Holding Onto Hope
Donation protected
Dear Friends,
As so many of you know, my life has not been easy these last three years. On the day after Thanksgiving 2011, as I sat on my couch watching TV, contemplating turkey and stuffing leftovers my heart skipped a beat then began racing uncontrollably. I was never one to overreact to such things but I suspected that whatever was happening might possibly be serious, so for the first time in 20 years I found myself in an emergeny room. After an hour or so my heart calmed, the ER doctors suggested that it was probably nothing more than a panic attack (to my great relief) but caution was the better part of valor and they recommended I see my physician to confirm their diagnosis.
As luck would have it, my doctor was a cardiologist. He tended to agree with the ER's conclusion but decided putting me on a portable heart monitor for three days was the prudent course of action. On the fourth day he called, instructing me to cease doing anything that might stress my heart, no working out (something I had done religiously for more than 20 years), if possible to avoid things as simple as climbing stairs and he insisted I come in early the following morning for further tests.
Until that time I had had a good life, there was always work, friends and health but the six months following that phone call became a nightmare; dozens of ER visits, EKG's and invasive tests but no answers. Finally it was decided I'd suffered a bout of myocarditis, a virus of the heart. A condition what would ultimately resolve but it would be years before I returned to full health. During those acute first months I became a shut-in, unable to walk even a couple of blocks without my heart racing to 160 bpm. Working became impossible and in time the debts began to mount. When I was finally well enough to return to work as the Director of Business Development for a small social media company I discovered the business was in a state of financial distress, unable to make payroll and on the verge of collapse. I knew I needed look for other opportunities but times were tough, the country was still in the throes of the Great Recession. There was no work to be found. Eventually, unable to pay my rent, I lost my home.
In the two years to follow I chased opportunities in South Florida, Atlanta, Philadelphia and finally Los Angeles, sending out hundreds of resumes, applying for every kind of job I could think of from waiter to positions commensurate with my experience but no matter how hard I tried nothing materialized. By the time I reached the west coast whatever money I'd managed to save was gone, I found myself living in my car in Los Angeles, a city I barely knew and 3000 miles from home. I'd reached the end of the line.
In an incredible act of generosity a good friend bought me a plane ticket home to New York City where I am fortune to have great and generous friends willing to lend me their couch or spare room but still, there's been no work.
As I sit here in Starbucks I have $8 in my pocket and $1.31 in the bank, there have been many days without food, I have lost more than 30 lbs in 12 months. Were it nor for my friends I would already have fallen through the cracks. But I have asked too much of them, they've done what they can but times are tough for many. I can't ask anymore of these generous people. And sadly, I have no family to speak of, so I find myself in many ways alone.
Through all that's happened I have managed to hold onto hope. There have been many moments when I considered giving up completely but somehow I'm still here and am still optimistic. Now though, I face challenges I couldn't have imagined in my wildest nightmares. My car has been repossessed and sold at auction with all my work clothes in the trunk, making the prospect of interviewing for jobs virtually impossible, I have no money to ride the subway and I have, on occasion, stolen food in desperation.
All I ask is enough help to get back on my feet, to buy a jacket and some slacks so as to look presentable at a job interview, to have enough money for food and transportation, to be able to afford the medication I take for my heart condition and to buy life's most basic necessities.
I refuse to give up and with your help I believe I can find my way back, find a home and a job. I am not without my flaws but, by and large, I believe I am a good person. I just need a little help to go along with my hope.
I have one small caveat: anyone who has loaned me even a single dollar, bought me a meal or offered me their couch or a spare bedroom in the past may not contribute to this. You have done so much already
As so many of you know, my life has not been easy these last three years. On the day after Thanksgiving 2011, as I sat on my couch watching TV, contemplating turkey and stuffing leftovers my heart skipped a beat then began racing uncontrollably. I was never one to overreact to such things but I suspected that whatever was happening might possibly be serious, so for the first time in 20 years I found myself in an emergeny room. After an hour or so my heart calmed, the ER doctors suggested that it was probably nothing more than a panic attack (to my great relief) but caution was the better part of valor and they recommended I see my physician to confirm their diagnosis.
As luck would have it, my doctor was a cardiologist. He tended to agree with the ER's conclusion but decided putting me on a portable heart monitor for three days was the prudent course of action. On the fourth day he called, instructing me to cease doing anything that might stress my heart, no working out (something I had done religiously for more than 20 years), if possible to avoid things as simple as climbing stairs and he insisted I come in early the following morning for further tests.
Until that time I had had a good life, there was always work, friends and health but the six months following that phone call became a nightmare; dozens of ER visits, EKG's and invasive tests but no answers. Finally it was decided I'd suffered a bout of myocarditis, a virus of the heart. A condition what would ultimately resolve but it would be years before I returned to full health. During those acute first months I became a shut-in, unable to walk even a couple of blocks without my heart racing to 160 bpm. Working became impossible and in time the debts began to mount. When I was finally well enough to return to work as the Director of Business Development for a small social media company I discovered the business was in a state of financial distress, unable to make payroll and on the verge of collapse. I knew I needed look for other opportunities but times were tough, the country was still in the throes of the Great Recession. There was no work to be found. Eventually, unable to pay my rent, I lost my home.
In the two years to follow I chased opportunities in South Florida, Atlanta, Philadelphia and finally Los Angeles, sending out hundreds of resumes, applying for every kind of job I could think of from waiter to positions commensurate with my experience but no matter how hard I tried nothing materialized. By the time I reached the west coast whatever money I'd managed to save was gone, I found myself living in my car in Los Angeles, a city I barely knew and 3000 miles from home. I'd reached the end of the line.
In an incredible act of generosity a good friend bought me a plane ticket home to New York City where I am fortune to have great and generous friends willing to lend me their couch or spare room but still, there's been no work.
As I sit here in Starbucks I have $8 in my pocket and $1.31 in the bank, there have been many days without food, I have lost more than 30 lbs in 12 months. Were it nor for my friends I would already have fallen through the cracks. But I have asked too much of them, they've done what they can but times are tough for many. I can't ask anymore of these generous people. And sadly, I have no family to speak of, so I find myself in many ways alone.
Through all that's happened I have managed to hold onto hope. There have been many moments when I considered giving up completely but somehow I'm still here and am still optimistic. Now though, I face challenges I couldn't have imagined in my wildest nightmares. My car has been repossessed and sold at auction with all my work clothes in the trunk, making the prospect of interviewing for jobs virtually impossible, I have no money to ride the subway and I have, on occasion, stolen food in desperation.
All I ask is enough help to get back on my feet, to buy a jacket and some slacks so as to look presentable at a job interview, to have enough money for food and transportation, to be able to afford the medication I take for my heart condition and to buy life's most basic necessities.
I refuse to give up and with your help I believe I can find my way back, find a home and a job. I am not without my flaws but, by and large, I believe I am a good person. I just need a little help to go along with my hope.
I have one small caveat: anyone who has loaned me even a single dollar, bought me a meal or offered me their couch or a spare bedroom in the past may not contribute to this. You have done so much already
Organizer
Adam Kaufman
Organizer
