Crystal's Adoption Fund
Donation protected
Eight years ago, this wonderful little girl named Crystal came into my life. She was born 6 weeks pre-mature with alcohol and traces of meth in her system. Her mother was, at the time, my best friend. I never knew she used drugs, she even hid it so well that Crystal’s father didn’t know either.
At the time Cris was born her parents were homeless and living in another state so I arranged for them to come and stay with my mother and I. A few weeks later when Crystal was released from the NICU they came to live with me.
The father, at the time, resented that fact that I cared for his family better than he did so he moved out several weeks later. The Mother who has several mental health issues (some of which I was aware of) couldn’t cope with caring for a child on her own so my mother and I took over all of Crystal’s care. Providing her with everything she needed.
A few months later the father began calling the mother and suddenly, without warning the mother packed up and moved out taking Crystal with her.
This started a cycle of bouncing the baby between our house and the father’s apartment and for the better part of the next four years Crystal was moved every 3-6 months.
The longest stretch we went without any contact at all was 11 months between Crystal’s 4th and 5th birthday, then the mother suddenly showed up at our door again.
It was at this time we knew there was something seriously wrong with Crystal. We were finally able to get the mother to grant a legal, temporary guardianship to me so we could take Crystal to the doctor and find out what was going on.
At just weeks before her 5th birthday she was totally non-verbal, she walked like a toddler who was just learning to walk, and was still in diapers.
We took her to our family doctor who referred us to a specialist.
She was diagnosed with Autism (PDD-NOS), Reactive attachment Disorder (RAD), and Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) as well as several other emotional issues caused by severe neglect, physical, emotional and sexual abuse.
Mentally she was about 16 months old and the major factor to her drastic delay was the neglect she suffered while with her parents, primarily the mother as the father later told us that he had moved out several months prior, leaving the child alone with her mother.
The doctor that examined her had told us that if one of her biological parents had brought her in he would have called Child Services and had her taken away before they even left the hospital.
She is also deaf in one ear due to damage to her brain, most likely from the pre-natal drug and alcohol use. She shows mild signs of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and she also needed glasses.
For the first 8 months or so we took Crystal to every type of doctor under the sun, she had tubes paced in her ears to halt the chronic, untreated ear infections, she saw physical therapists, speech therapists, occupational therapists and was placed on several medications that she will most likely need for the rest of her life.
At home we did everything we could to make her feel loved a secure but always with that constant fear that the mother would suddenly pack up and move them away again.
After just a few weeks she began to respond to us, she took to potty training right away and was out of diapers in less than two weeks. She started talking, micking names and words she heard while watching TV with us, and now that she could see, she began interacting more with the world.
A year later the mother finally agreed to do a more permanent guardianship for me and had the document notarized while we petitioned the court to make it more legal. 6 months after that, we went to court and with the blessing of both parents; I became Crystal’s fully legal guardian.
The mother moved in and out of our lives a few times, always leaving Crystal with us then, in July of 2014 Crystal’s mother moved out permanantly, leaving her behind. As far as we know she is homeless again, either living on the streets or in a shelter.
In November of 2014, we received a letter from the court, she wanted custody of Crystal. We went to court and saw the father for the first time in several months. He told us that if the court gave Crystal back to her mother he would fight and get her back then he would give her to us again.
When the judge asked if we were willing to give Crystal back to her mother both her father and I said no. The court ordered us to mediation but the mother, not willing to pay for part of it, dropped the case.
She hasn’t called or visited Crystal at all since Christmas of 2014.
In the three years that Crystal has been permanently living with my mother and I. She has progressed from a withdrawn, silent child with the mental capacity of an 16 month old to a vibrant child that can speak very well, and is now mentally closer to a 6 year old.
She goes to school and is right with her peers when it comes to most academics and though she still has issues, mostly from the PDD-NOS, RAD and ODD, almost all the other fears and insecurities are gone.
Recently we were in contact with Crystal’s father and he gave us his blessing to adopt. He told us he had been thinking about it for months and finally came to the conclusion that he won’t ever been in a position to care for her that way she needs.
We began calling various attorneys; however the thousands of dollars it would cost us to hire one and begin the legal paperwork for the adoption is now an obstacle we can’t overcome on our own.
