Several years ago I was in an auto accident that has left me with severe pain throughout my body, leaving me disabled and unable to work. I have applied for Social Security and am currently waiting for a hearing date. This, I have learned, is a very, very long process.
I am currently under the care of a Pain Management physician and Rheumatologist, and am in need of further medical testing (MRI, x-rays, blood work, etc.) to compare against past results. I have been diagnosed with "Chronic Pain Syndrome," (CPS). At present time, I have no control over my bodies limitations. Tasks that used to be menial and simple now leave me consumed with a constant dull and achy pain that is felt deep within my bones. The 24/7 pain starts to wear me down, draining my energy and haunting my mind. I'm left feeling angry, confused, defeated and useless. It can occur at any moment. There are three times as many bad days as there are good. Just when I start to think I might be getting better, it hits again, and the cycle starts all over.
I understand that chronic pain is hard for friends and family to fully understand, it is not 'visible.' It wreaks havoc on the body and mind. It is exhausting and exasperating. My pain strikes my joints, nerves and bones randomly and without warning. New symptoms arise often and for no apparent reason. A simple action may result in severe pain several hours later, or the following day. Delayed pain is confusing to people who have never experienced it. Sometimes my pain is easy to locate or describe, but oftentimes there is a body-wide feeling of discomfort, which is hard to define and not in one particular spot or location.
I take medication several times a day to assist in regulating my pain. There are days where my pain level is manageable, awarding me the opportunity to accomplish light tasks around my house, but those days are few and far between. Often giving me a false sense of healing. In times when I try and "work through the pain," I end up paying for it dearly. Agonizing pain can come on fast and hard, leaving me bedridden for days. Chronic pain is unforgivable.
As a single woman, I do not have the financial support of a significant other during this waiting period. I have been fortunate enough to receive government assistance ($200 month in food stamps) and, in the past, been been able to sell personal items (via craigslist & eBay) in order to maintain my mortgage, medical and prescription cost. But I am at a point now where I have little left to sell and have exhausted all financial means of support.
It is a horrible feeling of not having the ability to go to work because your body and mind no longer work together. I have always been an extremely independent and hard worker (my first job was delivering newspapers at 14... I am now 50). But this month it has become very, very clear that I no longer have the funds to pay for any current or future medical care (no health insurance), prescriptions, mortgage and utilities payments.
Asking for help does not come easy, but the reality of utilities being disconnected and the threat of foreclosure is imminent. While I understand that many are faced with similar hardships, it is my hope that some are able to offer financial assistance during this critical time. I am trying to raise enough money to assist with upcoming medical expenses, testing, prescriptions, as well as past due utility and mortgage payments.
I want to sincerely thank everyone in advance for any funding you may be able to offer -- even the smallest of amounts add up! If you are unable to assist financially, I hope that my link can be placed on your Facebook/Twitter account (two areas gofundme suggests posting to) so that perhaps others would be able to help. I know this might seem like an extreme request, especially from a total stranger, but this is an absolute critical time in my life and I don't know what else to do!
I know I may never be able to properly express the extent of my gratitude in writing, but it is my hope that once my disability claim has settled, I am able to pay back all the people that reached out to help (the Social Security Administration issues back payments from the date you became disabled -- minus 5 months).
This is by far the lowest point in my life and this experience has truly been humbling! I don't know what else to do.