My Cancer Diagnosis/Plea for Help
Many of you have noticed that I have not been writing many articles this year outside of my monthly forecasts. And I have stopped creating the annual reports.
Well, I am sorry to say that it was because of some health challenges I have been facing, the most serious of which is a recent diagnosis of throat cancer.
I have been looking deeply into the physical, psychological and karmic reasons as to why I have been confronted with this now. This kind of analysis is something I have been doing for clients in these kinds of situations for many years. Now I have to ‘take my own medicine’ as it were, and I could share some of those thoughts and insights.
One pretty direct message came when I was sitting in the front seat of my truck in front of my doctor’s office. I had had a biopsy for a growth on my neck. They then called me and asked me to come in person to talk to the doctor to hear the results. I know that this was therefore not going to be good news.
I had been ‘hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.’ Sitting in my truck, before going in to hear the diagnosis, I decided to do what is called ‘bibliomancy’ where you open a book for a message. The Master Hilarion says that angels will arrange the page for you. I have in the past received amazing, direct messages doing this.
On this day all I had with me was a Sedona magazine where I used to advertise my services. This magazine generally focuses on channeled information.
Here is the paragraph my eyes fell upon:
“The answer is that this invasion was ultimately recognized and accepted in the council of enlightened beings that holds the purpose and plan for all life on Earth, as part of the higher plan. This decision was made after much careful debate in the Shamballa council with the assumption that struggling against these dark forces would strengthen and empower humanity. “
That kind of floored me.
This experience has already humbled and deepened me as a person. As they say “You no longer sweat the small stuff.”
I can say I am not terribly afraid to die. I don’t particularly want to suffer a lot on the way but even that, if I have to, I accept it must be part of my karmic releasing. Saturn recently went over my Scorpio Ascendant of which Hilarion says:
The Scorpio Ascendant is given not to add these traits necessarily, but rather to cause the individual to attract into his life, by the natural laws of affinity, certain experiences of a karmic nature which will allow him to set aside a portion of the large karmic burden which he usually brings into incarnation with him.”
He seems to be saying that those of us with Scorpio Rising have taken on a little more than the average amount of karma in this life.
My greatest regret if I am to leave this body sooner than I expected, besides the personal sadness with my family and friends, is to not having finished some of the books I was hoping to leave behind before I pass from this earth plane. I fear not being able to pass on the skills and knowledge I have accumulated through the course of my life.
In fact one of the symbolic messages I feel coming from this is that it is time for me to stop focusing on speaking my truth in lectures, workshops and readings and to finally go more into the retreat space I have been craving to go more into writing. Of course I would still do readings by phone, but I would like to stop traveling so much.
I also had the vision of creating a part-time guest house/retreat center here at my place in the mountains of Northeast Washington 10 miles from the Canadian Border.
Well, obviously, with this recent diagnosis I have a whole other trip to deal with .
I have been looking into various options. And of course everybody has already been sharing with me their favorite miracle or easy cure for cancer.
I have already invested into two inert gas therapy devices recommended by Hilarion to dispel the energy fields or entities that enter the body to create the rapid cell multiplication of cancer.
The fact remains that the 5-year survival rate for head and neck cancer is pretty low.
I would prefer to avoid the conventional treatment of surgery, radiation and chemotherapy, sometimes disparagingly referred to as ‘slash, burn and poison,’ although I am not closed to the possibility that that is the better route for me.
In my search for an alternative treatment I have been most encouraged by what I have read about a clinic in Germany, the Klinik St. George, which is connected to an actual hospital and uses both conventional and alternative treatments. The alternative treatments seem to be the most comprehensive and advanced that I have seen.
My thoughts are that I would really like to give the alternative treatment a chance first, and if that doesn’t work, I would be in a better position to accept the conventional treatments.
Either way I am obviously entering a pretty challenging period of my life. The clinic in Germany figures you need to stay 3 to 8 weeks on average, which they do not fully determine until after you arrive.
