Self Harm Surgery

Hello I am 17 now I was groomed by a pedophile online who told me to kill myself and self harm. This procedure isnt something that is covered by the NHS but I really don't want this as a daily reminder. For now though I want to by able to get some sort of creams for my scars. So as of now I am trying to get silicon gel sheets but I have them all ober both of my arms and scrapped away some skin near my ankle. The pedophile is located in America and I'm in England so the court dates have only just been made for November so it's a constant struggle. I only stopped being groomed February 2018. I am young. I make mistakes. Please help me not live with this mistake. I still live with it and it's difficult but I am strong. It also didnt help that I was getting bullied at school which pushed me that little bit more. Thank you for reading this and have a great day :) Please pray for me