Melissa's Surgery Fund
Donation protected
Greetings, internet. I come to you today because I am in desperate need of back surgery and I have been unable to save the funds I need for it and recovery time. It's difficult, but I've finally accepted the fact that I need help with this. And so I've come to you.
I've been trying to save the money on my own, as I thought I would have a decent amount of time to do so. But with unfortunate life circumstances (expensive home repairs) I had to put my efforts towards that debt, and now, my condition is getting worse. I'm afraid that if I put it off any longer, I will have permanent nerve damage. But as of right now, I would not be able to support myself during my rehabilitation.
What follows is a detailed explanation of my condition and the circumstances leading up to it. It's a long story, but please bear with me. If you are sensitive to discussions of medical content, please skip to the end of this section.
***CONTENT WARNING: Discussion of medical procedures, mental and physical health, medication usage for pain treatment***
In 1996 I was a thin, reasonably attractive cocktail waitress (if I do say so myself). I'd been working this job for quite a while, but I'd begun to notice pain in my knee that was growing progressively worse. When I went to the doctor, they told me the source was not my knee, but my back.
The first time I visited an orthopedic doctor, he diagnosed me with Tarlov cysts on my spinal cord. Never heard of Tarlov cysts? Neither had I. The neursurgeon I visited was not familiar with my condition either. It turned out that only 3 cases had been published in medical journals. But surgery seemed to be my best option at the time, so I underwent it as planned.
Waking up was the worst pain I'd ever experienced. While in the hospital, I even went into septic shock from a roaring infection. The surgery was unsuccessful, though I do not blame the doctor. Perhaps unsurprisingly, when the subject of surgery came up again with my new doctor, I was extremely reluctant. Thankfully, the medical community knows more about Tarlov cysts now than they did then, but I'd hoped I could treat the problem in other ways.
After my first surgery, I tried to continue working as a cocktail waitress. It paid well, and I had a daughter to support. But I quickly found out that it was impossible. My health had deteriorated, and it has only gotten worse.
For two years, I supported my family through welfare as I attended college to become a graphic designer. That is my current job, and I enjoy it more than I'd ever expected. But I've been in chronic pain for 19 years, and now, even sitting still for long periods of time is becoming increasingly difficult.
The problem is called "neuropathy". It is an excruciating combination of pain and weakness. At times, it feels like pins and needles in my feet. Other times, it's like being electrocuted. Then there are sharp, stabbing pains, all of which I experience on a daily basis. Every step takes a great effort, even with my cane, and at times I can hardly stand. Sweeping the porch for a grand total of 10 minutes results in serious back pains. Recently, I've started to have hard muscle cramping, mostly at night. I've been awakened by foot cramps that are so severe that my foot is twisted into a position that I didn't think was possible.
But it doesn't stop at pain. I've also developed something called a neurogenic bladder. I’ve had to learn self-catheterization. Numbness in my leg, from nerve damage, is now progressing to my feet. My latest MRI shows I have progressed from moderate to severe spinal stenosis. My spinal cord is basically being choked. It's a progressive condition; the next step is loss of bowel control, and eventually I could become wheelchair bound.
On top of physical pain, I have also seriously struggled with severe depression. I know this is common amongst chronic pain patients, and fortunately, I am in a much better place now. But it's an ongoing struggle. It's difficult to stay positive when your body is constantly reminding you that even simple, everyday tasks are next to impossible.
All of this has led to insomnia. Between my severe pain, my inability to stay still, and my neurogenic bladder, I'm lucky to get 2 to 3 hours of sleep in a row. Exhaustion is a serious detriment to even the healthiest people, and it's certainly not helping my case.
I have tried to keep my use of pain medication as low as possible. I've worked in a hospital, and I know it's a slippery slope. At this point they're only masking the underlying problem, and honestly, they do little alleviate the worst pain. I'm aware that current laws are making it increasingly difficult for physicians to prescribe pain medication, too. But as it stands, I have two options: seriously increase my dosages, or try another surgery.
