Custody Fight (ongoing)
Donation protected
I have started this page to help a very very good friend of mine continue fighting for custody of her 8 year old daughter. Her daughter is struggling while living with her father and this fight has been ongoing for many many years. She needs our help. Her story is below.
AMANDA'S STORY (Long but worth it):
When I was 14yrs old, playing around on AOL one day a man messaged me. His name was Kenny...and he was 27yrs old. I snuck around to meet him and eventually was fatally attracted to him. He picked me up from school in the mornings so I could skip, got hotels, bought me ciggarettes and alcohol. I was great at keeping him a secret to my parents until I was 16. At 16 they did find out, but by law of consent here there was nothing they could do. My dad kicked me out and I went to live with Kenny. At 17yrs old, and him at 30yrs old I got pregnant beginning of my senior year. Over time he started slowing isolating me from my family, and making me believe they were monsters. He moved me 3 times, each time further south from my family until eventually I was 2hrs away...with a baby...no friends....no family near by...no money. I had become his puppet, and controlled by him. Until I couldn't stand it anymore and finally got the guts to leave.
I'll try to give you the jist/short version of whats happened since December 2007 when I left my daughters father.
I finally got the guts to leave him one evening in December, the week before Christmas 2007. As I was about to go to my car he physically snatched Leona from me (she was 1 1/2yrs at the time), ran to the bathroom, locked me out and called 911 saying I was trying to kill him and Leona. Four Sheriffs immediately showed up to the house. It was obvious that I was hysterical, all I wanted to do was take my baby and go to my parents like I planned. Unfortunately, because of Kenny's outrageous accusation the Sheriffs said I could leave but I couldn't take Leona. I panicked, I felt trapped and backed into a corner. I tried to do what was BETTER for Leona and I and leave a terrible/controlling situation and it backfired on me. I called my parents for advice, while the sheriffs were still there. Dad called an attorney, and I was advised to wait until morning to leave and stay at the house with Kenny that night. I wish I would have listened but I KNEW IN MY HEART that if I had stayed, once those sheriffs left me alone with Kenny he would continue to push my buttons and something horrible would have happened that night. So I had Kenny PROMISE ME (wish I had realized his promises meant nothing) that I could come get her in the morning. I left and went to my parents 2hrs away.
Next morning I called Kenny around 8am, when I know Leona usually wakes up. No answer, tried again every hour until 12 noon. Nothing...so my grandfather and my sister drove me 2hrs back to VA to the sheriffs office to find out what I could do because he wasn't at his house either. We waited and waited for an hour while one of the sheriffs went back to his office, then he came out with a terrible, sad look on his face and some papers in his hand. He handed me papers that Kenny had filed at 9am that morning putting an ex parte, sort of like a restraining order, on me against him and Leona. I lost it....my whole world just caved in. I couldn't have any form of contact with Leona or Kenny until our court hearing which was set for middle of February 2008. I missed Christmas with my baby girl, my birthday, 2mths of nothing. My daughter was ripped from me :-(
February came, I can't remember much about the hearing because I was on some heavy sedatives per my doctor to keep me sane...but the ex parte was dropped. New issue that arose was that Kenny told the judge he felt that Leona was in harms way if she was around me because of my history of bipolar (in my teen years, but never once did I have an issue since Leona was born) So I was ordered supervised visits only until our actual custody hearing April 2008.
I got a great lawyer thanks to my grandparents. $8,000 retainer and another $8,000 once everything was said and done. We had the case IN THE BAG, all I needed to do was get a psychological evaluation and a drug test (Kenny also accused me of being a drug addict) and there would be no possible way I would lose the case.
Middle of March Kenny started talking to me a lot more, and inviting me over for days at a time and even spent some weekends with him just so I could see Leona. He started convincing me that he was "so sorry" and this all just got out of hand. That we should make things right...again...I believed him. I guess it was that part of me still was under his control, not really sure but I HONESTLY BELIEVED he wanted us to work, be a family, and do the best thing for Leona. He told me I should fire my lawyer, to stop wasting my money. That we could go into that court room together mid April and let the judge know we had worked things out. So I fired my lawyer like an idiot and was excited to know I'd be getting my family back, and that all would be ok. Neither of us followed the courts order to get the psych. eval and drug test done since we were "settling." That me leaving was a mistake and this was all my fault. I should have stayed..thank goodness he was taking me back..or so I thought.
