I Need Surgery to Breathe, Guys.
Hey guys. I've been hit with chronic sinus infections for almost a year now, and any one who's been in a band with me can tell you they weren't exactly a rarity before that (sorry about all the cancelled practices). In fact, about ten years ago, I developed mastoiditis from so many infections, and along with developing severe tunnel vision, began blacking out with no warning.
We recently go new insurance with my husband's new job, so I went straight to the doctor. After a CT scan, I found out that I have a severely deviated septum, nearly closing off the left side of my sinuses. This explains the mindblowing sensation I get on the off chance that any air actually gets through. I wonder, "is that what it means to be HU-MAN?".
On the right, the turbinates (basically the walls of the sinuses) are inflamed to 4 times the normal size pretty much blocking off that side as well. The passage between my right ear and sinuses has been closed off and has filled with fluid and I've suffered pretty bad, but fortunately reversible, hearing loss. There is "playdoh like gunk" in my maxillofacial sinuses (right next to the top back teeth) and so I'm constantly feeling like my molars are going to fall out. To top it all off, the tissue is beginning to ossify around the inflamed turbinates, meaning that even if they decided to stop being inflamed, they wouldn't open up again because everything will have turned into bone. My doctor said he was surprised I could even breathe out of my nose...which to tell you the truth, not so much.
Beyond the other physcial factors - headaches, earaches, eye pressure (air comes out of my eyes sometimes!) toothaches, shortness of breath, dizziness, over all feeling of fatigue; which are all megabummers I assure you, the hearing loss (with constant ringing!) has possibly had the biggest impact to finally say "antibiotics ain't cutting it". It literally makes my head hurt to sing and somtimes even to talk. People keep getting irritated with me because I have to ask them to repeat themselves. For some reason voices seemed to get drowned out completely by any outside noise, I don't even like going out anywhere with any of my friends if I think it's going to be kind of loud. Sometimes it makes me feel really isolated and alone, and as a person who loves being around people so much, it primes the pump for some really great depression that I really enjoy.
It's also made it completely painful for me to sing. I can't sing, I can't write songs, I can't write songs, I feel like all of the things I love have been stolen from me.
Unfortunately, we have to pay just under $5,000 before our insurance fully kicks in. I owe around half of it by Tuesday before the surgery on Thursday. The doctor had an opening and I took it, the next chance would have been October, I couldn't wait any longer, this is really all too much for me to suffer through anymore. The rest we'll have to pay after. But you know what? If 200 people gave me $10 each by Tuesday it would be, as they say, a mitzvah.
So, how do you feel about helping a friend out?