Praying for Baby Bloomfield
Donation protected
This is the start of your sweet little story...
The part where your page meets mine...
No matter where your tale takes you tomorrow...
Our story will always read LOVE.
Some people know from a young age exactly what they want to be when they grow up, while other people dream about many different things they could be. I was one of those kids… first I wanted to be a vet, then a teacher, then a marine biologist, then a therapist, then a social worker. But above all of these, I wanted to be a mom.
Before Josh and I got married, we had many conversations about what we wanted in the future, and having a family was at the top of the list for both of us. After a year and a half of marriage, we decided we were ready to start our journey toward parenthood.
In March of 2006, after just one month of trying, I took a pregnancy test, and it was positive. I went to the doctor to get a blood test just to make sure, and the next morning I got the phone call… “Congratulations! You’re pregnant!” Over the next few days, we came up with about a dozen different ways to tell our family and friends that we were having a baby. But by the end of the week, I had miscarried. It’s amazing how you can plan a child’s entire life in a matter of days.
Josh and I were devastated by the miscarriage and it took me a few months to get emotionally ready to try again. We thought for sure getting pregnant a second time would be just as easy as the first time, but we were wrong. We tried for months with no luck. My doctor put me on progesterone, and when that didn’t work, I went on Clomid. That didn’t work either, so next was the HSG test, followed by laparoscopic surgery to check for endometriosis and clean out my fallopian tubes. We tried for a few more months on our own, but weren’t successful. The only other thing my doctor could do was refer us to a fertility specialist.
In January of 2011, we did our first round of IUI (intrauterine insemination). We were so excited and hopeful about this next step, and what a disappointment it was when it didn’t work. Our doctor recommended doing IUI two more times before discussing a next step. So we tried two more times, only to get bad news again. We had never really let ourselves think about what we would do if IUI didn’t work. We knew IVF was probably the next step, but we knew how expensive it was, and didn’t figure it would financially be an option for us. We hesitantly went into our consultation with our doctor, and he said exactly what were so afraid to hear…. IVF is the next step.
We took the next few weeks to process what our doctor had told us. After what we had already spent for IUI, where would we find $25,000 for IVF? After many conversations and lots of prayer, we knew that having a baby was something we wanted so badly, and were willing to do anything to make that dream come true. So we made the difficult decision to sell our home in order to pay for IVF. We moved in with my parents while our house was on the market, and it sold shortly after. We decided to down size and build a smaller home. While our home was being built, we began the extensive testing that is required before IVF. Blood draws, hormone checks, ultrasounds, and a very painful uterine biopsy.
Thankfully, our doctor didn’t find any reason to believe IVF would not work for us. Just one month after moving in to our new house, we did our first round of IVF. I had no idea what we were in for. Everyone has heard stories about IVF and how hard it is, but everyone’s experiences can be very different. It was extremely emotional, stressful and draining for both of us. Shots twice a day, pills, daily ultrasounds, hormones, an emotional rollercoaster, and the constant wonder and worry if it would even work. After the successful retrieval of 16 eggs, we became pretty hopeful, and the excitement started to build. But over the next few days, the updates on the embryos weren’t so great. The number of embryos that weren’t surviving was growing each day. On day three, I was called in for the embryo transfer. While a day three transfer is not ideal, it was best to get the embryos in because they weren’t surviving in the lab. Our doctor recommended transferring two embryos (the only two that were left from the original 16), because it would give us a higher chance of success. We took his recommendation and transferred both embryos.
This meant a few things… it meant that we had a higher chance of multiples, which was fine with us. It meant that we had a slightly higher chance of getting pregnant at all because we transferred two. But it also meant that if neither embryo attached, we would be left with nothing… we would not have any more embryos to transfer in the future. The following nine days felt like an eternity. Trying to focus at work and not constantly think about what the outcome would be was next to impossible. The day finally came for the blood test and our emotions were at an all-time high. After my blood test, we drove home and waited for the call. What if it doesn’t work? What will we do? How can we afford anything else? What if I am pregnant? How will we tell everyone? What if it’s twins? Every question and possible scenario ran through our minds. And then the phone call came… the test was negative. My head was spinning. I had no idea what to do or what to think. All I could do was sit down and cry. All of that for nothing? Why? Now what?