The big day in April 2008 came, and HE DID NOT walk into that court room with me. I walked in there ALONE (my family wasn't speaking to me because they were mad I had fallen back into Kennys "controlling spell", and mad that I fired my lawyer...they saw what I clearly could not) I had no lawyer, and there was Kenny, beside HIS LAWYER that he told me he DIDN'T have. All I did was sit there, I got maybe 2 words into that hearing. Kennys lawyer asked for me to agree to sign over my rights. I burst into tears and said NEVER! The next issue was that I didn't get my psych. eval and drug test TO PROVE my innocence so I lost primary custody of Leona. Judge granted shared legal custody, and Kenny had primary physical custody. I was to get her every other weekend. I was devastated. However, Summer came quickly and Kenny started letting me have her for a week at a time SOMETIMES MORE. This schedule continued from Summer 2008 until I finally was able to file for another custody hearing May 2009...then in retaliation he started only letting me have her for my weekends. Kenny and I had a preliminary hearing in July. Both of us were ordered psych. evals and drug tests....both of which I got immediately and passed with flying colors.
Our hearing was scheduled for October 9th, 2009. I found out a week prior that Kenny still had not completed his psych. eval...only his drug test. My lawyer said we could proceed without him having it, but that his results may ultimately make or break the case . So I told my lawyer to go ahead and ask for a postpone-ment. It was granted and hearing pushed back to February 12th, 2010. Hearing for February 2010 came, witness came. The ruling was that I didn't have enough evidence to prove Kenny unfit, and that at this point it would do more harm (ARE YOU KIDDING ME???) than good to "uproot" Leona from her environment. All I could do was cry....
It's been over 4 years since we last went to court to fight for custody of Leona. Unfortunate last time we couldn't prove enough change in circumstances to modify the current order and custodial custody remains with her father. But we are going back! Leona is now 8yrs old and is having more and more anxiety issues to the point of self-mutilation. She's being exposed to things a child shouldn't be exposed to, and is not the happy care-free 8yr old she could be. She's been alienated from her family on my side and her own fathers side. Thankfully I've maintained a relationship with her grandmother (her fathers mom) her Aunt and Uncle (her fathers brother) and even her brother ( her fathers almost 16yr old son whom he hadn't seen in 6 years by his own choice) so that Leona can visit with her family and have a relationship with them as well. Her father does not like this and because of me allowing Leona to see the family she loves, he's gone back on our agreement for the past 7 years of visitation in Summer being one week on one week of which brings us back into court.
Leona is old enough this go round to speak with the court appointed Guardian Ad Litem (child's lawyer) and we pray this will be a huge stepping stone into winning our case.
Leona needs a healthy, stable environment where she's able to be a kid. Where's she's able to see her family without worry. She also deserves counseling for her anxiety and nervous issues that are now causing her to do bodily harm. These lengthy custody hearings are very costly, and as a family of 5 it adds up quickly. Our attorney is 2 hours away as our case is in a different state and there's so much driving back and forth. Any small donation is greatly appreciated as we fight for Leona's happiness and health.
AMANDA'S STORY (Long but worth it):
When I was 14yrs old, playing around on AOL one day a man messaged me. His name was Kenny...and he was 27yrs old. I snuck around to meet him and eventually was fatally attracted to him. He picked me up from school in the mornings so I could skip, got hotels, bought me ciggarettes and alcohol. I was great at keeping him a secret to my parents until I was 16. At 16 they did find out, but by law of consent here there was nothing they could do. My dad kicked me out and I went to live with Kenny. At 17yrs old, and him at 30yrs old I got pregnant beginning of my senior year. Over time he started slowing isolating me from my family, and making me believe they were monsters. He moved me 3 times, each time further south from my family until eventually I was 2hrs away...with a baby...no friends....no family near by...no money. I had become his puppet, and controlled by him. Until I couldn't stand it anymore and finally got the guts to leave.
I'll try to give you the jist/short version of whats happened since December 2007 when I left my daughters father.
I finally got the guts to leave him one evening in December, the week before Christmas 2007. As I was about to go to my car he physically snatched Leona from me (she was 1 1/2yrs at the time), ran to the bathroom, locked me out and called 911 saying I was trying to kill him and Leona. Four Sheriffs immediately showed up to the house. It was obvious that I was hysterical, all I wanted to do was take my baby and go to my parents like I planned. Unfortunately, because of Kenny's outrageous accusation the Sheriffs said I could leave but I couldn't take Leona. I panicked, I felt trapped and backed into a corner. I tried to do what was BETTER for Leona and I and leave a terrible/controlling situation and it backfired on me. I called my parents for advice, while the sheriffs were still there. Dad called an attorney, and I was advised to wait until morning to leave and stay at the house with Kenny that night. I wish I would have listened but I KNEW IN MY HEART that if I had stayed, once those sheriffs left me alone with Kenny he would continue to push my buttons and something horrible would have happened that night. So I had Kenny PROMISE ME (wish I had realized his promises meant nothing) that I could come get her in the morning. I left and went to my parents 2hrs away.
