Ben Roy Family
Many have asked where they can send gifts to remember a precious daddy, husband, son, brother and friend - Ben Roy after the sudden and tragic death following a car accident.
I am Ben's stepmom and Jim Roy's wife and I have set up a fund here to help people who desire to help this young and bereaved family.
Our hearts are broken in the loss of this tender man; who loved Jesus and impacted so many in living a life that reflected the gentle tenderness of a father who loves his family dearly; as our Messiah loves each of us.
Ben and May are spiritual giants; living their faith and trusting a personal God and savior; and May is trusting Him now in her walk through this unexpected part of the path.
May lost her daddy when she was twelve; and the pain of his passing still brings fresh tears; she conveys to their sons that life will go on and be abundant even after such a painful loss. Her strength and her serene spirit are so beautiful to see, as she continues to give thanks to the One who is holding her so closely. He is our Hope.
Eli is seven, and in second grade. Ari is turning four on Wednesday August 31; though Ben planned his birthday party which was held yesterday. Jax is the littlest angel, born May 15, 2016.
Before Jax came, May made the decision to leave her career to raise her three boys and they downsized their home so that Ben's income could sustain them. This fund will be used to offset the sudden loss of income and provide a bridge into the new plans that we are all trusting in the Lord for provision.
So many beautiful stories and expressions of the love and heartbreak of the loss are on Ben's facebook page; and I encourage any and all memories to be made there or here on this tribute page.
Jim's sister, Suzanne wrote something that resonated in the moments after she heard the news, and I am sharing it here.
" Our suffering Savior receives the ragged fabric of our pain-filled worship and cries with us. He is our Hope."
and He is.
A celebration of Ben's life will be held on Friday, September 2 at Crosspoint Church 28753 Via Montezuma in Temecula, at 6:30 PM with a viewing for Family at 4:30 and for others at 5:15. There will be a reception following the service.
Go Fund Me required that I remove the email addresses and contact phone numbers. send a private message if you would like the list.
Time for ACTION: JUSTICE FOR BEN ROY
Hello my name is Bill Hughes my birthday is coming up I will be 64 our son Ben be would be 40.
Ben is dead.
He was killed by Augustin Medina 6 months ago. You see Ben was just a couple of miles from his home in Menifee CA, stopped in line for traffic at a RED light. Mr. Medina drove the truck he was in into the back of Ben’s truck at over 50 MPH!
Mr. Medina Killed Ben.
He did not try to Stop, he did not try to swerve out of the way…
He hit Ben’s truck with so much force that it killed Ben,
it pushed Ben’s truck into a panel truck and two other vehicles. It does not matter if Mr Median was high, texting ,or just not paying attention –
he killed Ben.
The police investigation is over and
in the Riverside County DA’s office is preparing charges if any against Mr. Medina. If you knew Ben and ask us at the time of his death what you could do…THIS is the time for action. Please support us especially May (Ben’s wife) to demand JUSTICE for Ben.
THE DA Mike Hestrin
Riverside County DA's Office
The official Instagram account for the Riverside County District Attorney's Office, the prosecutorial agency for Riverside County.
If you knew Ben or knew someone you could call at any time and he would help you please help us DEMAND Justice for BEN.
please share this!!!!
Thanks BEN's DAD
There are 492 people who have, on this site, walked in prayer and support with our family; and many others on Facebook and in our churches; neighborhoods and extended families around the world. We have felt the loving arms of Jesus in the words of support and tears of shared anguish and the blessing of gifts and cards for May and the boys.
She has asked me several times to withdraw this campaign; and this is NOT a plea for any more support - her words are that she has been given the comfort many times over as the Lord led us all to replace the income of Ben for a season or seasons, removing the worry of the immediate future.
I did not withdraw it because I want to ask for continued PRAYER COVER; and if I can disable the donate button and just keep the update portion I will do that. THANK YOU ALL for the 6 months of standing with us.
Now we have finally received an incident report. Actually it has been a number of days - but the dreadful visit back to the moments before and during the accident and hospital time could only be done in small doses.
Our faith is in the eternal, not in the stuff of earth and the laws of man. We are not to spend time in bitterness, anger or regret. We look forward to a time when we do not fight our own flesh and spirit as we seek to control our lives and find answers. The truth is that we desire mercy, but we desire justice.