Less than a week later we were back in our doctor’s office discussing what happened and the next step. While the embryos we transferred were good quality, they just didn’t attach. So where do we go from here? At the time, I couldn’t even imagine going through all of that again… but that was the exact recommendation… to do it again! Our doctor explained that using different medications could increase the number of eggs produced, which could increase the number of embryos fertilized. While the plan seemed positive and a logical next step, we had no idea how we could afford it. Because we had no embryos left over from the first round, we would have to pay the entire $25,000 again, which seemed completely impossible. We needed time to think about everything and we needed a break. We took a few months off. We didn’t think about our situation, we didn’t talk about it, and we didn’t talk to anyone else about it. We just let it go for a few months. We needed time to evaluate everything, to relax, to have fun, and to clear our minds. I needed to emotionally heal from the pain and sadness we had been through, and I knew that taking any next step, whatever that may be, would not be beneficial until I was in a better place emotionally.
A few months later we got to a place where we were ready to talk about it and we could discuss possible options. How would we afford IVF again? What could we do to make it work? Somehow, some way, we figured it out. Through loans, refinancing, and being blessed with an amazing family who helped as much as possible, we were able to start IVF a second time. This time things seemed to go a little smoother, maybe because we knew what to expect. The shots seemed easier, the daily ultrasounds weren’t as big of a deal, and they were able to retrieve more eggs. We got our hopes up again. But the updates were the same as before… embryos aren’t developing, aren’t growing like they should, and aren’t surviving. Another day three transfer. Another nine days of complete distraction, worry, fear, and emotion, and another call with the news that I wasn’t pregnant. This news didn’t come any easier than it did the first time. And this time it was coupled with a lot of anger and confusion. Why wasn’t this working? Why can other people get pregnant and we can’t?
We met with our doctor again. He was able to determine that the issue was my eggs. For some reason, the quality of my eggs is just not good. It’s not anything that can be explained or fixed, which is so frustrating to hear. His next recommendation was to use an egg donor. We discussed what that entailed, the cost, and the process. At that moment, I thought our journey to have our own baby was over. The cost of using an egg donor is over $40,000. On top of that, it was a hard pill to swallow knowing that our baby would not be genetically mine. That was something I would have to process.
We were so overwhelmed with information, sadness, and grief, and we had to walk away from the situation again. This time, we took a much longer break. We took a trip to Mexico, we had fun with our friends, and we avoided the topic of IVF and anything baby related. While it was easy not to talk about it, it wasn’t easy to not think about it. We wanted a family more than anything and the complete frustration and sadness that it wasn’t happening for us was overwhelming.
After a six month break, we were ready to talk again. An egg donor added a whole new dimension to our journey. We spent many hours talking about our options and praying about what we should do next. How would we afford it? Was it even a possibility? Were we ok with using a donor?
In the end, we decided that using an egg donor was the best option for us at that point. I would still be able to carry the baby, which was extremely important to me. I am blessed with some amazing people in my life, and had two offers from very good friends who wanted to donate their eggs to us. Unfortunately, neither of them passed the screening for different reasons. This was very emotionally difficult for both of my friends as well as for us, and at that point, we decided that we needed to use an anonymous donor.
We began looking for a donor through an agency. We spent a few days searching the agencies and deciding what qualities we wanted in a donor. We chose a woman from Colorado who had every quality we were looking for. She seemed perfect. But she was in the middle of an egg donor cycle at the time, and if we wanted to move forward with her, we would have to wait a couple of months. We were so impressed with her and really wanted to move forward, so we waited. We got our finances in order, and took out a loan from Josh’s 401K. A couple of months later, she went to our doctor to go through all the required testing. Because she had just donated for another couple, it never crossed our minds that she would not pass the required tests for our doctor. But that’s exactly what happened.