Next morning I called Kenny around 8am, when I know Leona usually wakes up. No answer, tried again every hour until 12 noon. Nothing...so my grandfather and my sister drove me 2hrs back to VA to the sheriffs office to find out what I could do because he wasn't at his house either. We waited and waited for an hour while one of the sheriffs went back to his office, then he came out with a terrible, sad look on his face and some papers in his hand. He handed me papers that Kenny had filed at 9am that morning putting an ex parte, sort of like a restraining order, on me against him and Leona. I lost it....my whole world just caved in. I couldn't have any form of contact with Leona or Kenny until our court hearing which was set for middle of February 2008. I missed Christmas with my baby girl, my birthday, 2mths of nothing. My daughter was ripped from me :-(
February came, I can't remember much about the hearing because I was on some heavy sedatives per my doctor to keep me sane...but the ex parte was dropped. New issue that arose was that Kenny told the judge he felt that Leona was in harms way if she was around me because of my history of bipolar (in my teen years, but never once did I have an issue since Leona was born) So I was ordered supervised visits only until our actual custody hearing April 2008.
I got a great lawyer thanks to my grandparents. $8,000 retainer and another $8,000 once everything was said and done. We had the case IN THE BAG, all I needed to do was get a psychological evaluation and a drug test (Kenny also accused me of being a drug addict) and there would be no possible way I would lose the case.
Middle of March Kenny started talking to me a lot more, and inviting me over for days at a time and even spent some weekends with him just so I could see Leona. He started convincing me that he was "so sorry" and this all just got out of hand. That we should make things right...again...I believed him. I guess it was that part of me still was under his control, not really sure but I HONESTLY BELIEVED he wanted us to work, be a family, and do the best thing for Leona. He told me I should fire my lawyer, to stop wasting my money. That we could go into that court room together mid April and let the judge know we had worked things out. So I fired my lawyer like an idiot and was excited to know I'd be getting my family back, and that all would be ok. Neither of us followed the courts order to get the psych. eval and drug test done since we were "settling." That me leaving was a mistake and this was all my fault. I should have stayed..thank goodness he was taking me back..or so I thought.
The big day in April 2008 came, and HE DID NOT walk into that court room with me. I walked in there ALONE (my family wasn't speaking to me because they were mad I had fallen back into Kennys "controlling spell", and mad that I fired my lawyer...they saw what I clearly could not) I had no lawyer, and there was Kenny, beside HIS LAWYER that he told me he DIDN'T have. All I did was sit there, I got maybe 2 words into that hearing. Kennys lawyer asked for me to agree to sign over my rights. I burst into tears and said NEVER! The next issue was that I didn't get my psych. eval and drug test TO PROVE my innocence so I lost primary custody of Leona. Judge granted shared legal custody, and Kenny had primary physical custody. I was to get her every other weekend. I was devastated. However, Summer came quickly and Kenny started letting me have her for a week at a time SOMETIMES MORE. This schedule continued from Summer 2008 until I finally was able to file for another custody hearing May 2009...then in retaliation he started only letting me have her for my weekends. Kenny and I had a preliminary hearing in July. Both of us were ordered psych. evals and drug tests....both of which I got immediately and passed with flying colors.
Our hearing was scheduled for October 9th, 2009. I found out a week prior that Kenny still had not completed his psych. eval...only his drug test. My lawyer said we could proceed without him having it, but that his results may ultimately make or break the case . So I told my lawyer to go ahead and ask for a postpone-ment. It was granted and hearing pushed back to February 12th, 2010. Hearing for February 2010 came, witness came. The ruling was that I didn't have enough evidence to prove Kenny unfit, and that at this point it would do more harm (ARE YOU KIDDING ME???) than good to "uproot" Leona from her environment. All I could do was cry....
It's been over 4 years since we last went to court to fight for custody of Leona. Unfortunate last time we couldn't prove enough change in circumstances to modify the current order and custodial custody remains with her father. But we are going back! Leona is now 8yrs old and is having more and more anxiety issues to the point of self-mutilation. She's being exposed to things a child shouldn't be exposed to, and is not the happy care-free 8yr old she could be. She's been alienated from her family on my side and her own fathers side. Thankfully I've maintained a relationship with her grandmother (her fathers mom) her Aunt and Uncle (her fathers brother) and even her brother ( her fathers almost 16yr old son whom he hadn't seen in 6 years by his own choice) so that Leona can visit with her family and have a relationship with them as well. Her father does not like this and because of me allowing Leona to see the family she loves, he's gone back on our agreement for the past 7 years of visitation in Summer being one week on one week of which brings us back into court.
Leona is old enough this go round to speak with the court appointed Guardian Ad Litem (child's lawyer) and we pray this will be a huge stepping stone into winning our case.
Leona needs a healthy, stable environment where she's able to be a kid. Where's she's able to see her family without worry. She also deserves counseling for her anxiety and nervous issues that are now causing her to do bodily harm. These lengthy custody hearings are very costly, and as a family of 5 it adds up quickly. Our attorney is 2 hours away as our case is in a different state and there's so much driving back and forth. Any small donation is greatly appreciated as we fight for Leona's happiness and health.
Organizer
Rachael Snyder Greedy
Organizer
Mesa, AZ
