Help us Live, not just Exist
Donation protected
Live, not just exist!
10 years ago, we lost my sons Father who passed away when my son was just 5, and then we also lost my Daughters Daddy 4 years ago, when my Daughter was only 6. Now im at a loose end here, as i've been trying my hardest for my Children, and due to both of my Partners, and my Childrens Fathers Deaths, i've been Diagnosed with Severe Depression as well as Anxiety Attacks which is very very hard on a day to day basis to cope with.
The reason I've set this up, is to get help from people to help me and my family deal with losing both my children's daddy's as we get no support, help and never have had. I know it is not going to bring them both back, but it may just help us not have to be upset and always depressed.
since losing both my Sons Father and then my Daughters Daddy, ive suffered quite severe from Mental Health issues. and have a fear of leaving my home. I've had real good jobs, which I loved, but living with Mental Health is so hard, and I find it hard to hold a job down due to constant feelings of Panic, Depression and feeling like i need to hide away. I end up using every bit of money we have to get my daughter to and from school, as I cant use public transport incase i have a panic attack, so im trying to save for a car at the moment as it will take the strain off A LOT!!! Weve NEVER had any sort of financial support/help, because with both parents being deceased we can not get any sort of CSA or any Bereavement Allowance...which I find quite disheartening as children who grow up without a Mammy or a Daddy, should be entitled to all the things that children with both parents have
I'm not a bad person, i just have very few friends (I can count these on 1 hand), or good friends rather as im scared to get close to anyone in case i lose them too.
Since losing my children's daddy's, our lives changed forever, and we're never going to get that happiness back, ever. Its Soul Destroying to think were never going to see them again, and that is when it finally hit me, the night my Son was sat Broken Hearted and told me ''I just don't understand how im never going to see my Dad again Mam''
I hit rock bottom, and so did my Son. He began having anger issues, and it became unbearable to live together. So at the moment, there is only me and my Daughter at home, only for now, as my Son is getting help, help I felt I couldn't give him, I can give him all the Love in the world, and he does know that, but he is managing to cope a little better so hopefully, if he keeps it up, he will be coming home asap. Im not a bad mummy, please don't judge, as if that was the case, my Daughter wouldn't be here with me.
I grew up in the care system, which I classed as my family... loving caring people. Was devastated the day I had to leave.
All our lives, we've only ever known bad things to happen... and it would be magical if we had something brilliant to look forward to, and I know my 2 would be overwhelmed if I could give them their dream!! I don't want to put that on here just yet, as its something me my son and daughter have spoken about for a long time, and when were down in the dumps, we always speak about this 1 wish of ours to cheer us up...
Anyway, im going to be doing an update soon, and I understand that it may not be a successful campaign, but at least I can say to my 2 babies, that I tried for them, to help us Live, and not just Exist.
Thank You x
MY MISSION, MY GOAL: To help me and my children feel that we can live a little, and not feel we just have to exist. Then hopefully, once im able to cope, I will be giving something back to the community, as im doing a little research on becoming a volunteer for people like myself, in these kind of situations. As it sure aint nice not having any support, and I know how people who dont have any feel. I would LOVE to be able to help, reach out to people who are stricken with some kind of hardship.
10 years ago, we lost my sons Father who passed away when my son was just 5, and then we also lost my Daughters Daddy 4 years ago, when my Daughter was only 6. Now im at a loose end here, as i've been trying my hardest for my Children, and due to both of my Partners, and my Childrens Fathers Deaths, i've been Diagnosed with Severe Depression as well as Anxiety Attacks which is very very hard on a day to day basis to cope with.
The reason I've set this up, is to get help from people to help me and my family deal with losing both my children's daddy's as we get no support, help and never have had. I know it is not going to bring them both back, but it may just help us not have to be upset and always depressed.
since losing both my Sons Father and then my Daughters Daddy, ive suffered quite severe from Mental Health issues. and have a fear of leaving my home. I've had real good jobs, which I loved, but living with Mental Health is so hard, and I find it hard to hold a job down due to constant feelings of Panic, Depression and feeling like i need to hide away. I end up using every bit of money we have to get my daughter to and from school, as I cant use public transport incase i have a panic attack, so im trying to save for a car at the moment as it will take the strain off A LOT!!! Weve NEVER had any sort of financial support/help, because with both parents being deceased we can not get any sort of CSA or any Bereavement Allowance...which I find quite disheartening as children who grow up without a Mammy or a Daddy, should be entitled to all the things that children with both parents have
I'm not a bad person, i just have very few friends (I can count these on 1 hand), or good friends rather as im scared to get close to anyone in case i lose them too.
Since losing my children's daddy's, our lives changed forever, and we're never going to get that happiness back, ever. Its Soul Destroying to think were never going to see them again, and that is when it finally hit me, the night my Son was sat Broken Hearted and told me ''I just don't understand how im never going to see my Dad again Mam''
I hit rock bottom, and so did my Son. He began having anger issues, and it became unbearable to live together. So at the moment, there is only me and my Daughter at home, only for now, as my Son is getting help, help I felt I couldn't give him, I can give him all the Love in the world, and he does know that, but he is managing to cope a little better so hopefully, if he keeps it up, he will be coming home asap. Im not a bad mummy, please don't judge, as if that was the case, my Daughter wouldn't be here with me.
I grew up in the care system, which I classed as my family... loving caring people. Was devastated the day I had to leave.
All our lives, we've only ever known bad things to happen... and it would be magical if we had something brilliant to look forward to, and I know my 2 would be overwhelmed if I could give them their dream!! I don't want to put that on here just yet, as its something me my son and daughter have spoken about for a long time, and when were down in the dumps, we always speak about this 1 wish of ours to cheer us up...
Anyway, im going to be doing an update soon, and I understand that it may not be a successful campaign, but at least I can say to my 2 babies, that I tried for them, to help us Live, and not just Exist.
Thank You x
MY MISSION, MY GOAL: To help me and my children feel that we can live a little, and not feel we just have to exist. Then hopefully, once im able to cope, I will be giving something back to the community, as im doing a little research on becoming a volunteer for people like myself, in these kind of situations. As it sure aint nice not having any support, and I know how people who dont have any feel. I would LOVE to be able to help, reach out to people who are stricken with some kind of hardship.
Organizer
Gemma Louise Martin
Organizer
