A Farm-Fresh Start
Donation protected
HELP SECURE A FUTURE FOR THE HAWTHORN HOMESTEAD
OUR STORY:
You may know me on Instagram or tumblr (formerly) as teenylittleparadigmshift - a name I picked to represent, in the most positive but real way I could, an unexpected and unwitting change in careers and lifepaths after a work-related concussion that never went away. Now we just call that concussion what it was: a traumatic brain injury.
Three years after the injury itself, with as much help from providers as they can give for where I’m at, I’m lucky to be someone that makes people go, “I wouldn’t have guessed” - but I also can’t work even a part-time job on a schedule (I kept trying) and am now on disability. I’m also very stubborn, very restless, and very much want to be self-sufficient.
So, I farm. Sort of. That is to say, because we don’t yet have a home of our own, our “homestead” is split between a raised bed, a porch, and a very graciously-bartered ⅓ of an acre a half an hour away, near my fiance Bumblebae’s job. We have bees, some raised beds that aren’t quite finished, lots of fertile soil...and lots of little need-fixings that become big ones.
OUR DREAM:
Self-sufficiency. Doesn’t that sound nice? I’m not even talking off-grid so much as feeling like I can still contribute to the household and the direction of my own future. When you get SSDI (the kind of disability payment that’s based on how much you’ve made through working) it feels like an assessment of your worth as a person - but here’s the thing. I’ve always considered my work to be based in service to other people. That means terms of service through federal programs that didn’t count as “income”, many years of working for the family business just to help, and the rest mostly in education and social work, which pays more in feelings than financials. So what I get each month is minimal. If we didn’t have debt, most of which we had no control over (explained in a sec), that added to Bumblebae’s income would be just enough to get by.
But self-sufficiency isn’t just my dream for myself. It’s my dream for everyone. I started a Patreon to share everything I’m learning along the way - almost like a “farm-along” - through videos of field walk-throughs and beehive inspections, zines for each season, Q-and-A sessions, and more. But I quickly realized two things: 1, that my disability doesn’t give me enough energy to do these things AND focus on keeping our heads above water, and 2, that I don’t want to charge people for these things. I want to share them freely with the people who might need it but not have the extra to pay. I want to help add resources, not charge for them.
Here are some examples of the kinds of field-walkthrough videos , short glimpses , video notes and to-do-lists , and zine content I want to make free to everyone.
The BIG dream is that having the right materials will help us grow in abundance, so that we can grow MORE than we need and bring the surplus straight to local survival centers, food pantries, and soup kitchens.
OUR NEEDS:
I’m a bargain-hunter, a freecycler, a re-user, an avid craigslist browser. I get as much as I can for free or barter and make magic out of other people’s trash - garden benches out of pallets, an irrigation system in progress out of cat litter jugs and bicycle tubes, and plant starters, containers, and protectors out of whatever I save from our recycle bin. But sometimes even that’s not enough - sometimes you have to spend money. And with all that I’ve been able to save us in start-up costs, we’ve hit a point that requires investment that we just don’t have. Again, disability is a minimal and very fixed income and - as you’re about to read - Bumblebae has had some challenges to their income, too.
BARRIERS:
Over the last year, unexpected medical costs for both myself and my fiance have totalled over $3000, with ongoing treatment and follow-up costs of at least $1000. I don’t know if you’ve ever had a medical emergency that can’t be immediately fixed, but it’s never just the medical costs you contend with - it’s also the costs of things like missed work, which means putting things like gas and grocery on the credit card, or premade food when you’re both too sick or hurting to cook (which we both love and prefer to do). And over time, that and the added interest adds up to another thousand or more.
This is on top of the equally unexpected need to replace our vehicle just two months before the year started - we still have $1000 left on that loan. And now a student loan that stopped taking money from paychecks and couldn’t be located is apparently not paid off, but sold off multiple times and come knocking.
So before we can put any more into something that in the long run will mean feeding ourselves and in the present does really good things for my physical health and sense of purpose, we need to take care of these very immediate monsters.
WHY NOT JUST….
GET A LOAN? Some of the personal loans I’ve applied for under MY name won’t consider me because I’m technically unemployed, even though I have a monthly income. Others, even with mine and Bumblebae’s income combined, can’t give us a loan that would cover ALL our needs but have offered smaller loans with shorter terms...and monthly payments that are bigger than what we’re already paying.
GET EDUCATION INSTEAD OF THIS TRIAL-AND-ERROR? Believe it or not (and right now I know it’s hard to believe) I do have some knowledge and experience - but this year we got the opportunity to use a different, much larger piece of land that hadn’t been used in two years, which meant minimal information about what kind of hazards (like wildlife or poison ivy) we’d be working with. Between that and really weird weather that sent even seasoned local farms into a little bit of a rush to adjust, it’s been a rough year. In that sense, all farming is at least a little bit of a risk.
