Fund Initiative: Legal Abuse

Hello,

First, thank you for visiting this page. Just gaining the knowledge embodied in my campaign contributes to spreading awareness about and is extremely valuable!

The main image is a father's day card from last year my son wrote my fiance (we've been together since he was born).

DISCLOSURE:

I have NO ability to be succinct due to the passion I have about this topic so, just a heads up, if you scroll down, there is a great article...Sorry in advance but, please stick with me and continue reading on...

BACKGROUND ISSUE:

" Restraining orders were born three decades ago in response to a pressing demand from female advocates for a process that allowed at-risk women, particularly victims of domestic violence, to avoid the pain and humiliation of having to take their claims to the police (who may have discounted those claims or even criticized women for making them) and go straight to a judge, that is, to have the opportunity to quickly and quietly explain their hardships in a situation of security and minimal scrutiny.

This resource was formed based on the social climate that predominated in the 1970s and was meant to provide abused women with a discreet and minimally agonizing way to communicate abuse to the court and gain immediate relief from it. It certainly wasn’t on the minds of lawmakers at the time (or anyone else) that restraining orders would one day be applied to routine annoyances or that applicants might fabricate allegations or manipulate a free and convenient process for malicious or selfish ends.

This isn’t 1979, and there no longer exists any conscionable excuse for denying defendants due process of law. This is 2014, and violating defendants’ civil rights and burdening them thereby with criminal imputations for the rest of their lives is cruel and unusual punishment.

It’s vicious."

MY PERSONAL STORY:

My son and I have both been subjected to unbelievable emotional abuse and crafty manipulation at the hands of a narcissistic sociopathic who I thought, until I recently retained a competent attorney experienced with this little-known form of abuse, would continue to make it his job to ensure that we would suffer silently at his hand forever and (my biggest fear) that my son would continue to lose his childhood with each passing day.

I feel ashamed for not realizing the chronic nature of this sooner, wasting my money just responding to the bi-weekly court summons in all different states and counties that he would forum shop to; all the while hoping that he would give up eventually. I didn't realize that I really needed to fight back and stand up for myself because submitting to it just seemed to fuel his increasingly surprising and creative ways he would devise to hurt me. I didn't know what a narcissistic sociopath was or their capabilities!

The offenses were always to hurt me, and I had accepted that so long as it sheltered my son... but eventually he would do things to hurt me by way of our son like deny his medical treatment, threaten every single one of his healthcare providers (paranoid that I had "turned all of our son's doctors against [him]"). Even attempting to break into his psychotherapists office, and much more but, the final straw was physically bringing my son into the court this past August. I've been trying to muster the energy to pick those pieces up for weeks and I still step on shards every turn I make.

10 years of my son's life have passed while I fooled myself into thinking, "maybe this time people will see through him and it'll be over...". Man.....was I wrong!

Now that I really need to make the capital investment to fight back in order to preserve the rest of my son's childhood from being a repeat of the past decade, despite having a respectable career as a nurse, I can't afford it! I didn't realize that eventually I would reach the end of my resources; both financial and emotional energy.

My son has developed emotional and social issues as well as diagnosed anxiety. I sent him to play therapy, music therapy, and psychotherapy to address his heartbreaking poor self-esteem issues. I can't afford to even continue to provide that support as easily either. Because he won't pay child support or work a job where wages are claimed.

I decided, as soon as I left my son's father, that I wanted to become an RN and get my Bachelor's because, as a realist, it made sense to get started on achieving the ability to function  independently understanding that my son's access to opportunities for success in life like college, might be an unsupported effort.

Everything was going great and I was truly headed down the best path to normalcy when, In March of 2010, my senior year at Hopkins, my world was shattered with one phone call from my ex husband stating that he had left with our son and was currently, as we spoke, in his truck and on his way to begin a new life together with our son away from all of our family (including his own as we were raised in the same area).

My most vivid memory of that evening was answering the phone and beginning to ask what time I would be picking our son up the next morning because we had plans for the weekend. Instead I was shocked to hear what I believe to be the worst news that I had ever been given in my life.

