DeSean's big hug :-)
Donation protected
My name is Diana. I work in the Iowa City school district, and have for many years.
Eight years ago, a cheerful & vibrant student named DeSean Martin came into my life. Over time, I began to know DeSean on a deeper level than simply classroom interaction, and started to communicate on a regular basis with mom, Carrie.
Carrie struggled with a variety of health concerns, and her other son, Neiman, is profoundly handicapped. He is nonverbal and a quadraplegic. The intense level of care needed for Neiman, and occasionally Carrie herself, led DeSean to take on the role of caretaker. At eleven years old, he sometimes missed school to assist with getting his mom and brother to various medical appointments, and he was proficient at getting Neiman onto and off of the bus for school each day. DeSean gave up many childhood activities to help at home, and he always had a cheerful attititude.
DeSean first came into my family when he was eleven years old as well. His brother was having surgery in Des Moines, and we were traveling there for a baseball game my son was in, so I offered to take DeSean to visit his brother and mom. A month later, Carrie was taken to the hospital one day, and the home health nurse called to see if there was anyone who could stay with DeSean, as he had come home from school to find her gone. He stayed at my home for the first time, and immediately had a fan club in my children and husband. If you know DeSean, you'll understand. His sweet dispostion and infectious laugh make him tough to resist.
By the time DeSean was in the 7th grade, his brother Neiman had to be placed in a care facility. This was a difficult transition for DeSean; who felt a paternal, in additon to brotherly, connection to Neiman. It also shrunk the family to the two of them; DeSean and Carrie.
In the years since, DeSean has often been a part of my family; for a day, a week, or just a quick visit. We love him and he knows he is always welcome. However, the bond DeSean has with his mother was something special. He saw every success and every aspiration as an opportunity to make her proud. I cannot think of a time when he had reached a goal, without saying he did so for his mom. His success in school was the primary focus of her concerns, as academics have not come easily to DeSean. However, I've not seen a student work harder to push through difficult situations, and overcome barriers, than he has. At every milestone, he credited Carrie for pushing him to keep going. And she did. As he has told me, waking up for school might be difficult, but not half as bad as the hollering he would endure if he wasn't up in time for the bus! This made sleeping in or playing hooky a less attractive option, to say the least, and kept DeSean moving in the right direction.
This school year, DeSean has had to work particularly hard. As a senior at City high, it was important for DeSean to graduate with his class. However, the two of them were now living in North Liberty. In order to get to school each day, DeSean now had to catch a 6:58 am bus, go downtown, switch busses, and get to school. In the afternoon, he had to wait two hours downtown, to catch the only outgoing bus back to North Liberty. For a while, DeSean simply stayed with a good friend in Iowa City, to simplify getting to and from school, and in order to have part-time work after school. This was so difficult for Carrie; she missed him terribly while he was away. But she understood the importance of it and did not want to stand in his way. After some time, DeSean decided to leave work, and the easier schedule, to be back with his mom. He had missed her fiercely as well, though he hadn't wanted her to worry about him.
Carrie and DeSean will always be a package deal to me. Together in their small home, teasing one another, butting heads, and being connected in a way that small families so often do. In many ways, they had only each other, and they looked out for one another above all.
Last Tuesday, Carrie passed away unexpectedly in her sleep. DeSean came home to find her on Wednesday afternoon. His world will never be the same.
He is with me now, and we are his family. I'm not foolish enough to think that we can ever replace the love and bond he had with his mother, and I know that his life will be different without her in it. He will walk on to the stage and graduate on May 21st, and I will wish with every fiber in my being that she was there to see him. I believe she is with him, and will be so on the day he graduates, still, we humans long for that physical presence to assure us.
DeSean has reached an incredible milestone, and one that he has worked hard for. Please help him acquire the financial ability to be able to take this success and move forward. In the coming months, DeSean will need to find transportation, a place to live, and help in paying monthly bills. He plans to attend Kirkwood college in Iowa City and work part-time if possible.
I intend to set up a trust for DeSean with any collected funds, which can be used to offset all of the expenses I've mentioned, plus many I'm certain I haven't anticipated. I would also be requesting assistance to help cover funeral arrangements, but the good people at Gay & Ciha have astounded us with their generosity of spirit and true kindness. I can't thank them enough.
DeSean is embarking on an exciting new journey; I am heartbroken that this journey will be without Carrie, but in the same way that I know she is with him, I believe that we can join together and show DeSean in a very real way, that though his mother is gone, he is far from alone. In fact, we might collectively be the biggest family DeSean could ever imagine!
Please donate any amount if you feel led to do so. This financial help will get DeSean where he needs to go in the months and years to come. As always has been the case, he will make his mother proud.