We got a call that she was denied by our doctor due to a serious blood clotting disorder she had. While I was grateful that our doctor has extremely high standards for egg donors, the sadness that came over us when we realized we had hit yet another road block was extremely discouraging. The agency called me the same day and said they had a donor who had already passed all of the screening required by my doctor and had just finished a donor cycle and had done extremely well. They said the donor was interested in donating again, and if we wanted to use her as our donor, we would be given first right of refusal because our first donor had fallen through.
We spent some time reviewing her profile and decided she was a great match for us! We were finally getting excited again, and we could see a light at the end of tunnel! Our donor did amazingly well! They were able to retrieve 35 eggs, and 29 of them fertilized normally. We had lots of embryos, and were so excited! I had been taking all of the medications necessary to prepare my uterus for the embryos. We were thrilled to learn that the embryos were thriving and growing beautifully. This time, it was a day five transfer, and the embryos, according to our doctor, were almost perfect! He recommended only transferring one, as they were such high quality, and our chances of getting pregnant were high. We transferred one embryo and went into the next nine days with a positive and hopeful attitude. We had no reason to think this wouldn’t work. I was aware of every feeling in my body, wondering if the little feelings could be the embryo attaching. We began thinking again about how we would tell everyone we were pregnant. So needless to say, when the call came to let us know that our test was once again, negative, we were completely shocked.
Our doctor’s reaction was no different, and he had no explanation for why it didn’t work. Our frustration level was so high at this point, but we decided to move forward with another transfer in a couple of months. During those two months, we had long conversations about what our next step would be if this didn’t work. Adoption had always been an option for us, but we wanted to exhaust every avenue to have our own first. We decided that if the next round was unsuccessful, we would move on to adoption. So I started the shots for the fourth time, knowing that if this didn’t work, it was our last try. This was very bittersweet for me, as I was ready to be done with the chaos of IVF… the meds, the tests, the ultrasounds, the biopsies, the appointments, the consultations, and the procedures. But at the same, time, I knew it was the end of any possibility of us having a biological child of our own. We also knew that whatever the outcome was, it’s what was meant to be. For some reason, God took us down this path, and while we don’t understand it now, someday it will all make sense.
On our fourth transfer, we transferred two embryos, knowing that it was our last attempt. If that meant one baby or two, or more, we would be more than happy! The same anxiety and fear was present during the nine day waiting period. It was impossible to think about anything except the impending results of our upcoming test. On December 28, 2014, we made the hour and half drive down to Lone Tree to get the blood test. Within minutes of arriving back home, we received the call that we were, once again, not pregnant. There were so many emotions running through us… confusion, anger, sadness, and frustration. We gave ourselves the time we needed to process all of our emotions and deal with the grief we were feeling.
I can’t write this story without mentioning all of the incredible support we have received throughout our entire journey. Thank you doesn’t even being to convey the gratitude we feel toward our family and friends who have been by our sides the entire time. Those closest to us always seemed to know the best way to support us. Instead of saying “how are you” they say “just know we are here.” We always appreciated the plants, flowers, cupcakes, and cards that randomly showed up on our front porch after we got bad news. I loved the girls’ nights and the nights out with friends, which were just to let us know that we were surrounded by love and support. We greatly appreciated the text messages letting us know that it was understood that there were no words that could make us feel better… that was correct. I always wished there was something that someone could have said to lift the sadness from my heart… but there just isn’t anything that can help that, except time and faith. We know that once our family is complete, all of the struggle, heartache, and pain will fall away, and might even be forgotten. As long as we have our family, the hardship we faced to get it won’t matter.
We recently sold our house, again, to help with the financial aspect we will soon face with adoption. It is so heartbreaking to know that so many babies need homes, and the people who want and deserve them have to, often times, rearrange their lives to pay for the adoption. But as you all know, our desire to have a family will always outweigh any hardship it may cause. While asking for any kind of help has always been difficult for us, we have been reminded by those closest to us that their desire to help has been on their hearts for a long time. We are grateful for help of any kind, whether it is prayer, money, or the emotional support we have had for the past few years. Thank you for being part of our lives, and we are forever grateful for all of you!!