It costs around $5000 a week to stay there. To be honest my financial situation cannot support that kind of expense. I was only recently encouraged to even look in this direction because of a dear friend’s offer of some financial support to partially help me. This made me think of this ‘Go Fund Me’ opportunity to help to raise some of the additional funds I will be needing.
I have long felt that the internet, and especially these collective group sharings and connections are an indication of the emergence of the coming Aquarian Age, an age of brother/sisterhood and group consciousness.
The fact is, even if I decide to go the conventional route, I will have some significant expenses and my physical state will be pretty whacked. I, obviously, won’t be using my voice for a long time and so will be unable to do readings to earn my living for some time.
I would really like to be able to take advantage of the more natural option, but I am afraid that I would need some help to be able to do that without creating a whole lot of more stress on myself than I already have.
I do hope that I can get through this, live long enough to write some books and, hopefully, serve many of you in my guest house my famous home-made spaghetti and maybe go kayaking down the Kettle River.
Love and Blessings,
Here is a link to an article I wrote about the Astrological Chart of Donald Trump as well as a special offer to those of you who donated to my Gofundme appeal last winter.
I hope you enjoy the article and thanks,
Dear Friends and Clients,
Today is President’s Day and, although I have mixed feelings about entering my own commentaries into the frenzy of our Presidential politics, I can already see some quite interesting Hilarion Astrological pronouncements regarding the candidates which can serve in enlightening us as to that proverbial ‘ method to the madness’ which I will be sharing with you in the days to come.
I am happy to say that I am feeling well enough today to sit down and share some thoughts and feelings with you as a completion of my medical ‘blog’ as it were.
As I look back on these past few months, engaged in treatments for throat cancer, I feel like I have just come through Homer’s Odyssey or the 12 Labors of Hercules. It feels like a series of peaks and valleys, coming up against one crisis, making through it in time to meet the next one.
As I stated in an earlier newsletter, two weeks into my radiation and chemotherapy treatment I came down with the most severe pain I have ever had in my life, appearing in my upper arms and shoulders. It went undiagnosed for a week and a half until some pimples appeared on my right upper arm providing the clarifying diagnosis of shingles.
It took some weeks for that pain to subside so I was on round-the-clock pain medications to get through it.
I am happy to say that, in addition to my conventional doctors, I am also consulting with a very good naturopathic doctor here in Seattle who had already prescribed the lysine, Echinacea and enzymes that many of you recommended to me for treating shingles.
He also agreed that there was no way I could avoid taking the conventional anti-viral drug at a pretty high dosage as this shingles episode was occurring in the middle of chemotherapy and radiation treatment.
The combination of all of these drugs and treatments, however, brought me to where I was so nauseous that even taking my anti-nausea pill made me vomit. All I could get down were sips of hot water. That was a bad weekend. By Sunday I was again in the Emergency Room, this time to get fluid and intra-venous anti-nausea medications.
It was a slow recovery from that as the fatigue from the chemo and radiation started coming on stronger as well. I think CBD oil did help in that regard.
I had done pretty well at protecting my neck, tongue and throat with natural, herbal preparations but then, just as the nausea started to back off, those parts of my body got hit pretty hard. First there emerged sores on my tongue and an inflamed throat to where it was very painful to talk or swallow. There was the question as to whether I would need a feeding tube or not.
Then, in the last week of radiation, and worsening in the two weeks following, my neck became inflamed with second/third degree burns, which are only now starting to subside.
As you might imagine I have lost a lot of weight through all of this. Those of you who know me know that I don’t normally have a lot of weight to lose. I’ve been saying: “If anyone knows a casting director looking for someone to play a starving refugee, I think I could easily play that part.”
As a result of losing so much weight, however, my radiation doctor was uncertain if the previous measurements taken were still reliably accurate for locating the proper angle for the radiation beams, especially for the last week of treatment which is much more specifically focused. So, two weeks before the end of radiation treatment they did another CAT scan, and yes it did show how my weight loss had shifted things a bit.
