Freya's Story
Donation protected
Nothing in the world can prepare you for the day your child becomes critically ill. For the past 3 weeks ive been so numb to it all and not really accepted what was happening and only now that she is home and getting better am i beginning to realise how close i was to losing my daughter.
It started on bank holiday weekend when she was running high temps and generally not being her usual, squeaky self. Just wanted to rest and lie down. Did all the usual tricks – calpol, strip her off etc and still the day after she was getting worse. With it being bank holiday Monday the only place we could go was primary care. Thinking they would just give her some antibiotics for a chest infection as she had had a cough and cold for a few days. The dr saw her and sent her to ward 8 at Royal Preston Hospital where they ‘observed’ her. Apparently no tests were needed as they said it was ‘just a viral infection’ and that i should take her home and give her regular calpol and ‘let her fight it off herself.’ No one listened when i said it wasn’t just viral infection. I told them she was poorly but thinking doctors know best i took her home and did as they said.
Then 2 days later she still wasn’t better and ended up back in hospital. Straight back up to ward 8 where they soon was rushing around after seeing how much she deteriorated. Grey, mottled skin, couldn’t breathe, sky high temps. Never seen anyone look the colour she looked. Put her on oxygen, and took lots of blood tests. The rest is a little bit of a blur after speaking to lots of doctors and nurses who were all surrounding her bed on the high dependency ward. Just remember a doctor saying they needed to put her to sleep to put in a chest drain and that she needed to go to Manchester.
Watching her get put to sleep was heartbreaking. Another image i wish i couldn’t remember. After an hour or so i went into theatre to see her, filled with lots of wires and oxygen mask to be told they had induced a coma to give her little body a rest from fighting so hard. She looked so tiny and to be told i wouldn’t see her awake for days literally broke my heart into a million pieces. No one told me that thats what they would be doing. I thought id see her awake within an hour or so. They then had to battle for 6 hours to get her body stable enough to travel to Manchester childrens hospital. It should of taken an hour but her blood pressure and oxygen etc just wouldn’t settle. Eventually they let me sit in theatre with her until they felt she was stable enough to survive the journey to Manchester in the ambulance. Longest ride of my life.
Then she was taken straight to intensive care where she was put on breathing support and had her first chest drain fitted. An hour later i was finally allowed in. Surrounded by machines and drips all beeping away and needed to keep her alive. Never left her side and was awake next to her bed holding her hand and begging her to not leave me. Couldn’t eat or sleep. Couldn’t stop crying but i was still numb.
So many tests were done on her and each night i would sit by her bed reading her stories. Surrounded by all her teddies and her quilt she looked so innocent and peaceful but nothing could stop me looking at the machine telling me that the massive tube down her throat was doing all the breaths for her.
a day after being admitted and after their tests and xrays they told me she had pneumonia and sepsis. Both extremely dangerous and life threatening. Then i asked what would of happened if i had left her to ‘fight it herself’ as advised and the respiratory consultant told me she wouldn’t be here now. A day later. A day later i would have lost my daughter because she would of suffocated in her sleep. Her lung lining was filled with 3cm of fluid, her lungs were badly filled with infection which had then spread throughout her tiny body and caused her to contract sepsis.
Tests were done on the fluid drained from her plural lining and it showed she had grown strep A. A nasty bug which explained how poorly she had gotten. It had struck when she had the simple cough and cold. Now it was just a waiting game for her to stabilise and for antibiotics to start doing their job. Blood tests also showed that she needed a blood transfusion because of her white blood cells.
Despite all this freya was showing signs that she does what she wants and was fighting to try and wake up. As the sedation wore off, Little signs like slightly squeezing my hand, opening her eyes for a second, waving her arms and kicking out when they was doing suctions on her to try and relieve some of the rubbish off her chest. I remember one day when i was telling her nannie and granddad and auntie Katie were here to see her her eyes started flickering tying her best to open them and squeezing my hand.
Then the day came round when they said today was the day to extubate her and allow her to breathe more for herself as she had started to take breathes for herself. Although his was what i wanted i couldn’t stop panicking and worrying that she wouldn’t be able to do it. Stood outside the hospital crying my out by myself i eventually pulled myself together and went back to sit next to her. I went to take a picture of her to be able to show her when shes older exactly what she pulled through when i saw her open her eyes and keep them open! Just as i had taken the picture. A picture i will treasure for ever. I felt like she just knew mummy needed a sign she was gonna be okay so she woke up. A little earlier than they wanted as she still had her tube down her throat but she had done it!