The man driving the heavy white truck with a trailer was using his cellphone and dialing out; seconds before the accident. His blood toxicology was positive for marijuana and he was in excess of the speed limit on Scott Road. It was a clear August day, no precipitation, 10 mile visibility, dry roads, in the mid 80's and there was a line of cars at a full stop awaiting the light at Scott Road. Ben was in his truck, fully stopped, the last in that line. No brake marks were found on the road; only skid marks from the impact of a truck & trailer fully moving forward at about 57 MPH into Ben's truck; pushing it in and up and out into oncoming lanes; and into the four cars ahead of Ben at the light. The driver then dialed out again, two calls in the minutes after the collision. The driver then got out and walked around, among the people he had collided with. At some point he went to a hospital, complaining of pain. He admitted to an officer there that he used marijuana the night before; he also said he was not on his cellphone, he said he braked and the brakes failed, he said his cellphone sometimes makes calls on its own. The report is not thorough; but it clearly shows he lied and told partial truths. We have the phone numbers he dialed; before and after he rear-ended Ben.
We have knowledge that there were no brakes applied, no brake problems, and the amount of drugs in his blood was far more recent than the night before.
We thought that there would be a trial in which all the evidence would be examined, weighed and a verdict of justice reached. We never thought for a moment in the last 6 months that there might be a District Attorney who might choose to bring a wrist-slap charge of "Negligent driving" - a misdemeanor - in spite of excessive speed; influence of drugs and cell-phone use while driving. These three charges were made at the scene, as the jaws of life were working to extract Ben from the crumbled wreckage of his much-loved truck.
Yes, the flesh takes over even as I relay facts that are words from the documented moments that changed our lives.
May has been the sole support of three little boys; two grieving, angry and confused, and the third at 3 months on that fateful day is too young to know grief; other than those ragged and lonely glimpses he sees deep in the night, on his mom's face as she nurses him.
We believe there should be a process that would give closure; a process where the rules of our laws are applied and the people feel protected from those who break the laws. We believe there is comfort in knowing that the man who severed Ben from this earth and from all who loved him will face a process of revealing truth of his actions, and enough penalty to prevent him from repeating those actions. We believe that others who say they can multi-task with a phone and drug use while driving should know that such actions have consequences.
It is proven every day across the world that when you are soft on crime you encourage more of it. We intend to cry out to the legal system for the process of examination to provide the family better answers, and a respectful closure to the nightmare that began in the minutes before 4PM on August 25, 2016.
Last week May took a hand-made sign with the name of the DA on it; and stood outside the courtroom where he was; with the three boys; and gained a moment of his time. He told her he would wait a week to file his charge of misdemeanor/negligence; that he would give the family a meeting and hear our voices before he files the charges.
Please PRAY that there will be a dispensation of justice, and mercy, and pray for the Lord to lead us into a closure that is His will and satisfies the questions that are unanswered.
Thanks to all for your loving support of Ben Roy's family, thank you for prayers and our own prayer is the the Lord responds with His mighty comfort to each of you as He has responded to us.
A post to my husband. -
Babe, I'm still in shock. I try to be happy for the kids and show a brave face most of the time, but I can't believe I just celebrated a Christmas and new years eve with our families but without you. I've been crying for a few hours now, as I sit at my mom's looking at the beautiful snow that fell over night. I so wish you were by my side to enjoy it with. You were my everything, the best thing that has ever happened to me, life is just moving on without us. Thank you for taking care of us the way you did, I'm here for the boys in ways I couldn't have imagined and it's all for you! You would be so proud of Eli having patience with Ari as he is processing everything much slower and only now talking about it a lot. And you would love to see how much they both love on me since you were the one who taught them how to. Eli writes me little love notes and Ari tells me I'm beautiful all the time. I'm so blessed. It's hard to watch sweet Jax grow up without you, I cry on his month markers, but he is such a blessing. God knew what He was doing when He gave him to us!
I've made some major life decisions without you because I think moving to an apartment will make things easier. I don't like doing it but feel getting away from that street is necessary. I miss you like crazy and am really only starting to understand you are not coming home. Keeping you forever and for always, love May.
Jesus, please comfort me now and give me the strength to better love on and have patience with our boys. Please do the same for others that are missing our Benjamin. Amen.
