No More
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This March I was honored to be named Miss Minnesota International. Through this journey I have been given multiple opportunities to speak to different groups on domestic violence and I hope that my story is able to help educate women in similar situations that there is a way out, and that you can say No More.
Summer 2015 I will be competing in Miss International Florida to speak on my platform and educate more people on the effects domestic abused. In America, over 4 million women are assaulted by their partners and more than 3 million children witness domestic abuse in the home. There is something we can do. We can stand together, lift one another up and create a support system for these women and families. The honor of Miss Minnesota and the journey it has taken me on however, is completely self-funded. With your help I hope to be able to be a voice for the cause and work towards ending domestic violence.
Here's a piece of my story:
I was born in in the projects of the Bronx. Growing up my father was physically abusive towards my mother, siblings and I. This period in my life was very difficult for my family and created some long term pain that I wouldn't be able to fully face until decades later. Because of the issues in my home life I developed into a very quiet and withdrawn child. As the years continued my home life became increasingly worse. Somehow, my mother found the strength to leave and was able to divorce my father. She chose to better her life for our sakes and put herself through nursing school. Once she was more financially capable, we packed up and moved to Minnesota for a fresh start.
In Minnesota I was able to have a more normal childhood. I was at a new school, made new friends and I was given the opportunity to try new things. All was well for a while. Once in high school I began to experience some of the side effects of being abused as a child. I was angry all the time and I began to resent my mother for my experiences. I became depressed, constantly struggling with various forms of anxiety. Sports became my outlet. I was a two-sport athlete in track and volleyball. I would avoid my issues by staying fully engaged in my activities, and fully withdrawn from my family and my inner demons.
When I started college I thought things would be better. Once again I found myself in a new school with a fresh environment. I was still dealing with my depression and anxiety but I continued to find ways to cope with the loneliness. It was about that time when I met my college boyfriend. Like most stories, at first things were perfect. But as the relationship progressed he became controlling, jealous, and verbally aggressive. Eventually this grew into both physical and emotional abuse. The man I thought I knew became a complete stranger. As time went on the abuse became worse. Upon visiting a local church, I began to realize this was not the life God had planned for me. After struggling for too long, I was able to leave my abuser and sought refuge at a women’s shelter. I ended up spending one month at the Alexandra House women’s shelter. I took that time to utilize the resources provided which was a great help in helping to pick up the pieces and find myself again. With the help of Alexandra House I am proud to say I moved to Duluth, MN.
God has given me a new sense of hope. He has pulled me out of the darkness and into the light. When I moved to Duluth I made a promise to myself that I would do everything in my power to educate and raise awareness so that people would not have to endure what I have. I am proud to say I am an advocate for the “No More” campaign, which fights to prevent and end Domestic Violence and sexual assault against women and children. My goal as a survivor is to continue to provide resources for victims and empower our future generations to break the cycle of violence before it begins. I am living proof that there is life after abuse, and it is never too late to rewrite your story.
Summer 2015 I will be competing in Miss International Florida to speak on my platform and educate more people on the effects domestic abused. In America, over 4 million women are assaulted by their partners and more than 3 million children witness domestic abuse in the home. There is something we can do. We can stand together, lift one another up and create a support system for these women and families. The honor of Miss Minnesota and the journey it has taken me on however, is completely self-funded. With your help I hope to be able to be a voice for the cause and work towards ending domestic violence.
Here's a piece of my story:
I was born in in the projects of the Bronx. Growing up my father was physically abusive towards my mother, siblings and I. This period in my life was very difficult for my family and created some long term pain that I wouldn't be able to fully face until decades later. Because of the issues in my home life I developed into a very quiet and withdrawn child. As the years continued my home life became increasingly worse. Somehow, my mother found the strength to leave and was able to divorce my father. She chose to better her life for our sakes and put herself through nursing school. Once she was more financially capable, we packed up and moved to Minnesota for a fresh start.
In Minnesota I was able to have a more normal childhood. I was at a new school, made new friends and I was given the opportunity to try new things. All was well for a while. Once in high school I began to experience some of the side effects of being abused as a child. I was angry all the time and I began to resent my mother for my experiences. I became depressed, constantly struggling with various forms of anxiety. Sports became my outlet. I was a two-sport athlete in track and volleyball. I would avoid my issues by staying fully engaged in my activities, and fully withdrawn from my family and my inner demons.
When I started college I thought things would be better. Once again I found myself in a new school with a fresh environment. I was still dealing with my depression and anxiety but I continued to find ways to cope with the loneliness. It was about that time when I met my college boyfriend. Like most stories, at first things were perfect. But as the relationship progressed he became controlling, jealous, and verbally aggressive. Eventually this grew into both physical and emotional abuse. The man I thought I knew became a complete stranger. As time went on the abuse became worse. Upon visiting a local church, I began to realize this was not the life God had planned for me. After struggling for too long, I was able to leave my abuser and sought refuge at a women’s shelter. I ended up spending one month at the Alexandra House women’s shelter. I took that time to utilize the resources provided which was a great help in helping to pick up the pieces and find myself again. With the help of Alexandra House I am proud to say I moved to Duluth, MN.
God has given me a new sense of hope. He has pulled me out of the darkness and into the light. When I moved to Duluth I made a promise to myself that I would do everything in my power to educate and raise awareness so that people would not have to endure what I have. I am proud to say I am an advocate for the “No More” campaign, which fights to prevent and end Domestic Violence and sexual assault against women and children. My goal as a survivor is to continue to provide resources for victims and empower our future generations to break the cycle of violence before it begins. I am living proof that there is life after abuse, and it is never too late to rewrite your story.
Organizer
Alexis Adu-Bobi
Organizer
Duluth, MN