The part where your page meets mine...
No matter where your tale takes you tomorrow...
Our story will always read LOVE.
Some people know from a young age exactly what they want to be when they grow up, while other people dream about many different things they could be. I was one of those kids… first I wanted to be a vet, then a teacher, then a marine biologist, then a therapist, then a social worker. But above all of these, I wanted to be a mom.
Before Josh and I got married, we had many conversations about what we wanted in the future, and having a family was at the top of the list for both of us. After a year and a half of marriage, we decided we were ready to start our journey toward parenthood.
In March of 2006, after just one month of trying, I took a pregnancy test, and it was positive. I went to the doctor to get a blood test just to make sure, and the next morning I got the phone call… “Congratulations! You’re pregnant!” Over the next few days, we came up with about a dozen different ways to tell our family and friends that we were having a baby. But by the end of the week, I had miscarried. It’s amazing how you can plan a child’s entire life in a matter of days.
Josh and I were devastated by the miscarriage and it took me a few months to get emotionally ready to try again. We thought for sure getting pregnant a second time would be just as easy as the first time, but we were wrong. We tried for months with no luck. My doctor put me on progesterone, and when that didn’t work, I went on Clomid. That didn’t work either, so next was the HSG test, followed by laparoscopic surgery to check for endometriosis and clean out my fallopian tubes. We tried for a few more months on our own, but weren’t successful. The only other thing my doctor could do was refer us to a fertility specialist.
In January of 2011, we did our first round of IUI (intrauterine insemination). We were so excited and hopeful about this next step, and what a disappointment it was when it didn’t work. Our doctor recommended doing IUI two more times before discussing a next step. So we tried two more times, only to get bad news again. We had never really let ourselves think about what we would do if IUI didn’t work. We knew IVF was probably the next step, but we knew how expensive it was, and didn’t figure it would financially be an option for us. We hesitantly went into our consultation with our doctor, and he said exactly what were so afraid to hear…. IVF is the next step.
We took the next few weeks to process what our doctor had told us. After what we had already spent for IUI, where would we find $25,000 for IVF? After many conversations and lots of prayer, we knew that having a baby was something we wanted so badly, and were willing to do anything to make that dream come true. So we made the difficult decision to sell our home in order to pay for IVF. We moved in with my parents while our house was on the market, and it sold shortly after. We decided to down size and build a smaller home. While our home was being built, we began the extensive testing that is required before IVF. Blood draws, hormone checks, ultrasounds, and a very painful uterine biopsy.
Thankfully, our doctor didn’t find any reason to believe IVF would not work for us. Just one month after moving in to our new house, we did our first round of IVF. I had no idea what we were in for. Everyone has heard stories about IVF and how hard it is, but everyone’s experiences can be very different. It was extremely emotional, stressful and draining for both of us. Shots twice a day, pills, daily ultrasounds, hormones, an emotional rollercoaster, and the constant wonder and worry if it would even work. After the successful retrieval of 16 eggs, we became pretty hopeful, and the excitement started to build. But over the next few days, the updates on the embryos weren’t so great. The number of embryos that weren’t surviving was growing each day. On day three, I was called in for the embryo transfer. While a day three transfer is not ideal, it was best to get the embryos in because they weren’t surviving in the lab. Our doctor recommended transferring two embryos (the only two that were left from the original 16), because it would give us a higher chance of success. We took his recommendation and transferred both embryos.
This meant a few things… it meant that we had a higher chance of multiples, which was fine with us. It meant that we had a slightly higher chance of getting pregnant at all because we transferred two. But it also meant that if neither embryo attached, we would be left with nothing… we would not have any more embryos to transfer in the future. The following nine days felt like an eternity. Trying to focus at work and not constantly think about what the outcome would be was next to impossible. The day finally came for the blood test and our emotions were at an all-time high. After my blood test, we drove home and waited for the call. What if it doesn’t work? What will we do? How can we afford anything else? What if I am pregnant? How will we tell everyone? What if it’s twins? Every question and possible scenario ran through our minds. And then the phone call came… the test was negative. My head was spinning. I had no idea what to do or what to think. All I could do was sit down and cry. All of that for nothing? Why? Now what?
