1 month....it's been 1 month since I've heard her voice, felt her warm touch, took care of her. I should be counting down the days for our next adventure but instead I count the days since she's left us, became our guardian angel. My days are getting longer and my nights are getting shorter as I long for her to come to me in my dreams....maybe I'm not ready yet, maybe sh's not ready yet. I close my eyes and see memories, not all good since the last day replays over and over. I miss you, oh GOD do I miss you!!!! I've always said CF and all that she was my easy kid....now she's become the hardest, the most painful. I went to the grocery store late last night to not run into anyone and as I walk down the aisle where I pick up all of the ingredients to her favorite dish (mommy's spaghetti) I broke down, never will I enjoy it the same way again nor could I buy the items....I left the aisle. Checking out, with obvious sadness in my eyes, in my face..... the checker says, "I hope things get better for you," in my head I answer .....not likely as I made my exit. I want to scream, I want to curse but I just cry....sit silently and cry. Eventually I'll be able to push forward but for now all I can do is take it one day at a time. I was never able to clear out the bottom room to rent it out....it's too soon, too fresh. I walk in and remember the bed we shared and the talks we had, how can I disturb that?! .....I CAN'T!!!!!