***END CONTENT WARNING***
I feel as though my “normal” life is being taken from me one humiliating and painful symptom at a time. My quality of life has diminished significantly. With medication I have been able to continue working the job I love, but I'm afraid even that will soon be impossible. Housework, yard work, grocery shopping--simple tasks that should take minimal effort result in days' worth of suffering. I can forget about doing any of the things I use to enjoy. Going on vacation to places like Disneyland or the beach are out of the question. I can't sit, stand, walk or even lie down for very long without the pain becoming unmanageable. Today, I had to turn down my brother's kind invitation to go see a show because I knew I couldn’t sit through it. I hate that I can't spend time with my family like I used to.
I want my life back! Even a portion of it. I’m so tired of being in pain. I'd love to be able to plant a garden, or go shopping with my mother, or even go to a movie without worrying about the aftermath.
The turning point was a 15-year-old boy who frequents a chronic pain forum that I also visit. This poor kid, dealing with pain of his own, wants so badly to help me--he even offered to start taking up a collection for me. I was incredibly touched, but at first, I told him, "No. There are others out there that are much worse off than me." I find that helping others, be it people or animals, is one way to take my mind off the pain.
But I've realized that if I continue to wait, I will become one of those people. And then I won't be able to help others in turn. So I've gone against my nature, and now I'm asking you for help.
My goal is to save $5000 to $6000. This is my estimate for bills and insurance during my recovery time. It will not cover my hospital bills, but that's something I will just have to worry about later. My main concern is not losing my home, the place I've worked hard to hang onto during these hard economic times. I also have a little furry family to think about (my kitties that give me comfort and joy), as well as the kittens I foster when I am able. I don't want to think about what would happen to them if I lost my house.
Thank you for your time and consideration. Even if you can't donate, I appreciate the kindness and emotional support that I've received from my family and friends. And yes, my co-workers, who are also my friends no matter how much we joke about it.
God bless you all.
Melissa
I've been trying to save the money on my own, as I thought I would have a decent amount of time to do so. But with unfortunate life circumstances (expensive home repairs) I had to put my efforts towards that debt, and now, my condition is getting worse. I'm afraid that if I put it off any longer, I will have permanent nerve damage. But as of right now, I would not be able to support myself during my rehabilitation.
What follows is a detailed explanation of my condition and the circumstances leading up to it. It's a long story, but please bear with me. If you are sensitive to discussions of medical content, please skip to the end of this section.
***CONTENT WARNING: Discussion of medical procedures, mental and physical health, medication usage for pain treatment***
In 1996 I was a thin, reasonably attractive cocktail waitress (if I do say so myself). I'd been working this job for quite a while, but I'd begun to notice pain in my knee that was growing progressively worse. When I went to the doctor, they told me the source was not my knee, but my back.
The first time I visited an orthopedic doctor, he diagnosed me with Tarlov cysts on my spinal cord. Never heard of Tarlov cysts? Neither had I. The neursurgeon I visited was not familiar with my condition either. It turned out that only 3 cases had been published in medical journals. But surgery seemed to be my best option at the time, so I underwent it as planned.
Waking up was the worst pain I'd ever experienced. While in the hospital, I even went into septic shock from a roaring infection. The surgery was unsuccessful, though I do not blame the doctor. Perhaps unsurprisingly, when the subject of surgery came up again with my new doctor, I was extremely reluctant. Thankfully, the medical community knows more about Tarlov cysts now than they did then, but I'd hoped I could treat the problem in other ways.
After my first surgery, I tried to continue working as a cocktail waitress. It paid well, and I had a daughter to support. But I quickly found out that it was impossible. My health had deteriorated, and it has only gotten worse.
