Medical expenses

$8,000 of $7,500 goal

Raised by 27 people in 68 months
I am battling with what was diagnosed as Relapsing/Remitting Multiple Sclerosis (RRMS for short).

I have missed a LOT of time at work and depleted my PTO available back in October shortly after all of this started.

I missed another full week of work (40 hours) and a holiday day (NYE as I wasn't scheduled) as I was hospitalized again from Christmas Day until Dec 30th.
My financial situation is still touch-n-go and I'm about $500 short of what I need day-to-day right now.
I need to get the tabs (license plate stickers) for my car as mine lapsed on Dec 1, 17 which are $195 this year. I still need a new car battery ($140 with a $15-20 core charge in there). Cell company is working with me, will know full details tomorrow. But, with the $350 on car stuff, it needs gas (why on earth did I leave it sitting with <1/4 tank?) as I didn't get gas in it due to the hospitalization and subsequent not starting.

I just can't quite get caught up and stable with these MS attacks and I need to put this stress behind me as one of the big triggers of MS attacks is stress.
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Good news and bad news.

Good news first: My MS is well controlled and no new activity has been seen in the past two years.

Bad news: I am still constantly exhausted and having chronic debilitating headaches. There is something else going on and there is going to be more testing in my future.

I was in the hospital last week with yet another headache with loss of consciousness. My biochemistry was out of balance from all the Aleve I had taken for the headache as well. Now I am back to the same point but haven't taken any Aleve (or anything else) since being in the hospital.

I was expecting to be back to work on Monday but this headache but I slept all but five hours of Monday. I'm only awake now thanks to the storm rolling through but I'm still exhausted and barely keeping my eyes open.

Having actually worked two weeks, I was able to get caught up quite a bit on bills and such. However, I do have my cell bill which is now large and past due as well as the Comcast bill which is coming due on the 28th.

The cell bill is the immediate worry as I don't have service as of tomorrow. Comcast has a few days.

Also, the 30th is my birthday so if you would to surprise me and give me a little bit for my birthday, it would bring a smile to my face and lift my spirits.
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A final update: I'm done. I'm done with fighting to keep my head up. I'm done with fighting to make myself heard and respected. I'm just done.

I want to give a sincere and heartfelt thank you to everyone who had donated to me via GoFundMe, Facebook, or in person. At various times, it has been the life preserver that kept things going and kept me above water.

No more. I'm done.

As of today, June 16th: I no longer have a car (thanks bank who said they'd work with me), I'm a month behind on rent, and six hundred dollars behind on utilities. My Flex account is empty (used up) so I'm in the gap with my prescriptions that I get to pay for them out of pocket until they hit their out of pocket max (which we supposedly don't have) and the co-pays zero out. (HR, BlueCross, ExpressScripts, and CVS ...none can explain it!)

The icing on this ever-loving cake: I've missed four of the last five WEEKS of work (unpaid) because I'm having massive panic attacks due to the sheer amount of stress I'm dealing with between finances, our HR 'people', and my medical team playing hot potato with who is supposed to sign off on my care.

So, I keep having to miss time because I either go haywire or shutdown from the stress and need days to recover, and my care team punts around my leave of absence paperwork so long t hat it goes over the required deadline for the leave to get approved...and *wham* I'm now on a corrective action for attendance issues. Said corrective action also keeps me from getting merit raise this year, keeps me from being eligible for promotion, or transfer outside of our department.

Okay, I leave my current employer and *boom* now I have to work a year full time before I'm protected by the Family Medical Leave Act again.

I'm not in state of needing to be declared disabled. I just need to be able to pull my life together somehow so that I can try to manage it successfully.

Oh wait, we've seen how well this works the last few years as the MS has ramped up and has started to affect me both physically and mentally.

I'm sorry to disappoint everyone but I'm done. I can't do this any more. I don't know what to do and I don't know where to turn.

