to make some repairs on my auto, so that I can drive safely to the places people are offering me temporary
Thank you so much.
First signs of my writers voice sprouted through the ashes today. And this amazing photo I found, captures well the feeling of new growth emerging from the ashes.
Whispers from the Ashes
Identity goes up in smoke
Grief becomes immense
As so much of what has been precious to me
Gone so quickly
Radically ripped and stripped away
I see so many seeking, searching
So massively sensitive I am
As images of the fire
Field of Grace
Each trauma creates a new shift
Potential for greater depth
and in time
Striving to be authentic
Ever returning to the sensitivity
May it serve as an entry point
The Field of Grace
The Well of Grief
I hear the world wail
in its sorrows
So many sorrows
A word of caution
Be aware of tendency
to spiritually by-pass feelings
Jumping into the head
These are times ripe for connecting
Head with Heart
Head can inform
Heart will lead
Stay inwardly connected
Moment to moment
Be a safe place
and for others
From Shema's Album "After the Fire"
As the actuality sets in, 5 weeks since the #CarrFire destroyed the home I lived in, where our dog died, and 1000+ homes of neighbors burned also, the long term impacts from the trauma and grief are showing
I've decided to keep open my Crowd Funding page for a while longer.
It's challenging living in a culture so outer focused on the 'Doing', when one is deeply in need of healing, which requires 'Being' and very tuned into 'feelings'.
I'm committed to not suppress, not to spiritually by-pass, or in any other way, prevent my full healing and recovery from this deeply life changing event.
Stay safe everyone.
The fireman mentioned below, Jeremy Stoke, was in our Land Park neighborhood, helping residents quickly getting trapped in the fire, to get out - when the fire tornado took him. Sending so many deep prayers to his family and all the First Responders.
Photo: Fire Tornado Firefighter Death
This July 26, 2018 image from video released by Cal Fire shows a fire tornado over Lake Keswick Estates near Redding, Calif. In the history of California wildfires there has never been anything like it: A churning tornado filled with fire, the size of three football fields. An official report describes in chilling detail the intensity of the rare fire phenomenon and how quickly it took the life of Redding firefighter Jeremy Stoke, who was enveloped in seconds as he tried to evacuate residents on July 26. (Cal Fire via AP)
And here is link to my FB Album: After the Fire
I have made an album on my Facebook time for him.
In loving memory of our Love Puppy,
lost in the #CarrFire in Land Park Neighborhood, Redding, CA July 2018
His remains were found in the ashes of our home
August 22 2018
And he was buried in a loving ceremony.
It appears our home was quite near the center of the powerful fire tornado, that overtook our street and neighborhood with a fiery, powerful quickness, that firemen had never before witnessed.
I was out of town, and my housemate was coming home from work, and was not allowed entry into the neighborhood, so unable to get to the house and rescue Zuki. Trapped residents were in traffic jams trying to get away from the fire, and no one was allowed entry in.
It was more than 3 weeks before his body was uncovered in the rubble of ashes and metal.
Fur Baby was found in his favorite shady location where he would hang out on hot afternoons.
I am told he probably just went "to sleep" from being overcome with smoke inhalation. I so hope that is true and that he did not suffer, even for a moment.
Forever I will love you my dear Zuki <3
My deepest loving thanks to my FB family that has been praying for this cute guy and my beloved companion, and adopting his name as Fur Baby. Your thoughts, comments and prayers during this month of not knowing have been such a deep comfort for me, as grief has been constant during this time.
Forever grateful for all of you, and your comfort this month
Friends, How to truly express the depth of my gratitude to all of you? FB and beyond, all who have come together to support me, and the many Fire survivors, in so many ways, Financially, Emotionally, Prayers, Connection, Housing, all of it. Truly, I would be no way near the level of healing (and inner strength) I am at, without all the support - and I mean that sincerely, will all my heart.
Please know, that every outreach, no matter how small, has added to the "field" that has kept me moving forward, and building resilience.
I'm still finishing up in Redding, all the FEMA and related disaster resources to apply for and community healing to participate in. And then on to more gracious and generous housing brief stays, as I continue to "listen" as to where I am to next "land". <3 and what the next leg of this life journey will be.
My capacity to focus, and engage in normal everyday activities, are still deeply impacted - so I give the self tender loving care, as the healing and integrating the trauma, settles in -
It stills feels like I have been radically shifted on core levels, that have not even begun to reveal what the shift will be.
It's been a month since the fire tornado swept through Land Park and surrounding areas in Redding, and burnt to the ground many of our precious and dear homes, and where a very special and heroic fireman lost his life (more on that in the weeks to come).