For most of my adult life, New York City was my home. It's where I built my career as a filmmaker, cinematographer, photographer, editor, and Girl About Town. I spent nearly 20 years building a life for myself in New York, developing relationships, working on projects I loved, and carving out a place for myself in an industry that takes a lot of hard work and time to break into. I had a lot of successes and a lot of hardships, but I was finally on my way to a place in my career that was stable with a very visible future.

I was fortunate enough to work on some incredible projects, including HBO's How To with John Wilson, touring with bands like Anamanaguchi and Vampire Weekend, and by 2023, things were actually looking pretty good for me! Yayyy!! Finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was working on a writing project for A24 and had spent years developing two feature films I was attached to direct. One had an A-list actor producing, and the other had a substantial budget and major actors attached to star.

I poured years of my life into these films, without financial compensation. Writing, rewriting, casting, editing, developing, taking meetings, doing pretty much anything and everything to get them made. I genuinely thought these projects were going to be the biggest turning point of my career so far.

And then October 7 happened.

Being openly Jewish and pro-Israel in New York suddenly became a very different experience.

I was physically assaulted twice by members of the LGBTQ+ community. I began receiving death threats, which I still receive on a daily basis. Want to see some? I have a great collection! I lost years-long friendships, professional relationships, and eventually my involvement in the projects I'd spent years building.

The writing project connected to A24 effectively disappeared after the producer and co-writer I was working with stopped communicating with me. I call this a "soft firing." I also lost my involvement in the two feature films following political disagreements. To this day, I have no idea where either project stands.

I've worked with people whose politics are completely different from mine throughout my entire career. It's never been a problem. We disagreed about things, we made things together, and life went on. I still plan on doing that here in Israel, where people can actually think for themselves and not let it bleed into every aspect of their lives.

I never imagined I'd find myself in a situation where my political views would become such a defining factor in my professional life, or that years of work and relationships could disappear so quickly. I've always been vocal, I've always stood my ground, but the groupthink became too powerful. I was outnumbered.

Eventually, I left New York.

I moved to Israel, a country I'd never lived in before, hoping to find some stability and begin rebuilding my life. I want to be clear about something: I'm genuinely happy here. I love living in Israel, and I don't regret coming. Despite the hardships, I believe I made the right decision.

Leaving wasn't an easy decision. I didn't move because I wanted an adventure or a change of scenery. I left behind my apartment, my belongings, my professional network, friendships, and the life I'd spent nearly two decades building. Literally left everything but what I brought in my suitcase, which I've been living out of for over a year.

I felt like I didn't really have another option.

Before leaving New York, I had worked as a caretaker for an older woman with aphasia. I saved as much of that money as I could, hoping it would give me some financial security while I got settled in Israel. Well, that money is gone now... It's been over a year without the ability to work legally.

My Aliyah and citizenship process has been an absolute nightmare. I've had multiple appointments canceled, been asked for additional documents at different stages out of nowhere, and spent months trying to move forward with a process I genuinely thought would have been resolved by now as I have provided everything required of me to get citizenship.

I've also tried to obtain a work visa in the meantime, without success.

Perhaps the most frustrating part of this whole situation is that I actually have job offers I could take if only it weren't for this bureaucratic block.

People want to hire me. I want to work. I've spent my entire adult life working. I LOVE WORKING!!!! But without the necessary authorization, I haven't been able to accept these opportunities.

So I've been doing whatever I can to get by.

I've cleaned houses, I've taken odd jobs, I've hustled in whatever ways I could while trying to navigate a new country, a new language, and an immigration process that seems to move further away every time I think I'm getting somewhere.

At one point, I was literally on my hands and knees cleaning vomit and shit off the floor of someone's house when I received the news that yet another immigration appointment was being canceled. One time, I was cleaning a toilet and found out my friend sold a movie for 7 million at Cannes, where only a few years ago I was celebrating a film I had worked on with my friends at the exact same festival. Now I'm elbow-deep in some random bachelor's toilet. Also at one point I lowkey became fucking homeless but thankfully I have amazing friends here who put me up and took care of me at my lowest point in my adult life lol. Haters, enjoy that one!

Life really comes at ya fast.

There's something comically absurd about spending years developing feature films with A-list talent attached, only to find yourself scrubbing someone's floor while being informed that your ability to legally work in your new country has been delayed yet again. I have taken pride in my ability to adapt, to "immigrantmaxx" (as I've coined it), as a cleaning lady - it's cool. I'm not above it, I'm grateful I've figured out a way to be able to earn a small amount of cash however I can.

