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Ricky Gelb Health Fund / he's sick.

$415 of $3,500 goal

Raised by 10 people in 19 days
Its 3am and I just woke up freezing, shivering, sweaty, grabbing for another blanket to stop the shivering. It's really not that cold in my apartment it's cold in me. My body does these weird jerks out of nowhere to when Im shivering hard. I keep getting sick, mostly in my gut, a lot of pain and puking. It's been bad for the past six months but recently worse, I haven't been up to working most days over the past three months. I also get these severe attacks my Doctor thinks is my esophagus locking shut. It feels like an arrow going in the front and coming out the back, then the pain shoots up into my ears and I feel like I'm gonna pass out from the intensity of the pain. I'm really doomed if I take a sip or a bite of something when its happening. In addition, it's hard to swallow out of the blue at times. Those attacks are now also lingering as a dull pain. I just got a new provider named Dr Ziegler whos great and Dr Ditmanson whos one of the coolest Docs in the world is by my side helping. I haven't had a good Doc in years and am so grateful to have these guys digging in tryin to figure out what in totality is going on. After 3 months of trying to see a GI specialist, finally it happened and on the 16th I get to get a upper and lower GI, that should be fun..lol No seriously, Im grateful finally getting to get these tests. We've also been trying to get a Cat-Scan approved for three months, finally we got a date it was 3 weeks off on a monday. I received a call the Friday before the procedure saying the insurance comp decided they wouldn't pay for a Cat-Scan until I do a Ultrasound. So that happens and Ive been told it showed a fatty Liver which is pre-liver disease and a Splenomegaly which is an enlarged Spleen that is caused by infections, liver disease or cancer says wikipedia They could not get a read on my pancreas and they did not focus on the area I get the attacks in with the Ultrasound. 

Another problem we've had is no one has been able to get blood out of me to run all the tests we need. They tried on three different days at the Lab at my Doctors office, at one point they had four ties on each arm, had my both arms up and my leg all at the same time, two doctors and three nurses trying at the same time and nothing. They even couldn't get blood from me at LabCorp were they are trained phlebotomists.  Finally Dr Ditmanson was able to get a few drops and it was so dark in color, he said that meant I was severely dehydrated. He also said next time he will get it from that vein in the groin era, ooh I can't wait for that fun..lol They were able to run part of a basic panel on the bit they got and it showed my good and bad cholesterol are high as well a vitamin D and not sure what else, i only talked with a nurse about it not the Doc yet.  

So at this point I don't know the severity of it all yet, I know it does me in on many days and because of that, Ive fallen into a bad situation, especially when ones sick! Im behind on rent and everything for a couple months and about to get stuff shut off and be homeless at anytime. I'm surprised it hasn't really happened yet but it's definitely coming down the Pike.

I need at least $1500.00 yesterday to put out the big fire.  I need to live on a new healthy diet with the conditions I already know I have. I started smoothies, green juice, electrolyte packets, probiotics as I've taken an absurd amount of antibiotics this past year.  Eating a healing diet in itself is costly but a better need and remedy then the endless pills they keep giving me. 

The good news is Im working on a book titled "Self Vs. Self" and its flowing through me bigger than ever, prolly what The Mystery wants me to be doing. I practice taking my will out of the equation, whenever I become aware my thinking is creating a problem. When i simply take my will out of the equation, I can see what the Universe and The Mystery have conjured greater than my finite power. To me this is true Co-Creating. Acknowledging and being in alliance with the power that turned me from one cell into something like sixty trillion cells. The Mystery that keeps my lungs breathing and has a sky full of breathes awaiting me and my heart pumping without any effort. I know the book i'm putting to paper is part my calling, has been for over a decade. To anyone that knows me knows I've been helping people with addictions, anxiety, depression,  and the residue of trauma such as low self worth and self-love in many different professional capacities for 25 years. During the past decade I have come to find the power of meditation and The Relaxation Response it produces better medicine that anything else out there, but its rarely taught in an attainable way. What Ive been shown and pass on is very simple and obtainable from the first sitting and its vital that is so if you want the client to believe they can meditate and continue. My mission is to make it publically known the benefits and simplicity of the Silent Mantra and it to be free for all to utilize.  A short bio on myself, click here. 

To any kind soul that donates (and please do it yesterday) , I will be happy to offer the following:
1. A live meditation teaching in person if in Tucson or online.
2. I will pay you back with extra when I get back on my feet, hopefully selling my book.
3. A link to a downloadable Silent Mantra lesson, filmed in high Definition at The Science Of Consciousness Conf. 
4. For a donation of $500.00 or more gets a group meditation teaching. Gather the family, have the girls over for a girls night of meditation, or even at your place of work. 
5. Gift a random anonymous person a teaching. 

But honestly, by helping me you are helping get the book done in the near future, and I know if the book gets the right exposure, it will help millions of folks. It would make such a difference to people battling opioids, it takes the white knuckle out of recovery.  

