help my parents
Donation protected
I know my parents might not like this. They don't like asking for help or hand outs, but I feel like the time has come that I need to step up and ask for them. So here goes.
A few years ago my Father (Wesley Bonafe') found out he had a brain tumor (a cavernous hemangioma). It was by luck actually that they found it when they did. Apparently the type of tumor he had was one that wouldn't really cause issues and was usually found in an autopsy for the cause of death. It was found during a scan for something completely unrelated. His Dr. recommended it be removed since there was absolutely no way of telling when it could kill him. So like anyone would do my parents asked all of the questions about what could happen and how the procedure would go. Like any surgery there were risks. It was very close to his brain stem and from the looks of the scans the Dr felt pretty sure that he could get it out with no complications. This ended up not being the case. It had grown around the spinal cord which made it difficult but the Dr did succeed in removing it. All seemed well.
My Dad woke up and seemed ok but then after a while they noticed something wasn't quite right. My Dads balance was off. He felt a little different. Something happened during the surgery that caused some changes in the way he processed things and his attitude. For reasons noone seems to know he has a lot of complications. He is left handed and after the surgery he has difficulty controlling the left side of his body. It is almost like parkinsons type thing. I don't know how to describe it but I can explain one of the main things I see. Lets say hes sitting and watching TV. He is fine, but then as soon as he goes to pick up his cup of coffee his arm just doesn't do what his brain is trying to tell it to. It shakes and once he grabs the cup its a fight to get it to his lips. I've seen his frustration and it brings tears to my eyes every time. Sadly he looks intoxicated when he is walking and even more so if he is trying to hide it. Again the more he concentrates the worse it seems to get.
We all talked and thought about getting him on disibility before he returned to work but my Father didn't want to do that. He was strong, He went back to work. Shortly after that though he was demoted. I don't know what their reasonings were but they demoted him again. He has some issues with thinking and changing his mind.
It is hard for me to explain again but he just isn't the same. This is hard for me to put into words but I am trying. Basically he has no filter anymore and doesn't seem to realize when people are trying to figure out how something will work or explain to him why it won't work. If he thinks it's right he doesn't want to hear any other options. This isn't how he was prior.
So to make things shorter, he was demoted due to all the things i've talked about and more that I probably wasn't told about. I haven't lived at home for almost 7 or 8 years so I am sure I don't know it all. But after that he was demoted 2 more times into a position that we all felt was done solely to make my father fail. It was a position where after a finalized project was about to get sent out he was in charge of catching any mistakes. So with that my Father decided it was time to leave that company and try to move on. He did not give up. As much as I could see his dissapointment he pushed through and was hired by another firm that knew him and had heard about how good he was. That was a pay cut of nearly 50% but it was a job and my Dad made the best of it. They were in risk of losing their house and my Dad gave up the first brand new car he had ever purchased because they couldn't afford to keep it. They cut costs everywhere they could and even got help refinancing the house in order to keep it.
Around this time it finally came to light that my Oldest brother was addicted to pain killers. My parents took him in and used a large portion of their savings to pay to send him to rehab. It was a hard road for him and at first it didn't seem to work. He left. My parents reached out to Dr Phil and that seemed promising. They had all of us sign saying we wouldn't talk to other shows and told us to wait for their call to be on the show. That never came. They were left to deal with it alone.
Then after about a year my Father was let go. Still he didn't give up. He looked and found another job but it required a lot of driving and being away from my Mom. Like my Father though he took it in stride and made it work. The new job required him have a reliable vehicle and the car he had just wasn't going to cut it. They offered to pay for a car for him but he had to buy it. So he did. They would pay the bill like they do for all of their other employees. He bought the car and started work. He left his house every sunday night and lived out of a hotel until friday and came home on the weekends. It was far away. It was a struggle but my Dad never complained. But again. That brings us to now. He was just let go. Right before Christmas. Left to foot the bill for his new car until they can get rid of it. They will take a huge loss selling the car even if they can get the full KBB value of the car. There is no way they can afford to keep it. My Mom called me very upset. I don't know all of their finances but I do Know that when I talked to them last about it, that they were at risk of losing the house even with the new job. So now I know it's just a matter of time.
My parents could really use some help to keep their house and make ends meet while my Mother does everything in her power to grow her new business (Fighting Gravity Fitness). My Mother started this business in the midst of all of this as an attempt to bring money to the table and get some of the load off of my Father. It is working but it just isn't quite enough to make ends meet for them. They won't ever show it but they are struggling. I know it is more intense than my Mom is even telling me and I know it is only a matter of time before I get the call that they are going to lose the house.
Any amount you have will help. Even if it's only $1. It would mean the world to me if we could help my parents out and just take some stress away. My family has been through a roller coaster of emotions with all of this. I can't even put down everything as you all would be reading this like a novel and have to take breaks. Please help. It won't go to waste I promise you.
