A Surrogate For A Cancer Survivor

First of all, thank you for taking the time to read my story. I know everyone of us has a "story" and needs help at some point in their lives. The fact that you are here reading this is all that I can ask for.

At age 27 I was diagnosed with Stage IIIB inflammatory breast cancer. In simple words, if you had to get diagnosed with breast cancer, this is the kind you don't want. It's aggressive and it likes young, healthy cells. The good news is, with the help of many, many prayers I won the battle and I am now 34 years old which makes me a six year survivor! Upon my diagnosis, I was asked if I wanted to wait to start chemo and go through the process of freezing any eggs for future children. There was a chance I would not be able to produce eggs again after the treatments I had to go through. I quickly had to decide if I was done having kids, while being told I have an advanced, aggressive cancer. I was also being advised that waiting to start chemo would potentially mean the cancer could  get worse. I chose to proceed with chemo and gave up the chance of more kids. All I wanted at that time was to make it through the cancer. After 6 months of chemotherapy, a double mastectomy, radiation, and reconstructive surgery (and many other various encounters with the medical industry) I found my inner strength and beat this awful disease. I came out of this situation a better person with a new found appreciation of my faith in God, as well as just appreciating life in general. Oh, and I met the love of my life in the meantime:) My now-husband accepted me in the middle of this. He accepted me as a cancer survivor with little-to-no hair, with a 2 year old child that had stolen my heart completely, and I still had a long road of treatments to come. He is amazing, but that's a different story:)

At my 5 year oncology appointment, (being that 5 years is a significant milestone) things were starting to feel right about my husband and I taking the next steps in our lives with confidence that this disease is in full remission.  We decided to approach my oncologist with the idea of ever possibly having children. Knowing my oncologist didn't want me to get pregnant due to the high risk of reocurrance, our hopes weren't very high. My cancer was estrogen positive, meaning it was feeding off of the estrogen my body was producing. When women are pregnant our estrogen levels skyrocket, and that would significantly increase my risk of recurrence. However, my oncologist cautiously approved us to proceed with invetro fertilization. As predicted, due to the aggressive nature of the cancer and the cancer feeding off of estrogen in my body, my oncologist was not in support of me actually carrying a child myself. But first we had to see if I was producing any eggs. Obviously we have some obstacles in front of us. 

One year ago, my husband and I took a chance and set up an appointment at the University of Iowa to see if I had any eggs swimming around. After being through medically induced menopause twice, chances were slim. But, more blessings were ahead of me. Our prayers were answered. My left ovary wasn't functioning at all, but my right ovary was looking gorgeous! It just so happened I was still producing some eggs. I didn't have very many (probably a quarter of what most women have and what the doctors like to work with) but we got the doctors at the University to take a chance on us. If you don't know much about invetro-fertilization, you need your numbers to be high, or you risk being told the percentage of success is too low.

At egg retrieval day we retrieved 6 eggs (some women come out with 50+). Two of those eggs never developed, leaving us with 4.  And of those 4 remaining eggs, 2 fertilized into an embryo.  The process worked, against all odds! We have 2 beautiful, fully developed embryos waiting for us at the University of Iowa!!!(They're in a freezer and I bet they're getting cold). 

After a successful round of invetro, we then proceeded with our next steps.  We started our next moves right away and researched the surrogacy portion that would need to come next since I can't (or shouldn't) carry a child myself. To put it in perspective, this kid (embryo) is OURS, but we just need someone to carry it for us!! However, our hopes were somewhat crushed by the cost of the process. Reality hit us quickly.

In order to move forward, we were advised to go through an agency, which most medical industries recommend when going through the surrogacy process.  The agency would find a surrogate for us (for a large fee). Then we had to have another very large fee in an escrow account waiting to pay the surrogate after she gets pregnant for various costs. We were looking at a minimum of $60,000 total up front to start the process. Although my husband and I both work full time, we don't have that sitting around. We weren't sure at this point we'll ever be able to fund the process. So we put things on hold in hopes of some type of miracle. 

In October 2014, I was giving a speech to a group of ladies about my journey through breast cancer. I mentioned in one very short sentence that my husband and I had gone through invetro, but were holding off due to finances of finding a surrogate. This prompted a member of the auidence to step forward and inquire about how she could help us.  Although she is very interested in being our surrogate, the initial steps are still being taken to see if it will work for her family.  At this current point in time, we do not officially have a surrogate identified, but we are inching closer towards our goal. Whatever happens with this particular woman, it reminded us of the generosity of people. It helped re-light our fire of fighting to make this happen and not giving up on our dream. 

We are truly thankful for all of the blessings in our lives, there are SO many of them. If you're reading this, you may be one of them! Remember that 2 year old I mentioned earlier? He is now 8 years old, and he is the absolute light of our lives.  Lyncoln would love a little brother or sister, and he will be such a good caretaker. He is so excited we are doing this. My husband and I obviously don't share a child of our own so this is our 1 chance to share that experience together.  

And that is where we're at today. We know each of these steps is in the plan God had laid out for us. While we know that we must have faith in the process and the path we have been given, the fees to achieve this dream are high for any family to be able to afford. And that is why we are telling our story to you all today. We know money is tight for us all, but please consider donating to our cause to help us cover some of the expenses. 

If you can't donate, we completely understand. Maybe say a prayer instead. Those seem to be helping too! We are completely humbled to even be sending this request out. It's not always easy asking for help. This truly would be our dream come true. 

All donations will go towards lawyer fees, surrogate fees, embryo transfer fees, etc. Any donations we receive over the amount we need will be donated to the University of Iowa Hospitals for cancer research.

xoxoxo

In Faith,
Beth and Randy Baughman