Im very uncomfortable doing this GoFundMe, I guess it's just part of my personal journey, The Mystery seems to never stop teaching me humility. I don't wish to upset anyone by doing this GFM, I wish I was not in the position to have to. Id be happy being healthy enough to drive a million hours for UberEats just to be independent. But being this sick that you can't work most days and behind so on bills is scary, I really thank anyone who donates.

A strange thing that's happening to me is, a profound peace has come over me in the midst of such discord. The way i've witnessed folks before they die often get. I've never been more grateful to have my little apartment with my little dog named Pig, that my car runs, to wake up to another sunny or rainy day and to be able to see the endless daily blessing & phenomenons in every direction. I keep getting captivated and astonished by a pure honest smile, on a color in something or light reflecting. I hope I can change my lifestyle towards  more wellness and gain new body consciousness. To thrive still as I feel the best work and service work of my life Im to do over the next 5 years.  I had a profound awakening about fifteen years ago and from that point forward I've known my calling and have been granted the energy to do it. I hope I get to thrive on but at 54 and the way addiction has taken its toll on my body, its very likely this is a cross roads, I will try to do all the wellness to balance myself out, but it could likely be the start of the end.

I really only want 3 things still in the material world as I do look forward to ridding the burden of being uprite and shifting free into a Light Being. I know I got some work to do in that state of consciousness.

1. To do the best work of my life over the next 5 years that will help millions of people.
2.To welcome death when it comes without fear, rather look forward to the transition.
3. A mutually healing, kind, passionate love affair then I have ever experienced.

I have no doubt that a big part of my illness came directly from a broken heart. It never goes away, I found my self crying in my dreams over it just two nights ago.

Any amount, large or small will help. But only if you can afford to do so. 
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              
Thank You!

~rg

The following are a few 


From a client at the Rehab:
I love meditation, I look forward to it everyday after morning workout. It’s helped me realize that I’m in control of my emotions and stay happy and peaceful throughout the day. Since I’ve been sober and meditating on a regular basis I’ve noticed that I’m generally in a happy/good mood for most of the day. As apposed to being sober and not meditating, I was usually in a  bad or groggy mood. Since I’ve started meditation at ARC, I made a vow to meditate everyday for the rest of my life. I really find it beneficial to maintaining sobriety, and believe everyone needs to try it with a open mind and open heart. I no longer take medication like suboxone or anything, my motto is: My medication is meditation.
Jacob


Maritza Meneses Keefe wrote: Thank you for the kind words, Ricky. I'm so happy you are returning to your calling. I believe you can help so many people. I'm sure there are so many of us who have missed you. Your meditation program changed my life. Your method is so clear and non restrictive, it gave me the ability to finally connect with my higher being. I wish you well, and I'll be looking forward to your meditation program


Dear Ricky Gelb,

This has happened after a handful of very bleak years filled with many closed doors and an unhealthy living environment that has been whittling away at my spirit and joy.
For the past few years I had been trying to improve my life by improving my skills for my profession with a master's degree. I got my degree despite many obstacles, but at the end was bereft and drained.I then tried to improve my life by finding a busy and better paying job again in my profession of social work. I have never gotten so many rejection letters in my life, even though I have an excellent resume with six years of experience beyond my education. It is nice to be smart, and to know things. But, as you said in one of your speaking engagements, knowledge alone cannot save me in my current situation. If so, I wouldn't be where I am at.

Not being able to find a job at the peak of my skills left me feeling discouraged and at times, suicidal. This cycle went on for endless months now, and I have been downright miserable, wanting to leave my home situation, and not having the means to do so. Living here is living a lie, and it is extremely draining.

But 3 weeks ago I was in such a despaired state, I thought my life was not worth living. I mean, I really thought about it in a serious plan kind of way. I felt utterly hopeless.

I would never do that to my grown children, so of course, I am still here. But...I knew if I was that miserable, I HAD to change something. Feeling that strongly about everything was a turning point for me, a 'bottom' for me.

I got online last night looking for recovery-related Web sites to fill myself up with more hope and faith.

I found your recoverymeditation.org site, and it was exactly what I needed. I spent 3 hours reading and listening, and went to bed afterward saying your friend DJ's prayer over and over.
It resonated with me...exactly where I am at. I printed it out and put it in my wallet today.
It may be the most beautiful prayer I have ever known.
I slept peacefully and soundly for the first time in a long time.
I'm writing all this very personal stuff to you to thank you. 

Thank you for posting the things you did on your site. They are a big piece of what is helping me save me at the moment.

I also agree with the wrong constitution of self. That has happened for me as well, and I am ready to find my right constitution.

I will be returning to your site daily, to fill myself up some more, and keep looking forward in my new journey.

My feet are on a path of life and spiritual healing, and for the first time in a few years, I am excited to see what is going to happen next, instead of dreading another day that will be just like all the days before it. When my thoughts spiral, I will use the speaker snippets and prayers on your site along with other things I'm using...to get me through the dark moments.

