Help Me fund College

Michael Devor
Walden University
December 23, 2016
HMNT 1001: Living and Learning in a Technological World



Going to school can be big decision, from picking the one that suits you to the anxiety of the first day and all the tasks that must get done. I know I was scared when I signed up, but I am determined to get my degree in psychology and Walden offered it both online, and in the Addictions specialty. Everything was pretty much stepping stones to get my degree from my application to now getting credits towards my degree. My anxiety has gotten better, as our Instructor and fellow classmates were so helpful. I feel confident I am going to be the best student I can be and do whatever it takes to be sure I achieve this degree, not just for myself but for every life I can change along the way and in the future.

Had you met me six months ago, I was dealing drugs, using drug, having sex for drugs and strung out of my mind on methamphetamines, alcohol, weed, you name it I either sold it or knew someone who knew someone. I was never happy and never saw myself going anywhere with my life, I was used to being abused and getting nowhere in life, taken advantage of in ways to graphic to go in detail about. I was on a highway to hell and self-destruction and I was doing all I could to get there the fastest way I could! I was always extremely depressed and thought of myself as worthless, it’s been this way since I was in the military, where in Germany at 18 I took and fell in love with alcohol, sex, drugs, partying and self-medicated with their intoxicating effects not taking long to help me destroy my diminishing career, as I already had a target on my back for rumors of being homosexual. Series after series of unfortunate events followed me for years and years, the drugs only getting worse. My friends and family would try and tell me to stop and I would swear I could control it, or would give it up on this day or that. They too getting worn out with my lies got tired of helping me until I was finally homeless, left with absolutely nothing. I would wait until people left tables to grab scraps off, having only myself to blame and determined to find a way out of this life, I gave up and came to sobriety and went to rehab.


Who I am as a person today is full of life, not drugs just trying to find my next fix. Instead I am fixing myself, learning to love myself more and more each day for continuing to push though. I know a lot of people would not have the strength to go through the things I have. It took losing so much for me to wake up and realize I had a problem. I can only thank God, I did though and did not ruin my life and that I am alive today. I have seen too many lives affected by alcohol, drugs, abuse, rape, I have seen so many more horrific things. I am fighting for us, the victims of these crimes. I will get my degree and I am going to make sure we get the justice we deserve. Until then stay strong, keep your head high and know you are not alone. I am with you and I will do whatever it takes to help anyone even without my degree, but I’m hoping with my degree I can help reach so many more lives.

I am a campion fighting using my stamina to keep me pushing towards the goals I want to achieve. I keep telling myself, “Don’t Give Up…I have got what it takes…I deserve this for myself and the future I want to have. I am attending Walden for my B.S. Psychology Specializing in Addictions, most likely continuing education my career. This degree has special meaning to me, I have fought the fight of addiction and, although it took losing everything: Friends, Family, and it wasn’t until I was living in the homeless shelter, being left nothing literally, except the determination to get sober. I still struggle sometimes addictions are bad habits hard to replace with good ones. On my 30th day sober, also unknowingly meeting the love of my life, my boyfriend Joseph and without his love, compassion, and generosity, who took me into his home and helps take care of me and makes me feel loved and pushing me knowing I can do this gave me the courage to spread my wings and take the leap to chase my dreams. I would not likely still be alive as the streets of Cleveland, Ohio can be dangerous especially in the neighborhood my shelter was in, be in this class let alone have a place that a lot of people take for granted and that’s someone to love them, a place to call home, and I know without a doubt of mind I love him. These past six months have been lifechanging but sobriety can be also just as life changing. I am now a part of the Walden Community as not just a student but someone able to share my knowledge from my life and experiences to help rehabilitate an addict. Actions do have consequences and they will catch up to them one day or another. I am so glad my actions caught up to me before something worse could have and helped influence me to help get me motivated to go back to school.

Since I have begun my educational journey at Walden, I feel good about myself and like I am doing the steps I need to get my degree to help people. I don’t care when I graduate if I don’t make a lot of money, I know I will be out in the world make a difference, and that’s what matters to me is being able to help those in need. I want to have the skills to be able to not only help others but influence them and bring them also to sobriety. Being able to mentor them and help them realize they too can go out and make a difference in the world and help other people. There are so many better options of things you can do instead of self-destroying your life with drugs. I know it’s easy to grab a bottle, needle, or smoke something to try and escape how you feel about something. That’s all you’re doing though, just temporarily numbing your mind to your problems and guess what? The next day the problems are still there, but they’re usually bigger problems, aren’t they? Usually you feel awful, having spent too much money, and now how many times must you repeat that to start all over, before you finally say enough is enough and that you’re tired of banging your head on the wall in addictions and begin to walk to glorifying, well deserved path of success rather than addiction?! I have been used, abused, shattered and broken into a million pieces. I have been hurt and I have taken my pain most of the time in silence. Letting my offenders walk away free from repercussions from their actions. I have also been in situations I took the steps to report the incidences to the authorities only to not get anything but a suggestion for an STI check when you told them you wanted to call the police and needed a rape kit. To tell anyone you have been raped is such a hard thing to talk to someone about, and I’m still here left to mend the broken pieces of my pride and soul back together. Something I know only time and healing can accomplish, I must also forgive the men that raped me and let go of the emotions that will only hold me back. I cannot live in fear, and I must fight and be strong.

I am so fortunate to have met my boyfriend Joey when I did, he has been my rock when the waves have came crashing down. He is someone I can go to for guidance, I have already been discussing my career path with my mentors, not just my boyfriend but everyone involved at the school as well on my educational goals. I have my friends, boyfriend, and all the staff including the head instructor of the Psychology program working and networking with me to ensure my success. “To be a good student you have to be a good teacher” as my brother would say. I know one day when given the chance I hope to be a strong mentor to people and have the strength to climb the mountains to achieve my goals, I will be one very great teacher. To have accomplished to do not only the things I didn’t think I could but do things I never thought I was capable of. I know Walden is going to prepare me to be the best Psychologist I can be and I have the determination to make sure I achieve my dreams.

Although the journey will be long, difficult and require me to have determination to succeed in school, like breaking the chains from the dragon that is addiction. I know the fight for my education will be long, and there will be days I probably feel like giving up, it is on those days I will remember how hard I have fought to get this far. I have gone leaps and bounds to get to the place that I am today and each day made me stronger, and just like getting this degree a lot of people will expect me to fail but it will be my own hard work and determination that sees me to the finish line, and gets me to the places I want to be in life. Then you can look back through all the work it took and know it was all worth it because now I am able with my educational and life journey I can guide people on the right path so they can live longer happier lives. As I have learned through experience, that it is just not the addict that suffers but everyone around them and to think everyone doesn’t know is lying to yourself. Stay true to yourself if nothing else, and know that no one said life would be easy, but I can guarantee you it’s worth it and you will be so strong when you conquer your dreams and look back on them as a champion.