Baroque Bassoon
Donation protected
Hi my name is Kate. Here is my story. Or a video of me telling it:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5DKWhuYR728&feature=youtu.be
I love playing the baroque bassoon. Ever since I was a young girl I dreamt of being a professional musician. I was so driven that I worked hard with all my heart. By the age of 30 I had succeeded and was working as a freelance musician in Australia and Europe.
When I was still very new in my career as a baroque and classical bassoonist in Amsterdam, it became very apparent to me that the psychological struggles I had experienced all my life were getting worse not better. After much scrutiny from a team of mental health workers in The Netherlands I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). This condition causes emotional disregulation, depression, anxiety, difficulty with personal relationships and a tendency to self harm or sabotage. The doctors informed me that this condition could not be treated.
I was completely overwhelmed and didn’t know what to do. On impulse I returned to Australia, sold my instruments and began working as a bus driver. This was because at the time I was angry with myself, I felt it was the punishment I deserved. This was self sabotage typical of those suffering BPD. Without my primary love, which is music, my condition became much worse. My bus driving career ended after a road traffic accident and I retrained as an English Language Teacher. Things were hard and in the absence of support or treatment, I found an escape in alcohol.
Thinking an altruistic job would feed me some self-esteem, I started work teaching asylum seekers in immigration detention on Christmas Island. This was short lived as I was sent off the Island suffering with Post Traumatic Stress. The company I worked for took good care of me financially due to the workplace injury, however in another act of self sabotage, I quit my job believing I didn’t deserve to be paid if I were not working.
Things still needed to get much worse for me before I arrived at my life epiphany. I was taken to Royal Perth Hospital by the police in an ambulance after making yet another attempt on my life. The months in the psychiatric hospital were exactly what I needed, yet a very dark time in my life. I will never forget the day during this hospitalisation, when I heard my self think, ‘suiciding isn’t working for me, from now on, I have no choice but to embrace life’. I’d worked hard in my life, but my greatest achievement has been to learn to love life and to love, accept and forgive myself.
Eighteen years since diagnosis, my condition is much improved. I have many years of continued sobriety thanks to a twelve-step program and I have recently completed three years of intensive Dialectic Behaviour Therapy. This therapy is based on mindfulness and has rewired my brain thanks to the phenomenon of neuroplasticity.
I have been teaching and performing baroque bassoon at the University of Western Australia since the beginning of this year. And I am grateful to have my bassoon career again after many years of illness. My crowd fund campaign, if successful will enable me to purchase an instrument of my own. Baroque bassoons rarely come on the market and I have recently been offered and instrument through a dealer in Amsterdam. I will be forever grateful to those who can support or share my campaign. I’d like to take this opportunity to publicly thank the doctors and friends who assisted in my recovery, it’s been a long bumpy and spiritually enlightening road. I also wish to be there to support anyone recovering from alcoholism or any mental health struggles not just Borderline Personality Disorder. I am available in person in Perth, Australia, by email or skype for anyone wanting information or support for anyone interested in or affected by my story.
Please feel free to contact me personally.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5DKWhuYR728&feature=youtu.be
I love playing the baroque bassoon. Ever since I was a young girl I dreamt of being a professional musician. I was so driven that I worked hard with all my heart. By the age of 30 I had succeeded and was working as a freelance musician in Australia and Europe.
When I was still very new in my career as a baroque and classical bassoonist in Amsterdam, it became very apparent to me that the psychological struggles I had experienced all my life were getting worse not better. After much scrutiny from a team of mental health workers in The Netherlands I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). This condition causes emotional disregulation, depression, anxiety, difficulty with personal relationships and a tendency to self harm or sabotage. The doctors informed me that this condition could not be treated.
I was completely overwhelmed and didn’t know what to do. On impulse I returned to Australia, sold my instruments and began working as a bus driver. This was because at the time I was angry with myself, I felt it was the punishment I deserved. This was self sabotage typical of those suffering BPD. Without my primary love, which is music, my condition became much worse. My bus driving career ended after a road traffic accident and I retrained as an English Language Teacher. Things were hard and in the absence of support or treatment, I found an escape in alcohol.
Thinking an altruistic job would feed me some self-esteem, I started work teaching asylum seekers in immigration detention on Christmas Island. This was short lived as I was sent off the Island suffering with Post Traumatic Stress. The company I worked for took good care of me financially due to the workplace injury, however in another act of self sabotage, I quit my job believing I didn’t deserve to be paid if I were not working.
Things still needed to get much worse for me before I arrived at my life epiphany. I was taken to Royal Perth Hospital by the police in an ambulance after making yet another attempt on my life. The months in the psychiatric hospital were exactly what I needed, yet a very dark time in my life. I will never forget the day during this hospitalisation, when I heard my self think, ‘suiciding isn’t working for me, from now on, I have no choice but to embrace life’. I’d worked hard in my life, but my greatest achievement has been to learn to love life and to love, accept and forgive myself.
Eighteen years since diagnosis, my condition is much improved. I have many years of continued sobriety thanks to a twelve-step program and I have recently completed three years of intensive Dialectic Behaviour Therapy. This therapy is based on mindfulness and has rewired my brain thanks to the phenomenon of neuroplasticity.
I have been teaching and performing baroque bassoon at the University of Western Australia since the beginning of this year. And I am grateful to have my bassoon career again after many years of illness. My crowd fund campaign, if successful will enable me to purchase an instrument of my own. Baroque bassoons rarely come on the market and I have recently been offered and instrument through a dealer in Amsterdam. I will be forever grateful to those who can support or share my campaign. I’d like to take this opportunity to publicly thank the doctors and friends who assisted in my recovery, it’s been a long bumpy and spiritually enlightening road. I also wish to be there to support anyone recovering from alcoholism or any mental health struggles not just Borderline Personality Disorder. I am available in person in Perth, Australia, by email or skype for anyone wanting information or support for anyone interested in or affected by my story.
Please feel free to contact me personally.
Organizer
Kate Walpole
Organizer
Maylands WA