Eight years ago, a cheerful & vibrant student named DeSean Martin came into my life. Over time, I began to know DeSean on a deeper level than simply classroom interaction, and started to communicate on a regular basis with mom, Carrie.
Carrie struggled with a variety of health concerns, and her other son, Neiman, is profoundly handicapped. He is nonverbal and a quadraplegic. The intense level of care needed for Neiman, and occasionally Carrie herself, led DeSean to take on the role of caretaker. At eleven years old, he sometimes missed school to assist with getting his mom and brother to various medical appointments, and he was proficient at getting Neiman onto and off of the bus for school each day. DeSean gave up many childhood activities to help at home, and he always had a cheerful attititude.
DeSean first came into my family when he was eleven years old as well. His brother was having surgery in Des Moines, and we were traveling there for a baseball game my son was in, so I offered to take DeSean to visit his brother and mom. A month later, Carrie was taken to the hospital one day, and the home health nurse called to see if there was anyone who could stay with DeSean, as he had come home from school to find her gone. He stayed at my home for the first time, and immediately had a fan club in my children and husband. If you know DeSean, you'll understand. His sweet dispostion and infectious laugh make him tough to resist.
By the time DeSean was in the 7th grade, his brother Neiman had to be placed in a care facility. This was a difficult transition for DeSean; who felt a paternal, in additon to brotherly, connection to Neiman. It also shrunk the family to the two of them; DeSean and Carrie.
In the years since, DeSean has often been a part of my family; for a day, a week, or just a quick visit. We love him and he knows he is always welcome. However, the bond DeSean has with his mother was something special. He saw every success and every aspiration as an opportunity to make her proud. I cannot think of a time when he had reached a goal, without saying he did so for his mom. His success in school was the primary focus of her concerns, as academics have not come easily to DeSean. However, I've not seen a student work harder to push through difficult situations, and overcome barriers, than he has. At every milestone, he credited Carrie for pushing him to keep going. And she did. As he has told me, waking up for school might be difficult, but not half as bad as the hollering he would endure if he wasn't up in time for the bus! This made sleeping in or playing hooky a less attractive option, to say the least, and kept DeSean moving in the right direction.
This school year, DeSean has had to work particularly hard. As a senior at City high, it was important for DeSean to graduate with his class. However, the two of them were now living in North Liberty. In order to get to school each day, DeSean now had to catch a 6:58 am bus, go downtown, switch busses, and get to school. In the afternoon, he had to wait two hours downtown, to catch the only outgoing bus back to North Liberty. For a while, DeSean simply stayed with a good friend in Iowa City, to simplify getting to and from school, and in order to have part-time work after school. This was so difficult for Carrie; she missed him terribly while he was away. But she understood the importance of it and did not want to stand in his way. After some time, DeSean decided to leave work, and the easier schedule, to be back with his mom. He had missed her fiercely as well, though he hadn't wanted her to worry about him.
Carrie and DeSean will always be a package deal to me. Together in their small home, teasing one another, butting heads, and being connected in a way that small families so often do. In many ways, they had only each other, and they looked out for one another above all.
Last Tuesday, Carrie passed away unexpectedly in her sleep. DeSean came home to find her on Wednesday afternoon. His world will never be the same.
He is with me now, and we are his family. I'm not foolish enough to think that we can ever replace the love and bond he had with his mother, and I know that his life will be different without her in it. He will walk on to the stage and graduate on May 21st, and I will wish with every fiber in my being that she was there to see him. I believe she is with him, and will be so on the day he graduates, still, we humans long for that physical presence to assure us.
DeSean has reached an incredible milestone, and one that he has worked hard for. Please help him acquire the financial ability to be able to take this success and move forward. In the coming months, DeSean will need to find transportation, a place to live, and help in paying monthly bills. He plans to attend Kirkwood college in Iowa City and work part-time if possible.
I intend to set up a trust for DeSean with any collected funds, which can be used to offset all of the expenses I've mentioned, plus many I'm certain I haven't anticipated. I would also be requesting assistance to help cover funeral arrangements, but the good people at Gay & Ciha have astounded us with their generosity of spirit and true kindness. I can't thank them enough.
DeSean is embarking on an exciting new journey; I am heartbroken that this journey will be without Carrie, but in the same way that I know she is with him, I believe that we can join together and show DeSean in a very real way, that though his mother is gone, he is far from alone. In fact, we might collectively be the biggest family DeSean could ever imagine!
Please donate any amount if you feel led to do so. This financial help will get DeSean where he needs to go in the months and years to come. As always has been the case, he will make his mother proud.
Organizer
Diana Langfield-Speer
Organizer
Iowa City, IA
