Help my mom fight brain cancer

On June 18th, 2018 — the day after my last graduation ceremony — my mother was rushed to the ER after excruciating migraines that left her unable to walk and talk. Shortly after, we received the devastating diagnosis that she had an aggressive, late-stage brain tumor. Now, she is fighting for her life against stage IV brain cancer.

My Mom’s Story

For more than ten years, my mom worked as a restaurant waitress to single-handedly provide for our family of six. She regularly clocked over 100 hours a week and rarely took any time off in the decade that she spent waiting tables for thousands of customers. She taught herself the little English that she knows from memorizing menu items and took immense pride in being able to bring joy to people’s lives by serving them delicious food. 

For as long as I can remember, my mother’s always been a fighter. When my younger brother was diagnosed with a rare blood condition with no cure called hemophilia, she quickly learned from nurses how to inject medication to allow him to live a normal life. When my father was repeatedly incarcerated for domestic violence and drug addiction, she found ways to provide us safe, healthy, and nurturing environments to grow up in.

My mother has survived homelessness and food insecurity, abuse and assault, and all while raising two kids and caring for her aging parents. Above all else, she’s modeled resilience, strength, and positivity in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles.

Now, she’s facing what she considers to be just another hurdle to overcome: cancer.

What Happened

My family saved money for months to be able to afford to attend my graduation weekend at UCLA. My mom was especially excited — it was her first real vacation in years and it was also her first time visiting California. However, throughout their stay, she began to experience increasingly aggressive migraines that left her bedridden. For years, my mom has had regular headaches and bouts of forgetfulness, but we always thought that it was from her overworking herself at the restaurant.

After she was sent to the ER, we learned that these weren’t normal signs of exhaustion; they were symptoms of an aggressive, late-stage brain tumor called glioblastoma, which has a five-year survival rate of just 5%.

Once my mom was admitted to the hospital, doctors found that her tumor had grown so much that brain matter that should have been in the middle of her head had been pushed all the way to one side. Neurosurgeons had to place a shunt in her brain to relieve the pressure of the swollen mass. In the last month, her condition has quickly deteriorated; she’s been put on breathing tubes, her muscles have withered away, and she's been put on an intense regime of steroids, antibiotics, and other medication.

The Road Ahead

My mom has always been vigorously active, from working as a physical education teacher in China to dashing between tables as a waitress in Michigan. She’ll be transitioning from a fiercely independent lifestyle to one where she’ll need assistance with simple tasks like using the restroom and brushing her teeth.

The initial bill that we received after only one week of hospitalization was almost $148,000. This amount has since tripled and is still growing. Because my mom is not a California resident, we’ve faced immense challenges with enrolling her for any form of emergency health insurance or financial support, even with the help of social workers and financial counselors.

We’re extremely fortunate that she was able to undergo a partial tumor removal surgery at the Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center. This intensive procedure removed a piece of the tumor that was the size of a hand. Now, she’ll need extensive physical and speech therapy, as well as months ahead of chemotherapy and radiation. If we’re lucky, she’ll be able to qualify for clinical trials. All of these amount to significant out-of-pocket costs.

As the only immediate family member besides my sixteen-year-old brother who can speak fluent English and drive, I’ll be my mother’s primary caregiver in the months (and, hopefully, years) to come. I’ve decided to put my dream of attending law school on the backburner because our priority now is to give my mom the best life possible with the best treatment possible.

It’s a daunting task, but one that I also consider an honor: to be able to take care of the person who has protected and nurtured us through some of life’s roughest storms.

But to be honest, I can’t do this alone.

In addition to overseeing my mom’s medical needs, I’ll also be caring for my elderly grandparents, raising my brother and helping him with applying to college in the fall, paying for our living expenses, finishing up classes for my degree, and completing a fellowship.

Sometimes, it almost feels like too much. There’s nothing more terrifying than watching the person you love most slowly wither away before your eyes. This last month has been the most challenging time of my life and my biggest fear is that my mom won’t be able to get the care she needs because we can’t afford to foot the medical bill, or don’t have the money to get gas for the car.

I’ve spent days writing and rewriting this plea for help. Any amount of support, whether it’s a single dollar or sharing this GoFundMe, would be immensely appreciated by my family.

Thank you for helping me give my mom a fighting chance.