During the call he told me that he had made sure to be far enough away before he called me so that no one could stop them after having crossed a state line.

THE FIRST TRIAL:

He obsconded with our son with the honestly delusional assumption that if he had already established a "new life" with our son somewhere else after having already filed for full custody, surely (in his head) the judge would never make an order to remove a child from a school that he just started at, right?

I was awarded primary custody in the trial but it was still bitter sweet.

Although grueling, a fair and thorough 3-day long trial was held in 2010, which I thought would be the best year of my life as I was graduating from Hopkins 2 months after the trial in March. But it was still the worst year of my life. All of the efforts that should have been spent on school and books and studying was instead spent in court.

Thankfully, the director of financial aid gave me a grant from the school to buy my books for the last semester since I had spent every penny I had on representation.

I had to file bankruptcy still being unable to pay student loans, etc. :(. I even had to relinquish my car.

I was still hopeful that I could recover but I was naive to think that just because this trial was well-centered around my son's best interest (as the court had granted him his own "best interest attorney" to evaluate his environment and it's potential impact understanding that a custody decision would surely shape the future for our son) that things were pretty much done until he was 18. That's not how the narcissistic sociopath works apparently.....I've learned that over the past decade.

THE AFTERMATH:

A WHOLE lot has happened in the meantime. Litigation has begun, ended, and even currently pending in different states and counties across the country. 

So far, Red flags were issued through Child Protective Services due to his malicious and unfounded reports that occurred so frequently, the local police have asked him to please stop making false "missing person" reports about our son after they just speak on the phone, etc.

REALIZING I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE:

It's clear that I can no loner absorb the abuse without my son being hurt because our son functions as a "remote" button of mine to push since he is bitter that I am no longer around for him to push them directly in person like when I was 16 and I was restricted from wearing certain things, having certain friends, associating with family, locked in closets, etc.

THIS MUST STOP and I'm not ashamed to say (well, I am a little ashamed to be a burden), but I need help now!

NOTHING CAN CHANGE UNLESS THOSE UNAFFECTED ARE JUST AS OUTRAGED AS THOSE WHO ARE!

It takes a village, they say, and right now, I could use the community support for the best interest of a really great kid that doesn't deserve this.

Most of us can handle quite a bit "settling" for things that we know are wrong but once it affects your child, what do you do?

I guess start a fundraising effort.

MY FUNDING REQUEST:

With extraordinary medical expenses, unpaid child support, lost jobs and wages for attending court SO frequently, I cannot afford the retainer necessary to win this case.

In order to retain this attorney for my custody case, she cannot sign on to it without receiving a retainer first.

She's the only lawyer I've had that GETS IT! She's handled cases like this before when I hadn't even known they occur!

POTENTIAL BENEFIT:

We have a chance to finally see an end to the abuse he has endured his entire life AND START BEING A KID BEFORE HIS CHILDHOOD PASSES HIM BY!

I AM REACHING OUT FOR SUPPORT AND ASKING FOR ANYONE TO PLEASE HELP ME WITH THIS TIME SENSITIVE REQUEST!

THANK YOU - EVERY PENNY DONATED OR SHARING OF THIS PAGE COUNTS! NOTHING IS TOO SMALL OR UNIMPORTANT:

I would like to extend my sincere gratitude for visiting this page, spreading the word, and heart-felt thanks for considering donating ANY amount that you are able to afford. I would like to extend my sincere gratitude for visiting this page, spreading the word, and heart-felt thanks for considering donating ANY amount that you are able to afford.

IF NOTHING ELSE......

PLEASE; if you take nothing else from this, just know that this injustice occurs every single day to people who probably think, like I used to, that they are alone. YOU'RE NOT!

I have linked an amazing article below. Please read it. It explains this kind of abuse in clearer detail than I can.

http://restrainingorderabuse.com/2013/09/03/circumventing-due-process-isnt-just-what-restraining-orders-do-its-what-they-were-designed-to-do/