For two years, I supported my family through welfare as I attended college to become a graphic designer. That is my current job, and I enjoy it more than I'd ever expected. But I've been in chronic pain for 19 years, and now, even sitting still for long periods of time is becoming increasingly difficult.
The problem is called "neuropathy". It is an excruciating combination of pain and weakness. At times, it feels like pins and needles in my feet. Other times, it's like being electrocuted. Then there are sharp, stabbing pains, all of which I experience on a daily basis. Every step takes a great effort, even with my cane, and at times I can hardly stand. Sweeping the porch for a grand total of 10 minutes results in serious back pains. Recently, I've started to have hard muscle cramping, mostly at night. I've been awakened by foot cramps that are so severe that my foot is twisted into a position that I didn't think was possible.
But it doesn't stop at pain. I've also developed something called a neurogenic bladder. I’ve had to learn self-catheterization. Numbness in my leg, from nerve damage, is now progressing to my feet. My latest MRI shows I have progressed from moderate to severe spinal stenosis. My spinal cord is basically being choked. It's a progressive condition; the next step is loss of bowel control, and eventually I could become wheelchair bound.
On top of physical pain, I have also seriously struggled with severe depression. I know this is common amongst chronic pain patients, and fortunately, I am in a much better place now. But it's an ongoing struggle. It's difficult to stay positive when your body is constantly reminding you that even simple, everyday tasks are next to impossible.
All of this has led to insomnia. Between my severe pain, my inability to stay still, and my neurogenic bladder, I'm lucky to get 2 to 3 hours of sleep in a row. Exhaustion is a serious detriment to even the healthiest people, and it's certainly not helping my case.
I have tried to keep my use of pain medication as low as possible. I've worked in a hospital, and I know it's a slippery slope. At this point they're only masking the underlying problem, and honestly, they do little alleviate the worst pain. I'm aware that current laws are making it increasingly difficult for physicians to prescribe pain medication, too. But as it stands, I have two options: seriously increase my dosages, or try another surgery.
***END CONTENT WARNING***
I feel as though my “normal” life is being taken from me one humiliating and painful symptom at a time. My quality of life has diminished significantly. With medication I have been able to continue working the job I love, but I'm afraid even that will soon be impossible. Housework, yard work, grocery shopping--simple tasks that should take minimal effort result in days' worth of suffering. I can forget about doing any of the things I use to enjoy. Going on vacation to places like Disneyland or the beach are out of the question. I can't sit, stand, walk or even lie down for very long without the pain becoming unmanageable. Today, I had to turn down my brother's kind invitation to go see a show because I knew I couldn’t sit through it. I hate that I can't spend time with my family like I used to.
I want my life back! Even a portion of it. I’m so tired of being in pain. I'd love to be able to plant a garden, or go shopping with my mother, or even go to a movie without worrying about the aftermath.
The turning point was a 15-year-old boy who frequents a chronic pain forum that I also visit. This poor kid, dealing with pain of his own, wants so badly to help me--he even offered to start taking up a collection for me. I was incredibly touched, but at first, I told him, "No. There are others out there that are much worse off than me." I find that helping others, be it people or animals, is one way to take my mind off the pain.
But I've realized that if I continue to wait, I will become one of those people. And then I won't be able to help others in turn. So I've gone against my nature, and now I'm asking you for help.
My goal is to save $5000 to $6000. This is my estimate for bills and insurance during my recovery time. It will not cover my hospital bills, but that's something I will just have to worry about later. My main concern is not losing my home, the place I've worked hard to hang onto during these hard economic times. I also have a little furry family to think about (my kitties that give me comfort and joy), as well as the kittens I foster when I am able. I don't want to think about what would happen to them if I lost my house.
Thank you for your time and consideration. Even if you can't donate, I appreciate the kindness and emotional support that I've received from my family and friends. And yes, my co-workers, who are also my friends no matter how much we joke about it.
God bless you all.
Melissa
Organizer
Melissa Morgan
Organizer
Las Vegas, NV
