A new beginning (surviving the shooting)
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Jovan Jeremiah Mills has the word “Family” tattooed across his chest. Just below the fancy F is a small, round, slightly raised scar.
That’s where the bullet went in and almost took his life.
The 17-year-old Westside High student was shot on an early September morning while walking to his Jacksonville school bus. He ran, hid and then boarded the school bus, where the fast-thinking driver took him to a nearby fire station, helping to save his life.
That is how Jovan got his other scar, a straight, foot-long line stretching from the middle of his chest to his abdomen. Surgeons repaired holes and the damage from the ricocheting bullet that punctured his stomach and liver.
“I had a lot of holes in my body,” Jovan recalled. “They basically, like, put everything back together.”
Jovan and his mother, Cheryl Smith, now are trying to put other aspects of his life together. But it is proving as difficult as healing from the bullet damage, they said, as they cope with the emotional and financial toll of the trauma.
They hope to be able this month to move out of the neighborhood where he was shot.
They have picked a safer, prettier apartment in another neighborhood near a little pond. They have the first month’s rent, but they don’t have the money to hire movers or make a down payment, said Smith, who subsists on Social Security disability because of medical issues.
There are too many memories and too much potential for future violence on Miss Muffet Lane, where they have lived for seven years, Smith said.
For one thing, the man who Jovan said shot him has family living down the street from them.
The man was recently arrested on unrelated felony charges and is in jail on $350,000 bail. Police say he is a felon who recently carjacked and kidnapped his ex-girlfriend, beating her on her head with a gun.
He has pleaded not guilty to kidnapping, armed robbery, weapons possession as a felon, and aggravated battery.
He hasn’t been charged with shooting Jovan.
Smith said police have told her they want more witnesses or evidence before charging someone with shooting Jovan.
Jovan’s word wasn’t enough to secure attempted murder charges, Smith said, because his accounts of the shooting conflicted
Jovan said detectives asked him to limit what he says about his case. But he believes he was likely targeted by an “associate” because he refused to join a gang. He believes the shooter was told to shoot someone — or him — as part of an initiation.
Jovan said he was a good student at Westside High. The day before he was shot he was planning to join the 5000 Role Models, a student mentoring group.
He hasn’t returned to school, although he has been finishing some classwork at home.
He proudly showed off and described the long banner, posters and book his classmates gave him to encourage him.
But he expects to transfer to another high school when he moves.
Jovan’s biological father, John Mills, has his own theory about why police didn’t charge anyone with the shooting. He said recently that Jovan initially wouldn’t cooperate with police and delayed identifying the shooter because he was afraid.
Jovan said that’s not true; he was not afraid. He said he was in shock and in too much pain to answer police questions at first. He later fully cooperated.
“When I first got shot I didn’t feel nothing,” Jovan said. “It didn’t really hurt until I got to the hospital. That’s when the bullet had traveled. As soon as I went to the hospital doors, that’s when it hit me... I wanted to die as soon as I went through those doors.”
Over the next five days the pain in his chest and abdomen felt like a 50 on a scale of 1 to 10, he said.
He spent eight days in the hospital, several with an internal tube from his nose into his stomach. He struggled to walk again, to eat again, to function properly.
“Those five days were my worst days,” he said. “I got better the last two days. The third day I was ready to go.”
He left with the bullet still lodged in his abdomen. Doctors said it’s too risky to remove it; his body will likely encase it in scar tissue.
Jovan said he doesn’t even feel it.
“I don’t know why I’ve made it this long, but I’m still here,” he said. “That’s all that matters.”
He credited UF Health Jacksonville and God with saving his life.
“God was on my side the whole time,” he said. “I didn’t know Shands [now UF Health] worked with trauma. ... They ended up saving my life.”
While Jovan physically heals, he and his mother deal with emotional scars.
Since the shooting, Smith has suffered from depression and anxiety. She said doctors put her on new medications to control her shaking and she has trouble sleeping.
Jovan says he sleeps OK, but he has trouble talking with people or being around them. He keeps to himself now and is wary of strangers.
“I’m more aware of stuff now,” he said.
“You can say I’m traumatized. I always have my back against the wall. I pay attention to cars now. I look at everything. I watch everything.”
Neither Jovan nor his mother ventures outside much at night.
Jovan does school work at home, stays on his block and plays video games with his earphones in. He said he calls very few people his friends now.
“I won’t leave the area because I don’t have no friends like that,” he said. “Friends, they’re supposed to look out for each other. They’re supposed to call and check up on each other, just to see if you breathing.”
His relationship with his father is strained, too, he said. He said he doesn’t like his father arguing with his mother and so he hasn’t spoken with him much since leaving the hospital.
But Jovan wants to spend more time with extended family, with relatives. He wants to gather around people he can trust.
“I’m just close with my family. I want to build my family and for my family to come together,” he said.
“The only time they come together is when someone dies. The last time they came together was when I got shot. I want to be the one to bring them together and start doing things.”
That’s what his “Family” tattoo is all about, he said. He got it more than a year ago.
Jovan has other tattoos. On his right arm is the word “Loyalty.” On his left arm are his mother’s name and a phrase from long before he was shot.
“Life is a beautiful struggle,” it says.
“I don’t know what made me get that but I see why I got it now,” Jovan said.
“At first ... it had meaning, but now I can really go into detail about the meaning. Through it all, life is still beautiful. The sun is still going to shine regardless. Even though you may be down, it’s going to come up again.”
