I'm Going to Hell in Every Religion

I'M GOING TO HELL IN EVERY MAJOR RELIGION, SO HELP ME LIVE IT UP FOR HOWEVER LONG I HAVE LEFT ON EARTH!

Ok so I'm launching this because I've been told by thousands of people over the course of my life that if I don't watch my step, I'm going to "Hell".  Like the majority of humanity, I grew up indoctrinated by the church through tradition and before I had reached an age of sufficient reason.

So I thought I'd go through a quick list of what I'm going to this literal "Hell" for and just to make sure, I'm going to let you guys watch as I partake in several of these mortal sins right here and now...

And since I'm presumably going to burn for all of eternity in a literal lake of fire, I think it's only fair that I get to live by the beach or have some extra fun for however many years I have left on Earth!