In the months that have passed there was a child's 4th birthday, a 10th wedding anniversary, a 40th birthday, a Thanksgiving with a planned family retreat at a Christian camp afterward, and now Christmas.
Thankfully May and the boys have a large loving family, in Texas, in Washington, Georgia and of course in California. The family of four are visiting both Texas and Washington this holiday; where May and the boys will be surrounded by loving cousins, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, and grandparents.
There is simply no substitute in times of pain, loss and healing for the love of family.
The friends who continue to reach out in love and prayer are such a strong force that are helping keep these lives moving forward, inch by inch, and comforted on the worst days that people know and pray and care.
Thank you to those who have recently visited this page and have given gifts, and left a thoughtful word here; and to those who have sent cards, and left messages and phone calls to remind them they are not forgotten; Ben is not forgotten, his special love for others was dynamic and lives on in memories shared.
May your families all reflect on this meaningful season and the One who came into this world as an innocent baby; to give us all a gift, undeserved. He continues to hold our hearts tenderly in loss, and He purposes our lives in hope.
Merry Christmas and the most blessed of New Year, 2017.
A Note From Ben Roy That Was Left Behind By Jack Robertson 3:15am CST 8-31-16 To my dearest love ones, I arrived in heaven today. An angel came and took my hand, and led me on my way. She brought me here to heaven, To dwell with the Lord above, Where there is no more pain or sorrow, only happiness,joy and love. I did not want to leave you, i did not want to go. I love you all so dearly, More than you'll ever know. I know your heart is aching, and your eyes filled with tears. But God has been good to me, In my life all these years. I wish so much you wouln't cry, The way you did today. For no one unto earth, Was ever meant to stay. But don't think of me as gone away, We're never far apart. For every morning,noon and night, I am right there in your heart. The best advise that i could give? Live each as if its your last. You can't change what you say or do, Once they're in the past. Your time on earth is limited, So be careful what you do. Remember hugs and kisses, Goodbye's and I love You's So now its time to say goodbye, From Heaven far above. But please always remember, You have my eternal love. And when it's time for you to go, Please do not be alarmed. For I'll be waiting patiently, Right here, with open arms....... ............................................................................................................................ I Will Miss My Friend Ben Roy, But I Know I Will See Him Again. My Thoughts, Prayers And Support Our With The Family And Many Friends That Ben Roy Touched While He Was Here. Tomorrow I Will Be The Engineer Of A Special Union Pacific Railroad Unit Train And As I Go Through The Crossings, I Will Give 4 Short Horns After Each Crossings To Honor Ben Roy And His Family. Gone To Soon.
May God's goodness and love be your strength. We love you all so much. "Hallelujah tis done, Ben believed on the son, he's washed in the blood of the crucified one." Jim often sang this song and I find hope in the love of a Savior that promises a great reunion. My heart breaks for May and the boys, the Roy family, and all the friends that have loved Ben and his family so well. We will be faithful to pray over you and ask the Lord to make his presence tangible and his provision mighty.
My husband and I were both childhood friends of Ben. He was my first friend I made when I moved to Ramona in third grade. I was very shy and he made me feel welcome in a new school and town. I'll never forget him. His smile was one of a kind. My husband knew him through church and we have photos of both of them when they were younger. My heart breaks for May, his three young children, his family and dear friends. By the outpouring of support for his family through this account, social media posts, etc, , there is no question that Ben touched so many people during his life here on earth. Keep smiling up there Ben....it's contagious!!
god damn 70 grand!!!
Dear May, I just read your "thank you". I do understand your pain on some level. I too lost my husband in a similar way 12 years ago. While the pain is crushing, Jesus also got me through it. You are doing the right thing. Just take it day by day, talk, cry and pray. I'm praying for you and will continue to do so. God bless you and your family.
What a beautiful commentary on the path that your family is on. I pray for May, the boys and your entire family. I love how you compare this to the intersection...it truly is. And choosing to grieve and face what lies ahead while looking and reflecting on your blessings is a gift of comfort in and of itself. God bless you all.
So sorry may :( I know you are surrounded by love but this isn't how I saw anything going :( God is good tho we may not be able to see his plan now but he has one! Meanwhile I know mama Santa is loving having him in Heaven with her .