A few years ago my Father (Wesley Bonafe') found out he had a brain tumor (a cavernous hemangioma). It was by luck actually that they found it when they did. Apparently the type of tumor he had was one that wouldn't really cause issues and was usually found in an autopsy for the cause of death. It was found during a scan for something completely unrelated. His Dr. recommended it be removed since there was absolutely no way of telling when it could kill him. So like anyone would do my parents asked all of the questions about what could happen and how the procedure would go. Like any surgery there were risks. It was very close to his brain stem and from the looks of the scans the Dr felt pretty sure that he could get it out with no complications. This ended up not being the case. It had grown around the spinal cord which made it difficult but the Dr did succeed in removing it. All seemed well.
My Dad woke up and seemed ok but then after a while they noticed something wasn't quite right. My Dads balance was off. He felt a little different. Something happened during the surgery that caused some changes in the way he processed things and his attitude. For reasons noone seems to know he has a lot of complications. He is left handed and after the surgery he has difficulty controlling the left side of his body. It is almost like parkinsons type thing. I don't know how to describe it but I can explain one of the main things I see. Lets say hes sitting and watching TV. He is fine, but then as soon as he goes to pick up his cup of coffee his arm just doesn't do what his brain is trying to tell it to. It shakes and once he grabs the cup its a fight to get it to his lips. I've seen his frustration and it brings tears to my eyes every time. Sadly he looks intoxicated when he is walking and even more so if he is trying to hide it. Again the more he concentrates the worse it seems to get.
We all talked and thought about getting him on disibility before he returned to work but my Father didn't want to do that. He was strong, He went back to work. Shortly after that though he was demoted. I don't know what their reasonings were but they demoted him again. He has some issues with thinking and changing his mind.
It is hard for me to explain again but he just isn't the same. This is hard for me to put into words but I am trying. Basically he has no filter anymore and doesn't seem to realize when people are trying to figure out how something will work or explain to him why it won't work. If he thinks it's right he doesn't want to hear any other options. This isn't how he was prior.
So to make things shorter, he was demoted due to all the things i've talked about and more that I probably wasn't told about. I haven't lived at home for almost 7 or 8 years so I am sure I don't know it all. But after that he was demoted 2 more times into a position that we all felt was done solely to make my father fail. It was a position where after a finalized project was about to get sent out he was in charge of catching any mistakes. So with that my Father decided it was time to leave that company and try to move on. He did not give up. As much as I could see his dissapointment he pushed through and was hired by another firm that knew him and had heard about how good he was. That was a pay cut of nearly 50% but it was a job and my Dad made the best of it. They were in risk of losing their house and my Dad gave up the first brand new car he had ever purchased because they couldn't afford to keep it. They cut costs everywhere they could and even got help refinancing the house in order to keep it.
Around this time it finally came to light that my Oldest brother was addicted to pain killers. My parents took him in and used a large portion of their savings to pay to send him to rehab. It was a hard road for him and at first it didn't seem to work. He left. My parents reached out to Dr Phil and that seemed promising. They had all of us sign saying we wouldn't talk to other shows and told us to wait for their call to be on the show. That never came. They were left to deal with it alone.
Then after about a year my Father was let go. Still he didn't give up. He looked and found another job but it required a lot of driving and being away from my Mom. Like my Father though he took it in stride and made it work. The new job required him have a reliable vehicle and the car he had just wasn't going to cut it. They offered to pay for a car for him but he had to buy it. So he did. They would pay the bill like they do for all of their other employees. He bought the car and started work. He left his house every sunday night and lived out of a hotel until friday and came home on the weekends. It was far away. It was a struggle but my Dad never complained. But again. That brings us to now. He was just let go. Right before Christmas. Left to foot the bill for his new car until they can get rid of it. They will take a huge loss selling the car even if they can get the full KBB value of the car. There is no way they can afford to keep it. My Mom called me very upset. I don't know all of their finances but I do Know that when I talked to them last about it, that they were at risk of losing the house even with the new job. So now I know it's just a matter of time.
My parents could really use some help to keep their house and make ends meet while my Mother does everything in her power to grow her new business (Fighting Gravity Fitness). My Mother started this business in the midst of all of this as an attempt to bring money to the table and get some of the load off of my Father. It is working but it just isn't quite enough to make ends meet for them. They won't ever show it but they are struggling. I know it is more intense than my Mom is even telling me and I know it is only a matter of time before I get the call that they are going to lose the house.
Any amount you have will help. Even if it's only $1. It would mean the world to me if we could help my parents out and just take some stress away. My family has been through a roller coaster of emotions with all of this. I can't even put down everything as you all would be reading this like a novel and have to take breaks. Please help. It won't go to waste I promise you.
Organizer
Brandon Bonafe
Organizer
Powhatan, VA