As for education - I would love to. It isn’t even a matter of money. In fact, there’s a really incredible program literally down the road from where Bumblebae works. But, because of the effects of the TBI, I can’t read large portions of text, and even if I was able to take in the texts (in little pieces or via audio), I have problems taking in and retaining large amounts of information. I can also only go for an hour or hour and a half at a time, and most classes even if I audit are three hours long, minimum. I’ve been SUPER lucky to get a half-cost scholarship to a local conference that WILL be giving me access to education I desperately crave, in a format (hour-and-a-half long workshops) I might be able to handle. So that will give next year’s crops (and this year’s set-up and short-season cool weather ones) a huge boost.
GET MONEY FROM YOUR FAMILY? Without going into details, let’s just say it’s complicated and, in the amounts we need to get back to paycheck-to-paycheck, not an option.
GET A SMALL FARM LOAN? Most small farm or agriculture loans require a certain amount of time on the land, OR proof of education in the field (no pun intended), AND that you be some level of small business or commercial endeavor, not a homestead.
SO WHERE’S MY MONEY GOING?
If you keep on scrolling you can see a breakdown of exactly what’s being paid off, and what the money will be going to moving forward.
HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SUPPORT YOURSELF MOVING FORWARD?
Without the focus being on staying afloat AND having the materials we need to do this right, we’ll be able to not only more effectively tend the land but also put more attention into projects that can bring in revenue, like physical copies of zines and how-to guides, dried floral merchandise, seed packets, carpentry, etc.
WHAT DO I GET? IS THIS JUST A CHARITABLE THING?
No! You can choose to make this an investment! We’re including perks that go along with different levels of said investment - from discounts on physical merchandise we’re able to produce later to small tokens of appreciation in the now, from ongoing perks like letter-writing about the land to one-time event offers like coming for a visit with the bees, the plants, and us!
WHAT IF I ONLY WANT TO DONATE WITHOUT THAT EXTRA STUFF?
You can absolutely do that too! Please accept our thanks and know that you can still keep up with our goings-on via Instagram if you want to stay involved!
THE NUMBERS: A breakdown of how money's been spent, how it's going to be spent, and what's happened this season both farm and personal that made us look to outside help. (Opens a Google Doc.)
OUR STORY:
You may know me on Instagram or tumblr (formerly) as teenylittleparadigmshift - a name I picked to represent, in the most positive but real way I could, an unexpected and unwitting change in careers and lifepaths after a work-related concussion that never went away. Now we just call that concussion what it was: a traumatic brain injury.
Three years after the injury itself, with as much help from providers as they can give for where I’m at, I’m lucky to be someone that makes people go, “I wouldn’t have guessed” - but I also can’t work even a part-time job on a schedule (I kept trying) and am now on disability. I’m also very stubborn, very restless, and very much want to be self-sufficient.
So, I farm. Sort of. That is to say, because we don’t yet have a home of our own, our “homestead” is split between a raised bed, a porch, and a very graciously-bartered ⅓ of an acre a half an hour away, near my fiance Bumblebae’s job. We have bees, some raised beds that aren’t quite finished, lots of fertile soil...and lots of little need-fixings that become big ones.
OUR DREAM:
Self-sufficiency. Doesn’t that sound nice? I’m not even talking off-grid so much as feeling like I can still contribute to the household and the direction of my own future. When you get SSDI (the kind of disability payment that’s based on how much you’ve made through working) it feels like an assessment of your worth as a person - but here’s the thing. I’ve always considered my work to be based in service to other people. That means terms of service through federal programs that didn’t count as “income”, many years of working for the family business just to help, and the rest mostly in education and social work, which pays more in feelings than financials. So what I get each month is minimal. If we didn’t have debt, most of which we had no control over (explained in a sec), that added to Bumblebae’s income would be just enough to get by.
But self-sufficiency isn’t just my dream for myself. It’s my dream for everyone. I started a Patreon to share everything I’m learning along the way - almost like a “farm-along” - through videos of field walk-throughs and beehive inspections, zines for each season, Q-and-A sessions, and more. But I quickly realized two things: 1, that my disability doesn’t give me enough energy to do these things AND focus on keeping our heads above water, and 2, that I don’t want to charge people for these things. I want to share them freely with the people who might need it but not have the extra to pay. I want to help add resources, not charge for them.
Here are some examples of the kinds of field-walkthrough videos , short glimpses , video notes and to-do-lists , and zine content I want to make free to everyone.
The BIG dream is that having the right materials will help us grow in abundance, so that we can grow MORE than we need and bring the surplus straight to local survival centers, food pantries, and soup kitchens.