Your site and it's content, is helping me save my own life.

Thank you.

I look forward to your book.

Namaste,

Rebekah Z. W, MSW




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Peace

It really is about being in the moment to have peace. The total sum of our life's experience basically dictates whether that's possible or not. My observation it is, that we live in a society conditions us to live in a state of fight or flight almost all the time. There's an epidemic of anxiety, fear, self absorption and loneliness. As well as the lack of meaning and purpose, but what it really breaks down to when people first suffering is that they're not living their true nature. And we live in a society that sets us up cannot live our true nature. Often we don't even know what's bothering us, we may blame ourselves, we made blame the environment we were raised in, we may blame those who have hurt us and embedded a lifetime of residue from a traumatic experience. We've become even more vulnerable as We age, as the body and mind stop rejuvenating like when we were younger.

But regardless of how we got here, the question is? How do I want to live the rest of my life? Do I want to live in the moment, where the future and past does not matter, but that from this time and place forward I can experience happiness and joy, peace and love, a new experience where I see the world and myself different than before, as I put on a new pair of glasses and can see for the first time. A new consciousness, transcending conditioning, attachments, ignorance, ego, ideals, believes, basically a false Constitution that was written for me as a child, that is simply not my true nature. And perhaps discomfort I have experience in this life in this world, just because I've been living away that is not the way of my true nature. My friends I am here to tell you, this is my story to, and to be in the moment and shift to a new consciousness such as described above, is actually very simple. Most of it you are already wired for it, maybe despite their good intentions, the folks that raised us, did the best they could though had their own degree of ignorance. And keep in mind that ignorance is, the lack of information. In addition to our personal environment that we grew up in, Society really sets us up for anxiety. They knew 10,000 years ago how important it was to meditate daily, the reason we meditate daily has many many health benefits to it but primarily it's away of relaxing into the moment. Most people try to think they're waiting into the moment, they try to use the mind that's all over the place, the very thing that we're trying to be in the moment from, which is our busy, or Conditioned, compulsive thinking. Which is impossible, but experiencing our way into the moment with meditation it is very possible actually very simple. My observation is though that about 99% of what is being taught as meditation, is not attainable, or rather, it's not being taught in an obtainable attainable way. Over the last decade I've been sharing a method of meditation I called silent mantra meditation that is very attainable from the first sitting. I believe it is vital that is a person has a profound relaxation response from the first sitting so they know they are totally capable of meditating, as many of us have tried before and quick meditating because we either felt we think too much or we just couldn't get deep in.

I will share with you the silent mantra method in this book as I believe we are supposed to be meditating daily in the same manner we are to eat, sleep, shit, breathe, daily. Relaxation response is the State of the nervous system should be in which is true to our nature, not living in fight or flight which again is so easy to happen in today's society. We simply were not shown how important this was or an attainable method as children because the people that raised us we're ignorant, they simply were never shown themselves how to do it and why it was so important. But returning to the notion new how important it was 10,000 years ago, one just has to look at the root words of the word mantra. Man = Mind or To Think, Tra = Freedom of the bondage from or Protection From. So therefore, the root words of mantra back 10,000 years ago in Sanskrit, mean, freedom from the bondage of our own thinking or protection from our own minds. Which is the total sum of her life experience. I have found shifting consciousness after 20 or more minutes of meditation can do what years of therapy have never been able to do for me. I repeat,I completely believe that we are supposed to be meditating daily to be healthy and to be in the moment. I think this is what Jesus was referring to when he spoke of being in the world but not of the world. And the Buddha did the same speaking of having Farm but emptiness. I will get into this more in depth in a different part of The book.

So meditation is something that we are already wired for. Soon after you start a daily practice of meditation, it will become obvious to you this is true. The whole experience of meditation is self revealing as one gets into the meditation, my intent and purpose it Is to only show you a very attainable way to transcendence. To stillness, to a relaxation response of the nervous system that will slow your heart Drop your blood pressure and take away the busy brain and compulsive thinking, where you will be left with being directed by awareness in consciousness.

This is my calling, I AM dedicated and directed to show the public how easy it is to Meditate, the benefits of it and it should be FREE and passed on to friends, family and enemy.
Attainable meditation can help millions in recovery, with anxiety and low self worth. It can simply take away thinking that is making us suffer we're bringing us discomfort, and let us relax into the moment mind and body so that we can experience profound joy, peace, happiness, self-love, meaning and purpose, gratitude, connection and love that is true to our nature as a human being.
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After teaching the Silent Mantra Meditation to some great skate punks in Venice Beach last year. They said they've tried before to meditate but can't, I hear that from everyone, but after one sitting being taught something attainable, it became simple to slow the heart, drop blood pressure and go into Relaxation Response, the opposite of fight or flight (from the first time doing the silent mantra) look at the joy on there faces. Wen I walked up on them i they wer gonna rob me...lol
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