Do I surrender myself for psychiatric treatment? What are they going to do? Medicate me until I'm numb? I talked to my psychiatrist last week and she was already talking about adding two meds. I *know* the issue isn't going to be treated/managed by medication.

Sorry for this being such a long final post. I fully intended it to be a brief thank you and goodbye. I've done that and here's where I say thank you to everyone one last time, goodbye, and sign off one last time.
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It's been a month since my last update and what I hoped would be my last update. No such luck.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a nasty cold (as we say, the "what's going around") but I couldn't kick it, so I went to urgent care. I had chest pain and shortness of breath with it that the nebulizer treatment didn't fix, so they sent me to the ER to be evaluated for a blood clot and/or something cardiac. All negative, false alarm due to the nasty asthma attack I was having with the cold.

Two weeks later, I'm sitting working and all of a sudden, I get a stabbing pain behind my breastbone but it feels like it's on my spine and the pain grows and feels like it is squeezing me in half.

Hmm...this may be an actual MS flare is my thought.

So the next day I call out from work and call my neurologist. Play phone tag with her (phone was downstairs and I was napping upstairs). Next morning, call the office again and get told that with the chest pain and shortness of breath, it's urgent care or ER. I'm still thinking that it's my MS so I go to urgent care. An EKG, blood work, and chest x-rays later, I'm off to the ER to have a full workup for a blood clot and/or a blockage.

Nothing there. ER doc's diagnosis? I'm having a side effect reaction to the injectable med I am on for managing my MS. As soon as I hear that, I'm angry. I told the nurse, I've been on this med daily for 20 months...side effects don't just go "BOO!" and start suddenly...and the pain started in my BACK not my chest.

I got home and left a rather agitated voicemail for my neurologist which got me an amusing voicemail back that my neurologist had "called bullshit" on that diagnosis.

Her (neurologists) thinking is that with all the chaos in my life in the last two years: MS diagnosis, chronic migraines, work problems (HR), financial stress - I may be having panic attacks.

What's the order? Another week off work and a referral to see a new psychologist. He specializes in patients who have chronic and/or terminal life changing diagnoses. I'm getting worked into the new doc's schedule to be evaluated early next week.

In the mean time, I think I may head to Illinois and swallow all pride and see if I can get a loan from my parents.

I'm at a point where my physical health is doing well, but my mental health is where the wheels have come off. I think about money and I get physically ill.

If I could ever get fully caught up and get my mental state to settle down and not freak out, I fully believe I'd be able to support myself and be back to what most people (including myself) would consider a normal life.

As it stands, my immediate stress is to catch up on my car, rent, and utilities. Grand total there: $2500 as I've spent my FSA, I'm paying for my prescription co-pays out of pocket now.

That gets me current but doesn't take into account that I will have missed *9* days of work and not be getting paid for them.

My "wish" to get is $5000 so I can double the "catch up" and actually get myself to a state where I have a cushion / breathing space in case something does happen in the future.

I really don't know what to expect when I talk to the parents. I'm expecting a hard no.

When people say, you are only one medical issue away from financial ruin: they aren't kidding.
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I am wrapping up two weeks of medical leave with no pay. While it has completely depleted my savings and then some, it is what I have needed. My MS is finally well controlled, my chronic migraines are currently controlled, and my stress level is dramatically lower. My resting pulse rate is almost 30 lower. I was regularly near 120 for my resting pulse and now it's down near 85.

My physical and mental health is now is a much place than it has been in a very long time. I have come to accept my physical and mental limitations and have a sense of humour about them.

However, this will not help me keep my car. pay rent, and put food on the table. I will not see a 'normal' paycheck for three weeks.

I need 1500 dollars as soon as possible to keep my car, pay rent, and get groceries. the most critical is the 867 for my car as it is currently tagged for repossession at any time and I need it for work and the many medical appointments I have to maintain the good state I am currently in.

Please help me on last time if you can.
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$8,000 of $7,500 goal

Raised by 27 people in 68 months
Created January 7, 2014
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Bob Rose
12 months ago

big hugs

13 months ago
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