BJ's Battle with Stage4 Lung Cancer

My husband BJ has Lung Cancer. I am only familiar with my husband’s specific type of lung cancer, and his specific treatments and doctors. But I think Lung cancer is one of the only cancers where people tend to ‘blame’ the patient for getting it. “oh, lung cancer, how long has he smoked?” or “ya, smoking will kill you.” These may seem like ridiculously rude comments, and I agree, but they are real remarks by real people! Just to clear the air, my husband is a Non Smoker. I would never ask similar questions to a patient, because  A) it’s none of my business and  B) even if he smokes, does that mean he deserves the cancer diagnosis he’s received? My answer is a strong No. Smoker or Non – no one is ready for a Cancer Diagnosis.

Our daughter Ellie was not yet 2 years old. Our son Ryder was exactly 6 weeks old to the day when my family’s life was turned upside-down. I described it as a whirlwind as BJ was getting a precautionary MRI for waves of dizziness he’d had for several months. We thought Vertigo. Turns out there were 2 tumors in BJ’s brain. They called them Lesions at the time. One tumor was in the front of the brain, the other on the back of his brain, specifically on the top of his spinal cord. It was the cause of all the dizziness, as well as other seemingly minor symptoms he’d been having. When I went to pick BJ up in the hospital with our two Babies, he was in tears. “I have 2 lesions on my brain,” he said. Completely confused I replied “Like, from hockey?” My husband was an avid hockey player in his day, and continued to play recreationally – so I was thinking lesions, as in a gash or blow to the head. “No, like tumors. Cancer.” he corrected me. That was it: Cancer. The word echoed in my mind over and over. Cancer. Cancer? Shielding my 1 year old from Mama’s tears I grabbed by husband and melted into him – our life was forever changed. 

My husband was ambulanced to Kingston Hospital, where he stayed for two full weeks undergoing numerous tests, scans, and a biopsy. When we left the hospital, treatment plan in hand, we were told to Go Home and “get your Affairs in Order”. I am glad my mommy-brain allowed me to not grasp the full meaning of those words in that exact moment.

It has been over 2 years since BJ’s diagnosis. It seems like yesterday, and forever-ago all in the same thought. Our son is the perfect measure of BJ’s Battle, and Ryder is two and a half now. Since the hospital, we discovered that BJ’s cancer originated in his lungs, progressed to his brain in two spots, and a few spots in his bone as well. Most recently, we believe it to have moved to his Lymph’s in his groin area due to severe pain, swelling and fatigue. He’s undergone scans and tests including a biopsy to confirm Lymph's in his groin and stomach are cancerous, as well as several additional spots in his bones, including spine, neck, pelvis, skull, and chest/ribs. The brain tumours have also increased in both size and number. BJ is not able to work during this time, due to pain, fatigue, and overall weakness.

Writing this all down in sequence – it sounds really terrible, but I have to say all n’ all we manage very well. We attribute this to our Faith and our unconditional Love for each other. 

We have been extremely blessed in BJ's early diagnosis days with fundraiser events, generous donations, and outpours of support with meals, love and prayers. It has been 2.5 years since we had desperate needs – but with BJ not working again – our previous donation funds are gone.

Going down to one income, in general, is extremely difficult. We don’t live a lavish life by any means, but we have two young children – and they come with their own demands as many parents understand. We are more than just down to one income. We are down to one income, plus the cost of Cancer. Driving to treatments and appointments out of town, eating Whole foods, high quality suppliments and natural treatments. We are careful to what we put in our bodies, both food and air wise for our entire family. 

It is never easy to ask for help, but here I am, asking for help! Please consider helping our family. My husband is a strong, loving man and was the primary bread winner of our family. If our story has moved you, and it is on your heart, please donate to BJ’s Battle and help my husband BJ by encouraging him, praying for him, and sending your love.

Thank you for reading our story. For continuing updates, please “Follow Us” and “Like Us” on Facebook at BJ’s Battle: www.facebook.com/BJsBattle

Together We Are Strong.
So Sincerely,
Suzanna along with Husband BJ, Ellie Anna (4), and Ryder James (2.5)
in Ontario, Canada