It also revealed, however, as far as my doctor could tell, both tumors, the primary one in my throat, and the secondary one in my lymph node, were totally gone.
Later, I asked my doctor if that was just moderately good news or if it was really good news. He said it was really good news, especially as we had seen the secondary tumor in my lymph node start to reduce after only two weeks into treatment.
He said radiation treatment is more questionable when it takes all the way until the end of treatment, or even two or three weeks after treatment for the tumor(s) to finally give up and dissolve.
He said he could almost say that he is 100% convinced the cancer will not return. So that is the positive prognosis I mentioned earlier this month.
Now, I could attribute my good results to the fact that I had used Hilarion’s recommended Inert Gas Therapy beam therapy to dislodge the astral entity he says is the actual way in which cancer is created in the body; as well as my having worked seriously on the psychological/karmic issues involved in that entity being given access to my body by my Spiritual Guides who are responsible for my personal evolution.
I can also feel, and express heartfelt gratitude for all of the positive love, support and focused healing energies I have felt from so many of you. You have definitely made this odyssey much easier to endure and I am sure those healing energies sent my way have had their positive effect.
And even though I have been given a space here where I could be comfortably alone and go into the deep isolation I feel I needed for myself as I went through this intense journey, I am still really grateful to my brother who came out from Florida to help me as my cook, chauffeur and dishwasher during the last two weeks of my treatment. And I am grateful to my other friends here in Seattle who have been helping me out in various ways and, again, to all of you out there.
In fact, for this final log of my medical journey I decided to, once again, perform ‘bibliomancy,’ opening a book for a message. This time I opened a book sent to me to help in my journey by my dear friend Claudia in Portland. The book is called ‘The Book of Awakening,’ by Mark Nepo.
Dear Friends and Clients,
I apologize for the tardiness of this newsletter. Actually in recent days I wasn’t sure if I would get it together at all.
I have just completed 3 weeks of chemotherapy and radiation for my throat cancer which, so far, I have been handling quite well. I accepted that I just have to surrender and take the anti-nausea drugs for the chemo, and using licorice root extract in glycerin has really kept my throat from burning too bad from the radiation up to now.
My weakened immune system during the chemo, however, has enabled a super intense case of shingles to emerge with incredible nerve pain in my shoulders and upper arms. It was undiagnosed for a week and a half. One night the pain went, on a scale of 1 – 10, to 10, and had me rushing to the hospital emergency room where they gave me a shot of dilaudid, one of the most powerful legal painkillers.
Most of that time I was admittedly frantically trying to figure out how to escape the pain, but when I was finally just sitting in the ER waiting for the doctor to come give me a shot I sat and did my Vipassana meditation, where you observe sensation without reacting to it or identifying with it as you, and I saw that I was still able, even with that level 10 burning nerve pain, to reach a place of calm, unidentified, equanimous calm observation. So, I have a new yardstick measure of how much pain I can actually handle.
It does make me think how, with my Scorpio Rising, my life always has to make things a little more intense. Actually, what is really pressing upon me is Neptune moving into my 4th House and opposing my Virgo Midheaven, at the same time that Saturn is squaring my Midheaven from my First house. I also have the Pluto/Uranus Square engaging my Neptune/Uranus natal Square. It all is making for for interesting times for sure!
They now have me on morphine and oxycodone, which definitely has me pretty loopy, but I think it has made this month’s forecast a little more imaginative than usual. I hope you enjoy it.
PS: I am taking herbal and nutritional support to fight the shingles virus and help my nerves heal.
My thanks again to all of you who sent personal responses to my recent letters.* My apologies for not yet getting back to you personally but, as you might imagine, recent days have been a bit challenging. I still hope to catch up with you all soon.
Love and Blessings to Everyone in this New Year.
* You can go to my website to see the newsletter in the next days: www.spiritualcompany.com
Dear Stephan, What a journey!!! So glad you are able to take something for your pain. You are in my thoughts and prayers daily. May this new year free you from the cancer. Many hugs, Trish