Less than a week later we were back in our doctor’s office discussing what happened and the next step. While the embryos we transferred were good quality, they just didn’t attach. So where do we go from here? At the time, I couldn’t even imagine going through all of that again… but that was the exact recommendation… to do it again! Our doctor explained that using different medications could increase the number of eggs produced, which could increase the number of embryos fertilized. While the plan seemed positive and a logical next step, we had no idea how we could afford it. Because we had no embryos left over from the first round, we would have to pay the entire $25,000 again, which seemed completely impossible. We needed time to think about everything and we needed a break. We took a few months off. We didn’t think about our situation, we didn’t talk about it, and we didn’t talk to anyone else about it. We just let it go for a few months. We needed time to evaluate everything, to relax, to have fun, and to clear our minds. I needed to emotionally heal from the pain and sadness we had been through, and I knew that taking any next step, whatever that may be, would not be beneficial until I was in a better place emotionally.
A few months later we got to a place where we were ready to talk about it and we could discuss possible options. How would we afford IVF again? What could we do to make it work? Somehow, some way, we figured it out. Through loans, refinancing, and being blessed with an amazing family who helped as much as possible, we were able to start IVF a second time. This time things seemed to go a little smoother, maybe because we knew what to expect. The shots seemed easier, the daily ultrasounds weren’t as big of a deal, and they were able to retrieve more eggs. We got our hopes up again. But the updates were the same as before… embryos aren’t developing, aren’t growing like they should, and aren’t surviving. Another day three transfer. Another nine days of complete distraction, worry, fear, and emotion, and another call with the news that I wasn’t pregnant. This news didn’t come any easier than it did the first time. And this time it was coupled with a lot of anger and confusion. Why wasn’t this working? Why can other people get pregnant and we can’t?
We met with our doctor again. He was able to determine that the issue was my eggs. For some reason, the quality of my eggs is just not good. It’s not anything that can be explained or fixed, which is so frustrating to hear. His next recommendation was to use an egg donor. We discussed what that entailed, the cost, and the process. At that moment, I thought our journey to have our own baby was over. The cost of using an egg donor is over $40,000. On top of that, it was a hard pill to swallow knowing that our baby would not be genetically mine. That was something I would have to process.
We were so overwhelmed with information, sadness, and grief, and we had to walk away from the situation again. This time, we took a much longer break. We took a trip to Mexico, we had fun with our friends, and we avoided the topic of IVF and anything baby related. While it was easy not to talk about it, it wasn’t easy to not think about it. We wanted a family more than anything and the complete frustration and sadness that it wasn’t happening for us was overwhelming.
After a six month break, we were ready to talk again. An egg donor added a whole new dimension to our journey. We spent many hours talking about our options and praying about what we should do next. How would we afford it? Was it even a possibility? Were we ok with using a donor?
In the end, we decided that using an egg donor was the best option for us at that point. I would still be able to carry the baby, which was extremely important to me. I am blessed with some amazing people in my life, and had two offers from very good friends who wanted to donate their eggs to us. Unfortunately, neither of them passed the screening for different reasons. This was very emotionally difficult for both of my friends as well as for us, and at that point, we decided that we needed to use an anonymous donor.
We began looking for a donor through an agency. We spent a few days searching the agencies and deciding what qualities we wanted in a donor. We chose a woman from Colorado who had every quality we were looking for. She seemed perfect. But she was in the middle of an egg donor cycle at the time, and if we wanted to move forward with her, we would have to wait a couple of months. We were so impressed with her and really wanted to move forward, so we waited. We got our finances in order, and took out a loan from Josh’s 401K. A couple of months later, she went to our doctor to go through all the required testing. Because she had just donated for another couple, it never crossed our minds that she would not pass the required tests for our doctor. But that’s exactly what happened.
