Skin Removal After Massive Weight Loss
My name is Shirley Hoffman. I am 30 years old. I am a military wife getting ready to celebrate my 10 year wedding anniversary with my best friend and the love of my youth. I am also a mother to three of the most loving, hilarious, and intellegent children anyone could be blessed with. I have been obese my entire life. My highest weight was recorded in the doctor's office at a whopping 342.6! An Orca whale is born weighing around 395 pounds. I was 52.4 pounds away from weighing the same as a WHALE!!!
It was time to get serious and make some tough changes. I had the Roux en Y gastric bypass surgery in May of 2011. Since then, I have
lost over 180 pounds and have become a certified master personal trainer.
I hit 160 pounds on February 1, 2013 and I should have been happy. The truth is, I wasn't. I had lost over 180 pounds, but I was left with around 25-30 pounds of skin that could only go away with several surgeries; surgeries that my husband's active duty insurance wouldn't cover, and that we would never be able to afford with three children on an E4's salary. I would never take money away from my children to make myself happy. However, I was horrified at the thought of spending the rest of my life trapped in another body I hated after I had worked so hard to escape my 340 pound prison. Losing such a massive amount of weight definitely didn't cause my self-esteem to rise. Even though I had met my husband in middle school and I currently weighed less than he had ever seen me, it didn't make me feel more attractive for him. He told me I have always been beautiful to him, but I felt disgusting. I still couldn't fit into smaller clothes. And because my skin was constantly getting ripped open as well as being plagued with rashes and never ending infections, I had more health problems now than when I weighed 340 pounds! 
I was terrified to tell anyone that I was a personal trainer because the trainers on tv and in the gyms are beautiful. Their bodies inspire others to work hard but I looked like Clayface from Batman. I was afraid that no one would want to hire me because I would always be overweight with my extra skin. Who wants to hire a trainer that can't even hit their own fitness and weight loss goals?!? Losing weight left me just as defeated and broken as I was while I was morbidly obese. Losing weight was supposed to solve all of my problems but instead, I was left with even more; I wasn't prepared for the mental battle that comes with weight loss, and I turned back to food for my comfort. This relapse led to a 30 pound weight gain over the course of a year. It was less than 3.5 pounds a month so it took me awhile to realize I was slipping back into old habits.
Then I found the Made to Crave: Satisfying your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food bible study by Lysa Terkeurst. It has been life-changing!!! I have come to realize that measuring my progress by a number on the scale, the size of my clothing, or how attractive I felt would never lead to lasting changes or satisfaction. Now I ask myself:
* Did I overeat today?
* Did I exercise?
* Did I eat in secret or frustration?
* Would my fitness and nutrition choices be pleasing to God?
Since deciding to make this weight loss journey about growing closer to and trusting in God instead of focusing on the foods I have given up or the paralyzing fear of no one wanting to hire a trainer who looks like I do, I have found peace. I have lost 10 pounds since starting the Bible study and am back down to 180 pounds but more importantly, I am learning to be an overcomer of my addictions with food and I am learning to turn to God as my source of comfort.
I am trying to raise money to help with the cost of the surgeries I so desperately need. I will need to have a circumferential tummy tuck that includes a back lift and a butt lift, an inner and outer thigh lift, an arm lift, and a total breast reconstruction.
As my old fears and doubts try to creep to the forefront of my mind, I am gently reminded that God is in control and that He created me to be victorious. Please help with money to pay for the surgeries if you have the means, but I would also greatly appreciate your prayers if you do not. I serve a loving and mighty God and I know that prayers can move mountains!
Thank you very much for your time. And please feel free to share my journey with your family and friends.
