Keep the Writer Writing - Happy Birthday

As you may have heard, the ancient laptop on which I wrote my first (almost) three novels has sh*t the bed mid sentence, losing me the writing of a full day and stopping me in my tracks from writing the final two scenes of my third novel. My goal was to finish by my birthday (today!!) and though I can write by other means for now, ideally I need to replace my laptop in order to keep writing future best sellers. Given that it shat the bed the day before my birthday and I don't exactly have the laptop finds just lying around at present, I thought I might prostrate myself for help, assistance, or tythes, if you will. So if ever you've enjoyed my stories, my daily words, or me in general (if I'm lucky) and are feeling generous, this fund is to raise the money to buy a new (and improved) laptop! Any and all donations would be sooo helpful as they will better arm me to go to war at best buy! But wait, there's more!! - To every person who donates to my birthday cause, I will personally write you a limerick. That's right, you're very own limerick penned by the jackass herself. - Or if you're crazy and you donate fifteen dollars or more, I will send you a signed copy of one of my novels (your choice) when they go to print! Alright, here goes nothing!!