The Fiddler Needs Help
I've spent money on medical bills that I have needed to spend on other things - like new tires for my car and a legal windshield.
UPDATE: 5/13/13 I had an MRI done of my neck last week. It turns out that I have some bulging disks in my neck that could be the cause of the pain, inflaming my nerves and muscles to the point of triggering migraines. My doctor has referred me to a pain clinic to talk about the option of receiving shots in my neck into the spaces around the disks.
Please, if you have a few extra bucks, I promise I won't waste it. Any donations will go toward paying medical bills and seeking treatment.
Here's the link to my blog
where you can learn more about my daily life.
If you have questions, please, just ask.
Thank you for your kind heart.
Weaning down and withdrawing from cymbalta is excruciating. Withdrawal symptoms can be deadly. So I'm weaning very slowly. It's frustrating that I can't simply stop taking this medication. Instead, each day, twice a day, I open the small capsule and remove a certain number of micro-beads of the drug, put the capsule back together, and swallow the remaining medication. I have a long road ahead of me. The wean must be slow or the withdrawal symptoms will become too much to manage.
Your support means a lot to me. Prayers and notes are much appreciated. I know I have a strong and loving community around me. I'm calling on you, my community, now to step up and reach out hour hand to me. Let me know that I'm in your prayers. Offer to take my child for a hike so I can rest. Send me a short email telling me that you're rooting for me. Encourage me. Let me know that you're still around, even though I'm not very present. I notice. And it makes a huge difference for me.
The migraines are still quite frequent. I try my best to push through and function as best i can. I'm still doing GAPS to try to heal my body. I am low on hope about it though. I am so, so tired of the migraines that the thought of GAPS taking years to help me heal is pretty depressing. I want help NOW! Anyway . . .
Life goes on. My little boy is doing well in Kindergarten. I'm so proud of him! Soon he will be able to read better than I do.
I've learned how to make soap! It's a fun hobby and it's now paying for itself. I also used my soap to do some fund raising for sponsorship of a child to receive a quality weighted product from a company that creates them. That felt pretty good.
It looks like we're turning our acre into a little farm. In addition to our organic gardens, we now have a dozen chickens that give us delicious eggs. And we have 2 silly ducks. They are Huckly Pendleton Duck and Duck Duck. So we have Huck Duck and Duck Duck. They never cease to entertain and I alway laugh when I go out to care for them.
Last week we rescued a tiny baby goat. She was born on a night when it was 20 below zero. Her mama delivered 5 days before the term gestational window. So this premature baby was born on a bitterly cold night and froze solid to the ground. Her eye froze to a metal post. She was thought dead but when she warmed up some, she began to sputter. When I got her, she was 5 days old. She was very weak and couldn't maintain her body temperature yet. Her breathing was labored and raspy. With the help of some kind friends, the little goat, whom we named Ginger, spent the night in an oxygen tent. That greatly helped her premature lungs clear the fluid out and her breathing improved greatly after that. Today we dealt with the frozen eye. Our vet stitched the third eyelid over the injured eyeball to the top lid. We hope to give the eye a chance to heal. She's gained a pound in the 5 days we've had her! She's such a cute little thing!
I've given up on the car. It simply needs more than I can do to maintain it. I don't know where I'll find the money for another car but I do know that this one is pretty close to done.
We've had several money crises in the past month. Our washing machine quit. We bought a new one because we were tired of paying the repair person to come fix it only to have it break again in a few months. I LOVE our new washing machine! It's so big! And so smart!
The other kinda traumatic thing that happened was that our upstairs toilet broke. That was enough to send me into my bedroom closet to hide. It came at the end of a long hard week and I had nothing left. After about half an hour of crying in my closet, I got mad and figured out how to remove the toilet altogether. It's now out on our back porch waiting for me to have the time and energy to do something else with it. We bought a new toilet with money we didn't have. My wife and I figured out how to install it and now we have a new fully functioning toilet! Huge relief! My sweet did most of the installing work. I was just her grunt. But it's done!
I hope nothing else comes up that demands money RIGHT NOW, because we don't have it. At all. And I'm really struggling to find the hope that we can get out of our money woes. It is so hard to live so close to the ground. Someday, right? I hope so.
Anyway, I hope you all are well. Thank you for your ongoing love and support.
Thank you for your ongoing support. I'm lucky to have such a great community of friends.
Right now, I feel depressed and terrified. No reason for the fear really. It's just there.
Darnit, Heidi....it was so great to see you the other day in such great spirits...you looked awesome and, I might add, a tad bit hopeful! AND, you were here to help ME for Pete's sake. I only wish I could return your kindness. You are an amazing woman, a super mommy, a wonderful wife, and a stellar human being. But most of all you are a survivor, and I just know you're gonna beat this. You deserve it, dammit. Xo
Dammit...I wish I could help. I really, really do. Good luck, heidi.