ADJUSTING: A Story of Grief & Hope

ADJUSTING TO BECOMING A PARAPLEGIC:

A Story of Grief & Hope





Who Am I?

Who am I is a good question and one that has dramatically changed for me. My name is Ebonny. A fun, bubbly, adventure junkie photographer in love with family and friends. Part socialite, part monk. Always busy trying new things with friends, a sucker for deep & meaningful convo’s but also needing of a bit of quiet reflective time while also concerned with the human and environmental experience. I was a part of the Malaga Indoor Beach Volleyball crew for years and other interests high on the agenda were music, dance, animals, camping and of course motorbikes.

All that changed on the 23rd of October 2017 when I rode my Harley Davidson Street 500 motorbike off a bridge, falling 10 meters onto the opposite bank before rolling down into the water with the bike. By all accounts the police report could only conclude that I must have fainted while riding. I was riding to lunch one minute and waking up in the hospital not feeling my legs the next. I spent my 29th birthday on the 1st of November that year on the Trauma Ward where I was told a few days later I would never walk again. I could go on forever about the list of injuries and bones I broke but I want to focus on moving forward. To try and put a very loooong story short, I am now classified as a T5 complete ASIA A Spinal Chord Injured paraplegic. Meaning I broke my back so bad it completely severed my spinal chord mid chest so I will 99.9% never regain feeling, movement or regulate temperature from there down. As you can imagine I shattered many future plans, dreams and bucket list items along with it. I knew it was bad but all I wanted at the time was time itself. Time to say goodbye and tell loved ones I was sorry to put them through the grief. My sister used to love the quote about everything being ok in the end and if it wasn’t ok it wasn’t yet the end.

Who I am is something I’m still finding out. I have basically spent 6 months in intensive rehabilitation processes between Royal Perth Hospital and Fiona Stanley Hospital and a further 6 months in and out of hospital during the transition home. I had the accident 7 weeks before graduating a Counselling course which I am currently trying to complete bit by bit as I can handle it. One thing is for sure though, a good sense of humour is crucial to survive!



The Backstory:


Nothing can prepare you for the experience of losing feeling and movement to your legs but it also deepens your experience to the world around you in ways that aren't necessarily all bad. It has been incredibly humbling to develop lifelong friendships with people that went through that vulnerable time along side me. Humbling to witness friends and family rally around me. Humbling to witness complete strangers reach out to me and to also share their wisdoms. Humbling to be inspired by those lives who are actually harder than mine. It’s a huge journey of grief and rebuilding. Even after the crippling pain of breaking my back, nothing compares to the pain of losing my 20 year old sister in a car accident just one year earlier on the 20th of August 2016. She didn’t get to see my house that I finished building in July 2017 (just a few short months before everything had to be re-arranged). I was planning a trip around Australia on my motorbike and on my own to push myself to focus on what I loved in life the most; photography, freedom and travel.

I packed a lot of crazy shit into my now 30 years. Even the downright stupidly wild things I’m now grateful for. In fact there are quite a few things I’m grateful for. Some things are obvious, like my arms, my mind, my voice, my strength, my will and each next moment with family and friends. Other things are simple, like exchanging a smile, telling people I love them, sweet parking, good seats and being first to board a flight! As you might imagine there are also a few things I need a bit of help with to regain as much independence as I possibly can.





What do I need help with?



My “story” is devastating and tragic sometimes but it is clearly not yet the end for me. There are a few things in particular around my house that would make my life a whole lot easier. Because of my lack of ability to get out into nature at the moment I have been somewhat bringing nature to myself by gardening. However, my backyard is still not finished. To get raised garden beds installed would be a huge milestone toward my ‘contented-ness’ for those countless hours spent at home. So far Shalom House  has donated the labour to pave my yard and a path all the way around my house. Brikmakers  also donated the pavers. I am extremely grateful for those companies to allow me access around my house because lets face it, I would’ve been screwed if the power went out and I couldn’t reach my meter box haha.

Because my accident was a road one, ICWA supports people like me who are catastrophically injured (Insurance Commission of WA = when all the rego’s went up by a lot all of a sudden). This means that my care and medications are covered for life. I also get some equipment and some support to get back into the community. Things like a wheelchair of course, a gym and Physio Therapy memberships and some renovations to my bathroom and kitchen for example. Things that are crucial for me to be able to just get around and do everyday things. As amazing as ICWA has been, there a few financial gaps and stresses left over. The back yard, for example, was not covered because it was deemed to be something I might have already ‘intended’ to do.

Another thing is ICWA will pay for modifications to a car for me (did I mention they were legends?) but they won’t fund the vehicle itself. I had to sell my car due to the simple fact it is not automatic so it can’t be modified. The funds I received from the sale don’t come close to what I will need to purchase an appropriate vehicle. Being able to drive again will change everything and be the biggest single leap toward my independence.

In terms of goals beyond that, branching out into Drone Photography (where the playing field is essentially levelled) would do wonders for re-igniting my passion and being a more active member of society. Other things that have come up so far are things like a new fridge. I’m coping with mine at the moment but getting a twin door one would make it easier to open the fridge and have space to get around the door. Having a freezer at the bottom would also be easier to reach. There’s also a resort in Sydney (Sargood on Collaroy ) that caters for spinal chord injury guests; first of its kind in Australia and the only one. They also provide activities like, kayaking, boat fishing, archery, beach activities, surfing, snorkelling, cycling and the list goes on. It would be absolutely wonderful to get over there and experience all the activities in a safe environment to get a gauge on what I can and can’t do or simply even what I do and don’t want to pursue.




How can you help?

All of the support I have received over this difficult time has helped me through some really tough moments. From a simple message of thought to literally spoon feeding me when I couldn't move. A lot of people care for me and for that I am deeply moved in ways words cannot express. In my darkest hours it is that hope that gets me through. A lot of people have also wanted to help beyond a message but don’t know how. So part of the reason to set up this page is to give people a platform for that opportunity where they can be part of making a life-changing situation a hell of a lot easier to adjust to.

Any contribution you can make to building garden beds, purchasing a vehicle will be extremely appreciated. Of course any contribution further to purchasing a drone, experiencing Sargood and getting a fridge is a huge bonus that will also be extremely appreciated and go a long way to smashing those ‘independence’ milestones. Hopefully one day, I can pay it forward myself and hope that the kindness I show the world along the way inspires people to do the same. So donating and sharing my story is how you can help by doing a little that will go a long way. Thank you.