OUR NEEDS:
I’m a bargain-hunter, a freecycler, a re-user, an avid craigslist browser. I get as much as I can for free or barter and make magic out of other people’s trash - garden benches out of pallets, an irrigation system in progress out of cat litter jugs and bicycle tubes, and plant starters, containers, and protectors out of whatever I save from our recycle bin. But sometimes even that’s not enough - sometimes you have to spend money. And with all that I’ve been able to save us in start-up costs, we’ve hit a point that requires investment that we just don’t have. Again, disability is a minimal and very fixed income and - as you’re about to read - Bumblebae has had some challenges to their income, too.
BARRIERS:
Over the last year, unexpected medical costs for both myself and my fiance have totalled over $3000, with ongoing treatment and follow-up costs of at least $1000. I don’t know if you’ve ever had a medical emergency that can’t be immediately fixed, but it’s never just the medical costs you contend with - it’s also the costs of things like missed work, which means putting things like gas and grocery on the credit card, or premade food when you’re both too sick or hurting to cook (which we both love and prefer to do). And over time, that and the added interest adds up to another thousand or more.
This is on top of the equally unexpected need to replace our vehicle just two months before the year started - we still have $1000 left on that loan. And now a student loan that stopped taking money from paychecks and couldn’t be located is apparently not paid off, but sold off multiple times and come knocking.
So before we can put any more into something that in the long run will mean feeding ourselves and in the present does really good things for my physical health and sense of purpose, we need to take care of these very immediate monsters.
WHY NOT JUST….
GET A LOAN? Some of the personal loans I’ve applied for under MY name won’t consider me because I’m technically unemployed, even though I have a monthly income. Others, even with mine and Bumblebae’s income combined, can’t give us a loan that would cover ALL our needs but have offered smaller loans with shorter terms...and monthly payments that are bigger than what we’re already paying.
GET EDUCATION INSTEAD OF THIS TRIAL-AND-ERROR? Believe it or not (and right now I know it’s hard to believe) I do have some knowledge and experience - but this year we got the opportunity to use a different, much larger piece of land that hadn’t been used in two years, which meant minimal information about what kind of hazards (like wildlife or poison ivy) we’d be working with. Between that and really weird weather that sent even seasoned local farms into a little bit of a rush to adjust, it’s been a rough year. In that sense, all farming is at least a little bit of a risk.
As for education - I would love to. It isn’t even a matter of money. In fact, there’s a really incredible program literally down the road from where Bumblebae works. But, because of the effects of the TBI, I can’t read large portions of text, and even if I was able to take in the texts (in little pieces or via audio), I have problems taking in and retaining large amounts of information. I can also only go for an hour or hour and a half at a time, and most classes even if I audit are three hours long, minimum. I’ve been SUPER lucky to get a half-cost scholarship to a local conference that WILL be giving me access to education I desperately crave, in a format (hour-and-a-half long workshops) I might be able to handle. So that will give next year’s crops (and this year’s set-up and short-season cool weather ones) a huge boost.
GET MONEY FROM YOUR FAMILY? Without going into details, let’s just say it’s complicated and, in the amounts we need to get back to paycheck-to-paycheck, not an option.
GET A SMALL FARM LOAN? Most small farm or agriculture loans require a certain amount of time on the land, OR proof of education in the field (no pun intended), AND that you be some level of small business or commercial endeavor, not a homestead.
SO WHERE’S MY MONEY GOING?
If you keep on scrolling you can see a breakdown of exactly what’s being paid off, and what the money will be going to moving forward.
HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SUPPORT YOURSELF MOVING FORWARD?
Without the focus being on staying afloat AND having the materials we need to do this right, we’ll be able to not only more effectively tend the land but also put more attention into projects that can bring in revenue, like physical copies of zines and how-to guides, dried floral merchandise, seed packets, carpentry, etc.
WHAT DO I GET? IS THIS JUST A CHARITABLE THING?
No! You can choose to make this an investment! We’re including perks that go along with different levels of said investment - from discounts on physical merchandise we’re able to produce later to small tokens of appreciation in the now, from ongoing perks like letter-writing about the land to one-time event offers like coming for a visit with the bees, the plants, and us!
WHAT IF I ONLY WANT TO DONATE WITHOUT THAT EXTRA STUFF?
You can absolutely do that too! Please accept our thanks and know that you can still keep up with our goings-on via Instagram if you want to stay involved!
THE NUMBERS: A breakdown of how money's been spent, how it's going to be spent, and what's happened this season both farm and personal that made us look to outside help. (Opens a Google Doc.)
Organizer
Jo Goodman
Organizer
Amherst, MA