Please help us give this little girl a forever home where we no longer have to live in fear of the mother trying to take her away.
At the time Cris was born her parents were homeless and living in another state so I arranged for them to come and stay with my mother and I. A few weeks later when Crystal was released from the NICU they came to live with me.
The father, at the time, resented that fact that I cared for his family better than he did so he moved out several weeks later. The Mother who has several mental health issues (some of which I was aware of) couldn’t cope with caring for a child on her own so my mother and I took over all of Crystal’s care. Providing her with everything she needed.
A few months later the father began calling the mother and suddenly, without warning the mother packed up and moved out taking Crystal with her.
This started a cycle of bouncing the baby between our house and the father’s apartment and for the better part of the next four years Crystal was moved every 3-6 months.
The longest stretch we went without any contact at all was 11 months between Crystal’s 4th and 5th birthday, then the mother suddenly showed up at our door again.
It was at this time we knew there was something seriously wrong with Crystal. We were finally able to get the mother to grant a legal, temporary guardianship to me so we could take Crystal to the doctor and find out what was going on.
At just weeks before her 5th birthday she was totally non-verbal, she walked like a toddler who was just learning to walk, and was still in diapers.
We took her to our family doctor who referred us to a specialist.
She was diagnosed with Autism (PDD-NOS), Reactive attachment Disorder (RAD), and Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) as well as several other emotional issues caused by severe neglect, physical, emotional and sexual abuse.
Mentally she was about 16 months old and the major factor to her drastic delay was the neglect she suffered while with her parents, primarily the mother as the father later told us that he had moved out several months prior, leaving the child alone with her mother.
The doctor that examined her had told us that if one of her biological parents had brought her in he would have called Child Services and had her taken away before they even left the hospital.
She is also deaf in one ear due to damage to her brain, most likely from the pre-natal drug and alcohol use. She shows mild signs of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and she also needed glasses.
For the first 8 months or so we took Crystal to every type of doctor under the sun, she had tubes paced in her ears to halt the chronic, untreated ear infections, she saw physical therapists, speech therapists, occupational therapists and was placed on several medications that she will most likely need for the rest of her life.
At home we did everything we could to make her feel loved a secure but always with that constant fear that the mother would suddenly pack up and move them away again.
After just a few weeks she began to respond to us, she took to potty training right away and was out of diapers in less than two weeks. She started talking, micking names and words she heard while watching TV with us, and now that she could see, she began interacting more with the world.
A year later the mother finally agreed to do a more permanent guardianship for me and had the document notarized while we petitioned the court to make it more legal. 6 months after that, we went to court and with the blessing of both parents; I became Crystal’s fully legal guardian.
The mother moved in and out of our lives a few times, always leaving Crystal with us then, in July of 2014 Crystal’s mother moved out permanantly, leaving her behind. As far as we know she is homeless again, either living on the streets or in a shelter.
In November of 2014, we received a letter from the court, she wanted custody of Crystal. We went to court and saw the father for the first time in several months. He told us that if the court gave Crystal back to her mother he would fight and get her back then he would give her to us again.
When the judge asked if we were willing to give Crystal back to her mother both her father and I said no. The court ordered us to mediation but the mother, not willing to pay for part of it, dropped the case.
She hasn’t called or visited Crystal at all since Christmas of 2014.
In the three years that Crystal has been permanently living with my mother and I. She has progressed from a withdrawn, silent child with the mental capacity of an 16 month old to a vibrant child that can speak very well, and is now mentally closer to a 6 year old.
She goes to school and is right with her peers when it comes to most academics and though she still has issues, mostly from the PDD-NOS, RAD and ODD, almost all the other fears and insecurities are gone.
Recently we were in contact with Crystal’s father and he gave us his blessing to adopt. He told us he had been thinking about it for months and finally came to the conclusion that he won’t ever been in a position to care for her that way she needs.
We began calling various attorneys; however the thousands of dollars it would cost us to hire one and begin the legal paperwork for the adoption is now an obstacle we can’t overcome on our own.
Please help us give this little girl a forever home where we no longer have to live in fear of the mother trying to take her away.
Organizer
Tisha Carlson
Organizer
Salt Lake City, UT
