Rescue the BH

I have a new story-  let me tell you about a cat.  This isn't just any cat, mind you, this is a cat that somehow has went against all odds and laws of Darwinism for me to be able to tell you that he is still here today.  A miracle boy of sorts, an unlikely team mate in an austere environment.

   He's a horrible cat, actually.  Not horrible as in badly behaved, he is quite the opposite.  He is horrible in the respect that he just really sucks at being a cat.   I think in a past life he was one of those 3 toed sloths or something, some creature that just casually breezed through life with no natural predators and the sun always shined on him.     His cattery skills are challenged, to say the least.   All of the other cats beat him up, even the girls, and the dogs want to eat him pretty badly.  This was what caught my attention about him, the fact that he was clearly not cut out for survival in this place.

    He lives in Kabul, Afghanistan.  There have been 11 bombings in the last 6 months alone, it seems like bad luck is around every corner and death just hangs in the air like humidity during a Cincinnati summer.    Cats here live on garbage and rodents, and fight for resources- only the strong survive.  Every day you see dogs, cats, donkeys and even sheep that are on their way out with a bad hand at the game of fortune.  This may be a different place than you are used to- over here starvation is considered a natural cause even with humans in these parts.

    You can imagine my dismay when this cat that was clearly not cut out for the role of a survivor approached me.   He was like Kathleen Turner in Romancing the Stone, so far out of his element that it was almost comical.  He didn't seem to mind that he was down on his luck, he was just looking to make a new friend.  I knew pretty early on that this guy needed some help.    I fed him a couple times and he never left.  Instantly I had a loyal companion.   What he lacked in his ability as a fighter he more than compensated for with his ability as a lover.  Within a week he had me ordering kitty litter and cat food on the internet, everyone here made fun of me at first and then I started noticing people were making cardboard cat houses in their rooms.  Somehow he brainwashed THEM, too!

   His head is constantly in the clouds, hence how he aquired the name Balloon Head, he just floats through life with a smile on his face showing his imperviousness to life's potential threats.  This guy just simply can't be here, he needs a couch back home.  We do the best we can over here but this job will end in September so the sooner I get him stateside the better.    I don't even like that he wanders around outside while I am at work, there are way too many ferile animals out here and he couldn't fight his way out of a bad situation even if there was a mountain of catnip on the other side. 

   He is a really good sleeper.  If sleeping was in the olympics he would eventually be on a Wheaties box.   While awake he likes to fight little stuffed animals (sent halfway around the world from Amazon) and show off with some windsprints while making his geronimo noise, but for the most part he likes to sit on chairs and pretend he is a person while people are talking.   He's quite vocal at times, he has been known to be rather bossy when the need arises. This is perhaps the goofiest animal I have ever known.

   I will update this regularly, as I always try to do, and as this cat is already a little bit of an internet celebrity it won't be hard to come up with new material to make you smile.    He lives in a secured compound with machine guns and razor wire bristling everywhere, he clashes in contrast with his cartoon character demeanor and dopey swagger.    This guy definitely chose the road less travelled...