That’s where the bullet went in and almost took his life.
The 17-year-old Westside High student was shot on an early September morning while walking to his Jacksonville school bus. He ran, hid and then boarded the school bus, where the fast-thinking driver took him to a nearby fire station, helping to save his life.
That is how Jovan got his other scar, a straight, foot-long line stretching from the middle of his chest to his abdomen. Surgeons repaired holes and the damage from the ricocheting bullet that punctured his stomach and liver.
“I had a lot of holes in my body,” Jovan recalled. “They basically, like, put everything back together.”
Jovan and his mother, Cheryl Smith, now are trying to put other aspects of his life together. But it is proving as difficult as healing from the bullet damage, they said, as they cope with the emotional and financial toll of the trauma.
They hope to be able this month to move out of the neighborhood where he was shot.
They have picked a safer, prettier apartment in another neighborhood near a little pond. They have the first month’s rent, but they don’t have the money to hire movers or make a down payment, said Smith, who subsists on Social Security disability because of medical issues.
There are too many memories and too much potential for future violence on Miss Muffet Lane, where they have lived for seven years, Smith said.
For one thing, the man who Jovan said shot him has family living down the street from them.
The man was recently arrested on unrelated felony charges and is in jail on $350,000 bail. Police say he is a felon who recently carjacked and kidnapped his ex-girlfriend, beating her on her head with a gun.
He has pleaded not guilty to kidnapping, armed robbery, weapons possession as a felon, and aggravated battery.
He hasn’t been charged with shooting Jovan.
Smith said police have told her they want more witnesses or evidence before charging someone with shooting Jovan.
Jovan’s word wasn’t enough to secure attempted murder charges, Smith said, because his accounts of the shooting conflicted
Jovan said detectives asked him to limit what he says about his case. But he believes he was likely targeted by an “associate” because he refused to join a gang. He believes the shooter was told to shoot someone — or him — as part of an initiation.
Jovan said he was a good student at Westside High. The day before he was shot he was planning to join the 5000 Role Models, a student mentoring group.
He hasn’t returned to school, although he has been finishing some classwork at home.
He proudly showed off and described the long banner, posters and book his classmates gave him to encourage him.
But he expects to transfer to another high school when he moves.
Jovan’s biological father, John Mills, has his own theory about why police didn’t charge anyone with the shooting. He said recently that Jovan initially wouldn’t cooperate with police and delayed identifying the shooter because he was afraid.
Jovan said that’s not true; he was not afraid. He said he was in shock and in too much pain to answer police questions at first. He later fully cooperated.
“When I first got shot I didn’t feel nothing,” Jovan said. “It didn’t really hurt until I got to the hospital. That’s when the bullet had traveled. As soon as I went to the hospital doors, that’s when it hit me... I wanted to die as soon as I went through those doors.”
Over the next five days the pain in his chest and abdomen felt like a 50 on a scale of 1 to 10, he said.
He spent eight days in the hospital, several with an internal tube from his nose into his stomach. He struggled to walk again, to eat again, to function properly.
“Those five days were my worst days,” he said. “I got better the last two days. The third day I was ready to go.”
He left with the bullet still lodged in his abdomen. Doctors said it’s too risky to remove it; his body will likely encase it in scar tissue.
Jovan said he doesn’t even feel it.
“I don’t know why I’ve made it this long, but I’m still here,” he said. “That’s all that matters.”
He credited UF Health Jacksonville and God with saving his life.
“God was on my side the whole time,” he said. “I didn’t know Shands [now UF Health] worked with trauma. ... They ended up saving my life.”
While Jovan physically heals, he and his mother deal with emotional scars.
Since the shooting, Smith has suffered from depression and anxiety. She said doctors put her on new medications to control her shaking and she has trouble sleeping.
Jovan says he sleeps OK, but he has trouble talking with people or being around them. He keeps to himself now and is wary of strangers.
“I’m more aware of stuff now,” he said.
“You can say I’m traumatized. I always have my back against the wall. I pay attention to cars now. I look at everything. I watch everything.”
Neither Jovan nor his mother ventures outside much at night.
Jovan does school work at home, stays on his block and plays video games with his earphones in. He said he calls very few people his friends now.
“I won’t leave the area because I don’t have no friends like that,” he said. “Friends, they’re supposed to look out for each other. They’re supposed to call and check up on each other, just to see if you breathing.”
His relationship with his father is strained, too, he said. He said he doesn’t like his father arguing with his mother and so he hasn’t spoken with him much since leaving the hospital.
But Jovan wants to spend more time with extended family, with relatives. He wants to gather around people he can trust.
“I’m just close with my family. I want to build my family and for my family to come together,” he said.
“The only time they come together is when someone dies. The last time they came together was when I got shot. I want to be the one to bring them together and start doing things.”
That’s what his “Family” tattoo is all about, he said. He got it more than a year ago.
Jovan has other tattoos. On his right arm is the word “Loyalty.” On his left arm are his mother’s name and a phrase from long before he was shot.
“Life is a beautiful struggle,” it says.
“I don’t know what made me get that but I see why I got it now,” Jovan said.
“At first ... it had meaning, but now I can really go into detail about the meaning. Through it all, life is still beautiful. The sun is still going to shine regardless. Even though you may be down, it’s going to come up again.”
Organizer
Cheryl Smith
Organizer
Jacksonville, FL