Then after another xray it showed that majority of the fluid had been drained but there was now a pocket of air in the lining where the fluid had been and they didn’t know what had caused it. Whatever it was caused her lung to collapse and making it harder to breathe. CT scans and xrays then showed that the infection had caused her lung to have a hole in. The CT scan also showed she had a blood clot in an artery in her chest where central line and the battle to get the right strength of medication began.
Another trip to theatre where the fitted a new drain to let the air out. However xrays showed that the hole was taking its time to heal and surgery was being talked about. How much does one little girl need to go through? However she was now on a normal ward which was a good positive sign. Physiotherapy visited often to try encourage her to walk and move but she was so weak she couldn’t. She was being fed via an NG tube which had to be re passed numerous times because she liked to pull it out. Same with canulas etc.
the change within 24hours of having the second drain fitted was amazing, she was doing little giggles and trying to eat and drink her bottle. Making an effort and showing interest in toys and even started to manage a few steps to the window where she would paint pictures. Each day she got stronger and did a little bit more until she was eating properly and able to have her ng tube removed!
I stayed in Ronald mcdonald house which was a 1 minute walk from the hospital and also stayed over in freyas room most of the time. They had pull out beds for parents but most of the time i slept in bed with freya so she wasn’t scared.
The nurses and staff at royal Manchester hospital were amazing and nothing short of being angels in my eyes. They each knew freya and what she did or didn’t like, kept me in the loop and explained everything to me and made sure i looked after myself too.
Without these people i would have lost my daughter. If i had ‘left her to fight it herself’ she wouldnt of been here now. No more hearing her squeaky voice,seeing her cheeky rabbit grin or watch her drag her quilt around or seeing her flashing her beautiful to get her own way. Ebony would be without her big sister. Thinking about it makes my heart stop. I couldn’t cope without my girls. I love them both so much and couldn’t be prouder of how strong Freya is.
Though she be but little she is fierce.
- - - - - -
please donate any amount you can to this page towards a donation to both ronald mcdonald house and royal manchester childrens hospital. without them i dont know what situation id be in. thankyou for reading.
Jodie, Freya & Ebony (& family)
It started on bank holiday weekend when she was running high temps and generally not being her usual, squeaky self. Just wanted to rest and lie down. Did all the usual tricks – calpol, strip her off etc and still the day after she was getting worse. With it being bank holiday Monday the only place we could go was primary care. Thinking they would just give her some antibiotics for a chest infection as she had had a cough and cold for a few days. The dr saw her and sent her to ward 8 at Royal Preston Hospital where they ‘observed’ her. Apparently no tests were needed as they said it was ‘just a viral infection’ and that i should take her home and give her regular calpol and ‘let her fight it off herself.’ No one listened when i said it wasn’t just viral infection. I told them she was poorly but thinking doctors know best i took her home and did as they said.
Then 2 days later she still wasn’t better and ended up back in hospital. Straight back up to ward 8 where they soon was rushing around after seeing how much she deteriorated. Grey, mottled skin, couldn’t breathe, sky high temps. Never seen anyone look the colour she looked. Put her on oxygen, and took lots of blood tests. The rest is a little bit of a blur after speaking to lots of doctors and nurses who were all surrounding her bed on the high dependency ward. Just remember a doctor saying they needed to put her to sleep to put in a chest drain and that she needed to go to Manchester.
Watching her get put to sleep was heartbreaking. Another image i wish i couldn’t remember. After an hour or so i went into theatre to see her, filled with lots of wires and oxygen mask to be told they had induced a coma to give her little body a rest from fighting so hard. She looked so tiny and to be told i wouldn’t see her awake for days literally broke my heart into a million pieces. No one told me that thats what they would be doing. I thought id see her awake within an hour or so. They then had to battle for 6 hours to get her body stable enough to travel to Manchester childrens hospital. It should of taken an hour but her blood pressure and oxygen etc just wouldn’t settle. Eventually they let me sit in theatre with her until they felt she was stable enough to survive the journey to Manchester in the ambulance. Longest ride of my life.
Then she was taken straight to intensive care where she was put on breathing support and had her first chest drain fitted. An hour later i was finally allowed in. Surrounded by machines and drips all beeping away and needed to keep her alive. Never left her side and was awake next to her bed holding her hand and begging her to not leave me. Couldn’t eat or sleep. Couldn’t stop crying but i was still numb.
