Disabled & In Urgent Need Of Help
Donation protected
... I am a disabled person. On the outside I look perfectly normal 30 year old man in all respects. I'm not missing any limbs and I don't walk or talk in any way that someone might find unusual, but inside there is something very very wrong with me that has all but ruined my entire life. It's not going to be easy summing up my entire life and telling you my story in just a few paragraphs, but for the sake of necessity I will try.
From as far back as I can remember (which is from about the age of 5 onward) up until now I've been plagued by constant nausea and, on particularly bad days, vomiting. When I was a young child the doctors did everything they can to find a cause, but no amount of barium swallows or miniature cameras down my throat would reveal what exactly was wrong with me. They knew my stomach was producing too much acid, as evidenced by my numerous ulcers and throwing up stomach acid once or twice a week, but there wasn't a name for this condition or any known way to cure it. Nevertheless, I still spent a lot of time in the hospital or at home sick in bed as a kid and—as a result—ended up missing a whole lot of school.
Ultimately my condition cost me the ability to stay in school, and in my sophomore year of high school (after finding myself nearly three years behind on credits due to all my illness induced absences) I had to drop out and get my GED. What followed was many years of applying for dead end jobs, working for a few weeks to a few months, then getting fired for taking too many sick days. Employers don't tend to like it very much when you're too sick to work at least one or two days every week, so I've never been able to hold a job for very long.
Realizing that I was literally unemployable I went back to the doctors for further tests, but today's technology wasn't any more effective at figuring out what exactly is wrong with me (or finding a cure) than it was back in 1990. Eventually I was diagnosed with the catch-all condition of "Irritable Bowel Syndrome", but that was really just a way of saying "We don't know exactly what's wrong with you so we're going to give you a generic label for your condition." Under the encouragement of everyone who knows me I tried applying for disability, but sadly neither the state or federal government recognizes Irritable Bowel Syndrome as a condition that could prevent someone from being able to work.
I've spent much of the last decade of my life being too sick to work, but "not sick enough" to get disability. Still, I tried my best to work and support myself; even if my attempts were never very successful. I knew what I really needed was a job where I could set my own schedule, working when I was able to and not working when I felt too sick to do so (which is still 2 or 3 days a week), but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't find a job like this that didn't require some kind of bachelor's degree.
So, knowing that my only hope for ever supporting myself was a college degree, I applied for student grants and loans to pay for college and provide me with enough leftover money to live on while I went to school. I picked the best community college in the local area to start pursuing an Associate in Arts degree, and only attended half time to try and reduce the risk of my disability interfering with my ability to handle the schoolwork. The short version of the story is that in spite of my best efforts I was often too sick to attend class or do my homework, and as a result I failed out of school within the first two years.
And that brings us up to now. My student grants and loans have all run out, no place will hire me due to my past employment record and my disability, and I've had to resort to selling everything of value I own on eBay just to pay the rent and buy food. But now I'm out of things to sell and I have no family to ask for help, so—finding myself faced with the prospect of becoming homeless in the near future—I decided to ask the only people I can ask for help: You.
I live in a small apartment so my household expenses aren't very large, and my goal of $6,000 would cover an entire year of food and shelter for me while I continue trying to find a job that I can work on my own schedule without the need for a college degree. I still hope to return to college some day, because I love to learn and really want to do something meaningful with my life, but for now what I want more than anything is just to not have to end up living on the streets. Feeling like I have the stomach flu two or three days out of every week for my entire life has been hard enough, but that... I can't even begin to tell you how much that thought terrifies me.
Any amount you could donate would help tremendously, even if it's just enough for one meal. All I can offer in return is an extremely sincere "Thank You" for your support, and I will send every donator a personal thank you letter for their contribution. Whether you donate or not, thank you for taking the time to read my story and considering my plea for help. Best wishes to you and yours.
From as far back as I can remember (which is from about the age of 5 onward) up until now I've been plagued by constant nausea and, on particularly bad days, vomiting. When I was a young child the doctors did everything they can to find a cause, but no amount of barium swallows or miniature cameras down my throat would reveal what exactly was wrong with me. They knew my stomach was producing too much acid, as evidenced by my numerous ulcers and throwing up stomach acid once or twice a week, but there wasn't a name for this condition or any known way to cure it. Nevertheless, I still spent a lot of time in the hospital or at home sick in bed as a kid and—as a result—ended up missing a whole lot of school.
Ultimately my condition cost me the ability to stay in school, and in my sophomore year of high school (after finding myself nearly three years behind on credits due to all my illness induced absences) I had to drop out and get my GED. What followed was many years of applying for dead end jobs, working for a few weeks to a few months, then getting fired for taking too many sick days. Employers don't tend to like it very much when you're too sick to work at least one or two days every week, so I've never been able to hold a job for very long.
Realizing that I was literally unemployable I went back to the doctors for further tests, but today's technology wasn't any more effective at figuring out what exactly is wrong with me (or finding a cure) than it was back in 1990. Eventually I was diagnosed with the catch-all condition of "Irritable Bowel Syndrome", but that was really just a way of saying "We don't know exactly what's wrong with you so we're going to give you a generic label for your condition." Under the encouragement of everyone who knows me I tried applying for disability, but sadly neither the state or federal government recognizes Irritable Bowel Syndrome as a condition that could prevent someone from being able to work.
I've spent much of the last decade of my life being too sick to work, but "not sick enough" to get disability. Still, I tried my best to work and support myself; even if my attempts were never very successful. I knew what I really needed was a job where I could set my own schedule, working when I was able to and not working when I felt too sick to do so (which is still 2 or 3 days a week), but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't find a job like this that didn't require some kind of bachelor's degree.
So, knowing that my only hope for ever supporting myself was a college degree, I applied for student grants and loans to pay for college and provide me with enough leftover money to live on while I went to school. I picked the best community college in the local area to start pursuing an Associate in Arts degree, and only attended half time to try and reduce the risk of my disability interfering with my ability to handle the schoolwork. The short version of the story is that in spite of my best efforts I was often too sick to attend class or do my homework, and as a result I failed out of school within the first two years.
And that brings us up to now. My student grants and loans have all run out, no place will hire me due to my past employment record and my disability, and I've had to resort to selling everything of value I own on eBay just to pay the rent and buy food. But now I'm out of things to sell and I have no family to ask for help, so—finding myself faced with the prospect of becoming homeless in the near future—I decided to ask the only people I can ask for help: You.
I live in a small apartment so my household expenses aren't very large, and my goal of $6,000 would cover an entire year of food and shelter for me while I continue trying to find a job that I can work on my own schedule without the need for a college degree. I still hope to return to college some day, because I love to learn and really want to do something meaningful with my life, but for now what I want more than anything is just to not have to end up living on the streets. Feeling like I have the stomach flu two or three days out of every week for my entire life has been hard enough, but that... I can't even begin to tell you how much that thought terrifies me.
Any amount you could donate would help tremendously, even if it's just enough for one meal. All I can offer in return is an extremely sincere "Thank You" for your support, and I will send every donator a personal thank you letter for their contribution. Whether you donate or not, thank you for taking the time to read my story and considering my plea for help. Best wishes to you and yours.
Organizer
Matthew Beard
Organizer
St. Paul, MN