We got a call that she was denied by our doctor due to a serious blood clotting disorder she had. While I was grateful that our doctor has extremely high standards for egg donors, the sadness that came over us when we realized we had hit yet another road block was extremely discouraging. The agency called me the same day and said they had a donor who had already passed all of the screening required by my doctor and had just finished a donor cycle and had done extremely well. They said the donor was interested in donating again, and if we wanted to use her as our donor, we would be given first right of refusal because our first donor had fallen through.
We spent some time reviewing her profile and decided she was a great match for us! We were finally getting excited again, and we could see a light at the end of tunnel! Our donor did amazingly well! They were able to retrieve 35 eggs, and 29 of them fertilized normally. We had lots of embryos, and were so excited! I had been taking all of the medications necessary to prepare my uterus for the embryos. We were thrilled to learn that the embryos were thriving and growing beautifully. This time, it was a day five transfer, and the embryos, according to our doctor, were almost perfect! He recommended only transferring one, as they were such high quality, and our chances of getting pregnant were high. We transferred one embryo and went into the next nine days with a positive and hopeful attitude. We had no reason to think this wouldn’t work. I was aware of every feeling in my body, wondering if the little feelings could be the embryo attaching. We began thinking again about how we would tell everyone we were pregnant. So needless to say, when the call came to let us know that our test was once again, negative, we were completely shocked.
Our doctor’s reaction was no different, and he had no explanation for why it didn’t work. Our frustration level was so high at this point, but we decided to move forward with another transfer in a couple of months. During those two months, we had long conversations about what our next step would be if this didn’t work. Adoption had always been an option for us, but we wanted to exhaust every avenue to have our own first. We decided that if the next round was unsuccessful, we would move on to adoption. So I started the shots for the fourth time, knowing that if this didn’t work, it was our last try. This was very bittersweet for me, as I was ready to be done with the chaos of IVF… the meds, the tests, the ultrasounds, the biopsies, the appointments, the consultations, and the procedures. But at the same, time, I knew it was the end of any possibility of us having a biological child of our own. We also knew that whatever the outcome was, it’s what was meant to be. For some reason, God took us down this path, and while we don’t understand it now, someday it will all make sense.
On our fourth transfer, we transferred two embryos, knowing that it was our last attempt. If that meant one baby or two, or more, we would be more than happy! The same anxiety and fear was present during the nine day waiting period. It was impossible to think about anything except the impending results of our upcoming test. On December 28, 2014, we made the hour and half drive down to Lone Tree to get the blood test. Within minutes of arriving back home, we received the call that we were, once again, not pregnant. There were so many emotions running through us… confusion, anger, sadness, and frustration. We gave ourselves the time we needed to process all of our emotions and deal with the grief we were feeling.
I can’t write this story without mentioning all of the incredible support we have received throughout our entire journey. Thank you doesn’t even being to convey the gratitude we feel toward our family and friends who have been by our sides the entire time. Those closest to us always seemed to know the best way to support us. Instead of saying “how are you” they say “just know we are here.” We always appreciated the plants, flowers, cupcakes, and cards that randomly showed up on our front porch after we got bad news. I loved the girls’ nights and the nights out with friends, which were just to let us know that we were surrounded by love and support. We greatly appreciated the text messages letting us know that it was understood that there were no words that could make us feel better… that was correct. I always wished there was something that someone could have said to lift the sadness from my heart… but there just isn’t anything that can help that, except time and faith. We know that once our family is complete, all of the struggle, heartache, and pain will fall away, and might even be forgotten. As long as we have our family, the hardship we faced to get it won’t matter.
We recently sold our house, again, to help with the financial aspect we will soon face with adoption. It is so heartbreaking to know that so many babies need homes, and the people who want and deserve them have to, often times, rearrange their lives to pay for the adoption. But as you all know, our desire to have a family will always outweigh any hardship it may cause. While asking for any kind of help has always been difficult for us, we have been reminded by those closest to us that their desire to help has been on their hearts for a long time. We are grateful for help of any kind, whether it is prayer, money, or the emotional support we have had for the past few years. Thank you for being part of our lives, and we are forever grateful for all of you!!
Organizer
Missy Bloomfield
Organizer
Windsor, CO
