Kaleb's Top Surgery

HISTORY:

Kaleb Alexander Maarschalk, an 18 year old from Central New York, was born Febuary 24th 1996, he weighed 8 pounds and 9 1/2 ounces, it was a routine birth to a young mother, and when push came to shove (get it?) the delivery doctor congratulated his mother on her brand new baby girl.  

(Kaleb seen here ages 7 months to 4 years)

When the doctor said girl they were not mistaken at the time, being a female-to-male transman, he was born with the female sex characteristics. 

When asked, his mother says that looking back, Kaleb exhibited signs from a very young age that he was in distress and uncomfortable in his own body.  Being a first time mother she simply thought that he was just going through his "Terrible Two's" she didn't realize that the way he acted was not such of the average child until a couple more kids later. 


Q:"When did you start to notice that there might be something off about Kaleb? Possibly having to do with discomfort within himself or his body?"
Monica: "Looking back it was probably sometime between 2 to 3 years old, but I thought it was the terrible two's.  There was a lot of anxiety even then, 4 was awful and it just got worse, especially when Mickey (Kaleb's younger sister) got older, probably 2 to 3 years old herself and I began to realize that not all kids acted/reacted like you"
Q:"When you mention Anxiety what are you referring too?"
Monica: "There was a lot of fidgety nervous behavior, things that he didnt know he was doing, he couldnt handle changes in his schedule, he was chewing his nails off at two years old, he was pacing, and non-stop talking about anything and everything" 
Q: "What could he possibly talk about at 2 years old?"
Monica: "Just gibberish really, to this day if Kaleb is ever experiencing anxiety he'll call me talking a mile a minute even if he doesn't have a particular incident to talk about.  Kaleb learned how to talk really early and I think its just an outlet for his anxiety."



(Kaleb seen here with his sister Micaelah)

"I don't ever really remember being a happy child, sometimes I can see myself feeling happy in pictures from when I was younger but I realize that the older that I get in those photo's the less I'm smiling and the more unhappy I look.  I think I spent a great deal of time around animals not just because we had so many but because I felt better connected with them as a whole than anyone else.  Even at an early age I was hyper aware of myself and I think understood that animals didn't see you as boy or girl but as human, and they were just happy to spend the time with you."

"I think the older I got the more anxious I became.  I always knew that I was uncomfortable with my body but I always felt as though it was stupid, everyone is uncomfortable with themselves. However, I don't think I saw it as a major issue until I got to be around 9 or 10, I remember I would look in the mirror and just feel mortified, that's also around the time in which the self-hatred really started to settle in.  It's nearly impossible to find pictures of myself, aside from the yearly family photos, between the ages of 6 up until I was turning 14. I always felt clunky and loud around other people, and I think I did draw a lot of attention to myself in hopes of praise from other people, I always hoped that if more people liked me, complimented me, wanted to be around me, the more I would feel that way about myself and it never worked.  But the older I got the more I drew attention in the wrong way, I did negative things, which was responded to with negative consequences, I didn't know how to act or how to handle my own emotions. I think I went downhill really fast, I was self harming in very gruesome amounts and with no remorse for my own body, I didn't want to be in it anymore and I felt as though the more I self harmed the more pieces of myself I was setting free."



"I dont think I knew what I was really struggling with until I was around 16 and found an online community of men who were born female and I could relate everything I had felt over the years to the stories that I had been reading.  At that point I think I already knew somewhere in the back of my mind that I was struggling with my gender not alligning with sex in the way that it should. At that point I cut off all of my hair, did away with my female clothing, bought a chest binder, and I tried going by a gender neutral name until I found the one that fit me. "

(Just a few weeks before transitioning)

 "I came out socially (but secretly) to my friends, but not to my family, I didn't know how my mom would react to my transition and I didn't want it to be negative.  It tore me up inside for the duration that I tried to keep my secret from my mom, my self harming that in the recent months had slowed down picked back up again and emotionally I wasn't anywhere near happy, but I had hope.  Soon after I began my transition my mom, who isn't as dumb as I had hoped, was aware and welcomed me with open arms.  She aided me through a battle with TST Boces where a teacher bullied me relentlessly for two years, calling me by birth name, using the term "it" and "He-she" when she spoke to me, and outing me in the proffessional world. My mother cheered me on when I started hormones, legally changed my name, and started college as a happy, healthy, male.  My self destructive ways have ceased to affect my life, and I've grown a lot internally, especially when it comes to developing happy, and healthy friendships and relationships."

(Kaleb and Monica)

(Kaleb and Evan)


(Kaleb hours after he started hormones)

So why gofund me?
A big part of Kaleb's dysphoria has been centered around his chest seeing as he is seven months on testosterone the only dead give away for him in the future will be that he has a chest.  

Kaleb has been using a chest binder over the last 2 years of his transition, these work by compressing his upper body into a flat, male like shape in order to hide his chest.  However, binders are painful, and can cause dangerous health conditions, some of these include, but are not limited to:
-Decreased lung capacity. 
-Fractured/bruised ribs.
-In some cases the distress due to binding can cause a deformation of your ribs.
-Muscle tissue can be shifted.
-Small vessel damage and tissue injury. 
-Spinal Problems.
-Decreased blood flow to lymph nodes in the breast area, this can cause clots, damage to your circulation and lead to lymphatic cancer due to the bacteria build up and clogging of the lymph nodes. 
-Some people have even reported having been diagnosed with things such as Atelectasis, the collapse of part or (much less commonly) their whole lung. 

"Top Surgery" is when a surgeon removes and resculpts the chest to look male, and not have developed breats, this surgery is very costly and Kaleb has been saving up on his own but would greatly appreciate the help of others, as he has helped those in the past before himself, to cover these costs.