Gay Transgender Couple Seek IVF & Surrogacy

I am a transgender male. I got my eggs frozen back in 2015 because I really want to be a dad someday, but I also wanted to be able to continue transitioning to become the person I felt like on the inside. Since then I have gotten a hysterectomy/oophorectomy and have been on hormone replacement therapy.

Recently I received a bill from UCSF, where I had undergone the initial procedure for IVF, for another year of cyropreservation. I had originally been quoted a $232 annual fee, but without warning or notice, I have been charged $700. I was told by their billing department that this is the new rate going forward, effective October of this year.

Having lost my job back in February of 2020 due to COVID-19, I have been on Unemployment Insurance, I'm not in a good position to pay– but if I don't, then it is possible UCSF may terminate my ovum, and seeing as I have transitioned, I am not capable of producing any more of my own eggs. The ones I have in storage are all I have.

I have a lot of future costs still ahead of me. Surrogacy is not cheap, and IVF implantation is another cost involved. I recently learned that even getting a video chat consult with my doctor will cost $465– nearly half a grand for a Zoom call, just to ask questions about what my options are!! However, having this one bill taken care of and knowing I have another year to research our options (with UCSF or another clinic) and make a decision to proceed forward, would take a lot of stress off my shoulders.

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MY STORY:

I encourage you to read more about my story. I was interviewed in 2019 as a trans advocate for biological children, which can be viewed here: https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/transgender-men-eager-have-biological-kids-are-freezing-their-eggs-n975331 There are many individuals struggling in situations similar to mine, and I hope to further increase visibility to advocate for transgender reproductive rights.

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UPDATE (4/8/2022): I am excited to announce that Neil and I recently selected a surrogacy agency to work with– SurrogateFirst! After a meeting with their program director, Ashley, the choice was obvious. SurrogateFirst's employees are all either former surrogates or IP (intended parents) themselves, so they are empathetic and very familiar with the process (and all the potential pitfalls and how to avoid them!). The cost of the agency fee is $26,000, thus I have updated the gofundme goal to match this next financial hurdle. The agency will assist us with all the go-betweens with the surrogate, clinic, insurance, lawyers, etc. and help us navigate the process from match to birth!

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The story thus far...

UPDATE (12/3/2020): I am beyond words. Within six hours, the original $700 has nearly been raised, and I am feeling so much relief! Thank you thank you thank you. One of my donors (and a trusted friend) advised that I update the goal, so I have increased it by $465, which is the amount I was quoted by UCSF to consult with my doctor to get the process started of surrogacy and implantation.

UPDATE (12/5/2020): As of late last night, we EXCEEDED the amount needed for annual freezing and the consult. Everything over the $1165 is going directly into an HSA for the future surrogacy costs. A HUGE thank you to everyone who donated and shared. I am presently trying to wrestle more info out of UCSF (prior to the consult in February) to get exact figures for the implantation procedure, at which point I will update the goal amount to reflect. Until then, please keep sharing? Much love!! <3

UPDATE (12/8/2020): I was provided specific pricing for next steps by UCSF! I was told these figures are only valid for six months after quotation, and subject to change after that. Considering the price changes I've endured with them thus far, that legalese certainly seems cause for concern. But the good news is, the current prices seem within reason.

The current plan is to gather the funds needed to create embryos from my eggs and my partner's sperm within the next six months to take advantage of these rates. We will then worry about the NEXT step of the process (known as Frozen Embryo Transfer or FET) later on when we have that year-long window.

UPDATE (3/5/2021): We're in the works on checking off all the boxes to getting sperm and eggs combined into embryos (tiny little Zentlopers, hehe)! I've got a genetic test kit on order (should arrive in a week, then results two weeks after that), and we have a psychology appointment on April 13th. It's all very exciting. We're on-schedule for on-site merge in late May/early June.

UPDATE (3/31/2021):

Genetic Testing "Spit Kit" mailed March 15th! Just got the results back early this week. Based on my results, they recommended Neil do the same to access if he is a "carrier" for any of the same things. As soon as that's through, we'll be able to set up our Genetic Counseling appointment.

UPDATE (1/13/23):

Our surrogate has been medically cleared! Everyone, please welcome Rachel!

She is an experienced surrogate who most recently carried twins for a gay couple in France! She is one awesome lady, and we feel so blessed to have her assisting us with our journey. Throughout all the delays we've experienced with the healthcare industry and clinics, she has remained a beacon of positivity and hope. Can't wait to introduce my future children to Auntie Rachel!

Obtaining medical clearance did not come cheap. Our current bill to UCSF Center for Reproductive Health is $3,880.80. Our next steps, acquiring a gestational agreement and parentage birth order are going to cost $5,000. Thus we have updated our fundraiser to reflect these upcoming charges. We would greatly appreciate any help, be it a dollar or a share! Thank you all. <3

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Can't Donate? No worries!

For those not in a position to donate, I see you and I completely understand! If you do want to support though, here's a few totally FREE things you can do to help:

1) Check out my online shops. You don't have to buy anything; favorite my shop and/or click on the various products. The website algorithms will register the activity and make my listings more relevant to those who are searching! Redbubble: https://www.redbubble.com/people/zphal/shop ; Etsy: www.etsy.com/shop/sumofzed

2) Check out my YouTube channel. My bro and I have been adding a lot more content lately. Subscribe. Once I get up to 1000 followers, I'll be able to monetize it and make revenue from ads. You don't have to watch anything, or you can click on a playlist of mine, mute the tab, and run it in the background. The website algorithm will make my content more relevant in searches! YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVoXNdtzqy85QO2z9HEredQ

3) A lot of you already have, but continue to share my GoFundME, whether it's here on FB or any other social media site you frequent (Insta, Twitter, Tumblr, etc.). Here's a quick link to it: https://gf.me/u/za8cij

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Again: Thank you so so much to everyone who's been so generous so far! <3 I'll be thinking of all of you when we're able to finally hold our kiddo(s) in our arms. Expect a ton of photos when that day comes! ;)