Bring Our Little Man Home

On March 6, 2014, I became a victim of infidelity. My husband came home that evening and dropped a bombshell on me. He told me had been having an affair, fell in love with the whore, and, no, he didn't want to fix the marriage. Then he packed a bag and left. That's it. My whole world shattered that evening. I was left sitting in shock, disbelief, anger, and confusion.

That very same morning I received an email that my blog had been nominated for one of the top 10 Food Blogs for 2014. I was so, so happy!!! Finally my blog was heading in the direction I had been working hard on getting it to!! I was dancing. I was happy. I was screaming with excitement!! I was so happy that morning. Little did I know my world was actually falling apart around me at that moment and I didn't even know it.

Crazy how in just one day, a person can go to being on top of the world to being utterly lost and scared to death of life. I had been married once before and that marriage also ended because of infidelity. That one was hard for me to deal with as I instantly became a single mother with a young child. However, that first marriage was a very short one and I had already been on my own for almost a year so I healed faster in terms of being able to function on a daily basis. That trust that was broken by my “first love” caused me to be on my own for almost ten years. It took that long before I felt ready enough to try to trust and love again.

So fast forward another 11 years and I was so very happily married to my best friend and soul mate. Or so I thought. He never told me why. He never told me what was wrong. I never knew “we” were having issues. Still to this day, I don't know what happened. He just walked out the door.

After being together almost 11 years, I had allowed myself to become totally dependent on him. He was the main bread winner and my income was just supplementing his. Everything we had was in his name alone. I blindly gave him all my delicate trust when I fell deeply in love with him. I never once thought twice about any of that because I honestly never thought that he wasn't my forever. I just saw us growing old together, enjoying some grandkids, and spending our golden years reminiscing about that crazy but wonderful life we had spent together. We had some pretty amazing memories from those first 10 years together – I never thought it would just end.

But it did. He just walked out that door. He walked away from everything. I was left sitting here surrounded by our memories and his stuff. To say I was blindsided is putting it mildly. Not only was I left sitting in shock, hurt, disbelief – oh so many emotions – I was consumed with fear. I had no idea how on earth I was going to take care of myself financially. I didn't know how I was going to go to work in the morning and put on a smile for my kiddos at school. I didn't know if I could even look at anyone in the eye because I was afraid they'd see whatever it is that's wrong with me that would cause my husband to just walk away.

One of the things he said to me that night he destroyed my heart was: “you're strong and can handle this”. Really??? Say that while you're slowly turning a knife in my heart??

Now, amost a year later, I can say Damn Right!!! I AM strong enough to handle this!!! I do still have nightmares at times, I still suffer from anxiety attacks, I still have down days, I still cry from time to time, and I still wonder what happened, but I AM moving on. I am functioning. I have accepted what has happened and that, subsequently, I've been diagnosed with PTSD which I need to be medicated for. I'm still not at complete peace with it though. I still can't forgive. That may take years, but you know what?? I will be okay. I did nothing wrong to deserve what happened and the position I was left in.

And what was I left in?  A house that was falling apart on the day he left me:


There are numerous roof leaks, most of my appliances don't work - I haven't been able to cook in an oven for over 3 years now - most of the light fixtures half work (I use a heat lamp in my bedroom for light),...


...the plumbing barely works (I am down to one bathroom that functions), and most disturbing/embarrassing of all is that this place is over ridden with bugs.


This is what he left me in!

Now, I'm moving out and moving on (AND up!!) and need a little extra help.  After getting things in place to finally have credit again, I have been pre-approved for a home!  ME - a homeowner all by myself!!  I can hardly believe it, but I am oh, so happy!!

I am currently working three jobs to help make ends meet and I'm still struggling to get a good savings in place that I need for earnest money, a down payment, house inspection fees, possible closing costs, and last, but certainly not least - furniture and appliances for my new home.  I cannot take anything out of this place because it has been basically destroyed by the bug issue.

I'm usually fiercly indepedent; however, after everything I've gone through in this past year, I have learned that it's okay to ask for help.  I couldn't have made it this far without my friends, family, and even strangers.  Now I'm reaching out even further.  Your help will truly get me over this last hurdle to the next, even better, chapter of my life!  I will be forever grateful for any funds donated and make a promise that, when I'm able to, I will repay this kindness  shown to me during my time of need to others down the road who may find themselves in a situation like mine.

PS - in case you're wondering – That Crafty Lunch Lady did make the top 10 Food Blogs for 2014 AND my blog is now also featured on TheBesty - a website that helps you discover the best restaurants and dishes in your city and when you travel based on input from bloggers.

Life is getting better by the day!!

Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

"Try to be the rainbow in someone's cloud." - Mary Angelou