So many tests were done on her and each night i would sit by her bed reading her stories. Surrounded by all her teddies and her quilt she looked so innocent and peaceful but nothing could stop me looking at the machine telling me that the massive tube down her throat was doing all the breaths for her.
a day after being admitted and after their tests and xrays they told me she had pneumonia and sepsis. Both extremely dangerous and life threatening. Then i asked what would of happened if i had left her to ‘fight it herself’ as advised and the respiratory consultant told me she wouldn’t be here now. A day later. A day later i would have lost my daughter because she would of suffocated in her sleep. Her lung lining was filled with 3cm of fluid, her lungs were badly filled with infection which had then spread throughout her tiny body and caused her to contract sepsis.
Tests were done on the fluid drained from her plural lining and it showed she had grown strep A. A nasty bug which explained how poorly she had gotten. It had struck when she had the simple cough and cold. Now it was just a waiting game for her to stabilise and for antibiotics to start doing their job. Blood tests also showed that she needed a blood transfusion because of her white blood cells.
Despite all this freya was showing signs that she does what she wants and was fighting to try and wake up. As the sedation wore off, Little signs like slightly squeezing my hand, opening her eyes for a second, waving her arms and kicking out when they was doing suctions on her to try and relieve some of the rubbish off her chest. I remember one day when i was telling her nannie and granddad and auntie Katie were here to see her her eyes started flickering tying her best to open them and squeezing my hand.
Then the day came round when they said today was the day to extubate her and allow her to breathe more for herself as she had started to take breathes for herself. Although his was what i wanted i couldn’t stop panicking and worrying that she wouldn’t be able to do it. Stood outside the hospital crying my out by myself i eventually pulled myself together and went back to sit next to her. I went to take a picture of her to be able to show her when shes older exactly what she pulled through when i saw her open her eyes and keep them open! Just as i had taken the picture. A picture i will treasure for ever. I felt like she just knew mummy needed a sign she was gonna be okay so she woke up. A little earlier than they wanted as she still had her tube down her throat but she had done it!
Then after another xray it showed that majority of the fluid had been drained but there was now a pocket of air in the lining where the fluid had been and they didn’t know what had caused it. Whatever it was caused her lung to collapse and making it harder to breathe. CT scans and xrays then showed that the infection had caused her lung to have a hole in. The CT scan also showed she had a blood clot in an artery in her chest where central line and the battle to get the right strength of medication began.
Another trip to theatre where the fitted a new drain to let the air out. However xrays showed that the hole was taking its time to heal and surgery was being talked about. How much does one little girl need to go through? However she was now on a normal ward which was a good positive sign. Physiotherapy visited often to try encourage her to walk and move but she was so weak she couldn’t. She was being fed via an NG tube which had to be re passed numerous times because she liked to pull it out. Same with canulas etc.
the change within 24hours of having the second drain fitted was amazing, she was doing little giggles and trying to eat and drink her bottle. Making an effort and showing interest in toys and even started to manage a few steps to the window where she would paint pictures. Each day she got stronger and did a little bit more until she was eating properly and able to have her ng tube removed!
I stayed in Ronald mcdonald house which was a 1 minute walk from the hospital and also stayed over in freyas room most of the time. They had pull out beds for parents but most of the time i slept in bed with freya so she wasn’t scared.
The nurses and staff at royal Manchester hospital were amazing and nothing short of being angels in my eyes. They each knew freya and what she did or didn’t like, kept me in the loop and explained everything to me and made sure i looked after myself too.
Without these people i would have lost my daughter. If i had ‘left her to fight it herself’ she wouldnt of been here now. No more hearing her squeaky voice,seeing her cheeky rabbit grin or watch her drag her quilt around or seeing her flashing her beautiful to get her own way. Ebony would be without her big sister. Thinking about it makes my heart stop. I couldn’t cope without my girls. I love them both so much and couldn’t be prouder of how strong Freya is.
Though she be but little she is fierce.
- - - - - -
please donate any amount you can to this page towards a donation to both ronald mcdonald house and royal manchester childrens hospital. without them i dont know what situation id be in. thankyou for reading.
Jodie, Freya & Ebony (& family)
Organizer
Jodie Michaela Swarbrick
Organizer
