Get Sarah on Her Feet Again
Hi,
My name is Sarah. I was raised in a controlling, patriarchal religion (IFB) my entire life. When I married my husband at 19 years old, I had no idea how controlling he was or how unhealthy he was. I was incredibly naive and was mostly focused on preventing myself from committing the grievous sin of premarital sex. I didn’t realize how wrong it was the first time he tossed me up against the wall. I didn’t realize how wrong it was when he broke his phone, game console, our fish tank etc. in an angry rage directed at me. I didn’t realize that the holes in the walls and broken doors were inciting a deep fear inside me. All I knew was that I loved him and due to my upbringing, you get one shot at marriage or your life will be broken and ruined. I thought that because he didn’t beat me repeatedly, leave a bruise/break a bone he wasn’t really “assaulting” me. When he put me in a choke hold it was just to “restrain” me from doing something he asked me not to do. When he put his hands around my neck, it was my fault because I had turned his xbox off. It was all my fault because I irritated him too much. Because I made a mistake. If I could just learn to leave him alone when he was angry, these things wouldn’t happen. We had two children together. On January 26th 2015, a few months after our 7 year anniversary, I realized I couldn’t do it anymore. He had become suicidal multiple times, the most recent time with our infant son in the car. That day he became angry that I hadn’t completed my statement for the insurance company for a car accident I had been in. He asked for a divorce. The most recent time he asked for divorce he threatened suicide with a loaded gun. After his verbal abuse and divorce threat, I didn’t want to wait and see what would happen this time. The kids were in daycare/school so I went to the police. I ended up getting a restraining order. Less than 48 hours later, he had an attorney and filed for divorce.
Thankfully I have a job, but my soon to be ex husband has wrecked our finances leaving me with no money. He is “self employed” and trying to use every weapon he can find to attain full custody of our children and receive spousal support from me. Thankfully I was able to borrow money for a retainer for my own attorney, but I am having trouble making ends meet and don’t have the financial capacity to fight my husband and his financial backing from his family. Please help me stay away from this man and keep my kids safe. Anything you can spare would be deeply appreciated. Please help me.
My name is Sarah. I was raised in a controlling, patriarchal religion (IFB) my entire life. When I married my husband at 19 years old, I had no idea how controlling he was or how unhealthy he was. I was incredibly naive and was mostly focused on preventing myself from committing the grievous sin of premarital sex. I didn’t realize how wrong it was the first time he tossed me up against the wall. I didn’t realize how wrong it was when he broke his phone, game console, our fish tank etc. in an angry rage directed at me. I didn’t realize that the holes in the walls and broken doors were inciting a deep fear inside me. All I knew was that I loved him and due to my upbringing, you get one shot at marriage or your life will be broken and ruined. I thought that because he didn’t beat me repeatedly, leave a bruise/break a bone he wasn’t really “assaulting” me. When he put me in a choke hold it was just to “restrain” me from doing something he asked me not to do. When he put his hands around my neck, it was my fault because I had turned his xbox off. It was all my fault because I irritated him too much. Because I made a mistake. If I could just learn to leave him alone when he was angry, these things wouldn’t happen. We had two children together. On January 26th 2015, a few months after our 7 year anniversary, I realized I couldn’t do it anymore. He had become suicidal multiple times, the most recent time with our infant son in the car. That day he became angry that I hadn’t completed my statement for the insurance company for a car accident I had been in. He asked for a divorce. The most recent time he asked for divorce he threatened suicide with a loaded gun. After his verbal abuse and divorce threat, I didn’t want to wait and see what would happen this time. The kids were in daycare/school so I went to the police. I ended up getting a restraining order. Less than 48 hours later, he had an attorney and filed for divorce.
Thankfully I have a job, but my soon to be ex husband has wrecked our finances leaving me with no money. He is “self employed” and trying to use every weapon he can find to attain full custody of our children and receive spousal support from me. Thankfully I was able to borrow money for a retainer for my own attorney, but I am having trouble making ends meet and don’t have the financial capacity to fight my husband and his financial backing from his family. Please help me stay away from this man and keep my kids safe. Anything you can spare would be deeply appreciated. Please help me.
Organizer
Joe Sands
Organizer
Farmington, MN