Help Stella to Stay at Home

This fund aims to assist in living expenses for my grandmother, Stella Cole. At 88, she has some medical issues, but is able to remain in her home with assistance.  As you can imagine, this in-home care is quite expensive, but it provides Grandma a better quality-of-life than living in a nursing facility.  Read below to learn more about my independent and hardworking grandmother, who deserves the dignity of living the remainder of her days as she chooses.

Stella Cole was born in Rock Hill, SC, in 1927. She was the fourth child and first daughter to mill workers, Otis and Flonnie Jane. Twin brothers came along in 1930. With so many mouths to feed and both parents working at the mill, Stella learned to work hard at a young age.

In 1944, Grandma married a local boy five years her senior, who had joined the Navy. Jay Gladden took his young bride to Okracoke Island, NC, where he was stationed. Their first child, Stephanie, came along soon. The child's poor health and developmental disabilities required frequent doctor visits to the mainland.

Stella loved her husband, but there were problems in the marriage.  Despite a rocky relationship with Jay, Stella became pregnant for a second time in 1946.  It was not happy news toJay. Stella found out years later that Jay had been in relationships with men for years, even while married to his young bride.  In 1947, Jay sent a heavily pregnant Stella back to her family in Rock Hill, and refused to give support to Stephanie and the unborn child.

Being divorced in 1947 with two young children, one disabled, might have broken an ordinary woman. Not Stella. Stella went to work for the phone company in York County while continuing to live with her parents in Rock Hill. Eventually she met a man named Bill Cole at his furniture store. They married in 1955, giving 10-year-old Stephanie and 8-year-old Cheryl a doting stepfather. The new family moved to Lugoff.

Stella worked a variety of jobs until landing a position at the newly built Kershaw County Hospital in 1958. Bill worked at Dupont. They saved until they could purchase property to build a home in Camden. The children grew up on Gardner Street, and the family was content.

Cheryl married in 1968 and moved to Charleston. Bill's health had been declining for some time, and Stella added his caregiving needs to burdens she already carried, between caring for Stephanie and working full time.  Bill died in 1971, leaving Stella with heavy debt and years of mortgage payments ahead of her.  Stella needed help with Stephanie and still had to keep the bills paid. She moved Stephanie to a state facility nearby, and immersed herself in work at Kershaw Hospital.

In 1985, the house was finally paid off, and Stella retired a year later. She brought Stephanie home to live on Gardner Street.  Over the years, both Stella and Stephanie juggled health problems, house repairs, and Hurricane Hugo.  They always managed to keep life going in their little house in Camden.  

By the time Stella was in her late70s, it had become too difficult to care for Stephanie on her own.  Grandma's health was poor and her body was tired.  Stephanie returned to a state group home in Columbia, and Stella focused on her own health.  It was painful for Stella to live without Stephanie, but she was determined to take care of herself and keep their home.

In 2012, after a brief hospitalization, the county social services agency became involved in Grandma's life.  It was not welcome involvement. Anyone who knew Stella knew that that she was fiercely independent and sharp as a tack. On a Friday afternoon, she met at her front door two social workers, paramedics, and four armed police officers who had a judge's order for her to be taken into "protective" custody.

Based on the opinion of said social workers, Judge Smalls in Kershaw County immediately determined that Stella was in grave danger because she lived alone at the age of 86, and must immediately be taken to the emergency room for evaluation and care.  A mental acuity test passed with flying colors just two months prior was ignored.  Google "The Story Behind 'Free Stella Cole' " for more information.

Stella was freed on November 4, 2012, from state custody, but she agreed to accept occasional in-home assistance.  

For the past three years, Stella and I have pieced together and paid privately for individuals to come in to grocery shop, do light housekeeping, take her to doctors' appointments, and more recently, assist in personal care.  Stella is sometimes confused about the date, and she forgets things from time to time, but she is firm in her determination to stay in her own home until she draws her last breath.  She is diagnosed with COPD and Abbey Road Hospice is involved in her care.  Nonetheless, Stella requires additional care throughout the day that must be paid for out of pocket.  

This is where GoFundMe comes in.   We, Stella and I, are running out of money to pay these caregivers, and there are limited resources available.  It costs approximately $450 per week to have two aides stay with Stella for about 8 hours per day.  Stella's monthly income is $1004, and I am a moderately paid public school teacher.  While Stella is blissfully unaware of the urgency of the situation, I wonder what I will have to sell or borrow to keep her going in her home.  

Stella has lived proudly and independently for over 88 years now.....it would break her heart to be be moved out of her home for her remaining days.  The requested $6000 would pay for about three months of in-home assistance.  It would allow some breathing room for me, while I continue to juggle finances.

I can't imagine Stella losing her home now.  She worked too hard for everything that she has...the American Dream.  In the attached photo, taken in June 2015, Stella had just walked out onto her front porch, refusing her oxygen and declining my assistance.  She said, "I am not an invalid; old people are invalids."  That's my Grandma.....independent.

Any donations are gratefully accepted.  Thank you for reading.