It's just been a pretty surreal turn of events.

Unfortunately, the financial consequences have also begun affecting my health.

Without insurance or the money to refill my prescriptions, I've had to abruptly stop taking Wellbutrin and my prescribed steroid inhaler. These have had...consequences. I've had to make multiple trips to the hospital for asthma or injury-related accidents as well - they cost a pretty penny.

I'm also a BRCA1 mutation carrier, which puts me at significantly increased risk for certain cancers. I need to begin regular screening and preventive care here as soon as possible, but the ongoing uncertainty surrounding my immigration status and access to healthcare has made that incredibly difficult.

These aren't things I can responsibly keep putting off. They also plague me with anxiety.

Meanwhile, there's also the situation with my apartment in New York.

Until recently, I was making about $1,000 a month subletting my apartment, which was one of the few remaining sources of consistent income I had. I've now lost that income, and I have to be completely out of the apartment by the end of October.

I'm currently scrambling to figure out how to move an entire apartment's worth of belongings into storage from the other side of the world.

Because I don't have enough money to return to New York myself, I have to hire movers to pack everything up, clear out the apartment, and get my belongings into storage before the deadline. Then I'll have to continue paying for storage until I can afford to ship everything to Israel.

So not only have I lost another $1,000 a month in income, I'm now facing a substantial moving expense that I have to figure out how to pay for almost immediately.

Really excellent timing, obviously. Such is life. Baruch Hashem. I guess……….

On top of everything else, I've accumulated around $10,000 in credit card debt while trying to keep myself afloat. Whoops! I swear I haven’t been shopping. For real. Although the ability to get a drink with a friend once every now and then might be nice. Who knows, I forget.

Between exhausting my savings, losing my remaining income from New York, and accumulating debt, I've reached a point where I'm not just struggling to get ahead. I'm struggling to keep from falling further behind.

Through all of this, I haven't stopped trying to work on the things I actually came here hoping to do.

I'm currently developing a film about my experiences leaving New York and starting over in Israel. I've applied for grants, I'm continuing to develop personal creative projects, and I'm actively looking for ways to build a sustainable career here.

I have stories I want to tell, films I want to make, and projects I'm excited about. I'm not planning on giving any of that up.I need some financial breathing room to make it possible.

One of the biggest things living in Israel has taught me is that relying on other people isn't necessarily a weakness.

I've always been pretty fiercely independent, sometimes probably to a fault. I'm used to figuring things out myself, finding another job, making something work, doing whatever I have to do to get by. Asking for help has never come particularly naturally to me. Without a proper exchange of goods or talents for cash, I feel totally out of my depth and terrified of the repercussions.

Something I've come to really appreciate about being here is the way people show up for each other. There's a sense of community and mutual responsibility that has made me reconsider this idea I've always had that I should be able to handle everything on my own.

I think I've finally reached the point where I have to accept that I can't.

Not right now, anyway.

I've exhausted my savings. I've taken whatever work I can find. I've tried to navigate the bureaucracy, applied for grants, pursued job opportunities, and continued making things despite everything.

At a certain point, you have to recognize that trying to do absolutely everything yourself isn't necessarily a virtue either.

So, here I am. Asking for help.

Not my favorite activity, admittedly (even though the haters will say otherwise…). But something I'm learning is okay to do.

I'm hoping to raise enough to cover approximately three to four months of essential expenses while I continue working to resolve my immigration status and return to stable employment.

This includes rent, prescription medications, necessary medical appointments and BRCA1 monitoring, immigration-related costs, moving my belongings out of my New York apartment before the end of October, storage fees, and basic living expenses.

It would also help me avoid accumulating further credit card debt, begin paying down what I've already accumulated, and continue developing my independent creative work while trying to establish myself professionally here.

I'm not asking anyone to fund my life indefinitely. I want to work. I've been trying to work. I have opportunities waiting for me that I haven't been able to take. It's infuriating.

I'm simply at a point where I've exhausted my savings, tried every workaround I can think of, and could genuinely use some help.

I know sharing this publicly may invite criticism. That's part of why I've hesitated to do it. But fuck it - I'm used to the hate. It has become a normal part of my daily life. Every morning I wake up, check Instagram and see another adult male telling me to get lip filler or to kill myself.

I also don't want to spend the rest of my life pretending everything is fine because I'm worried about what people on the internet might say.

I consider myself a very lucky person, I've had a very rich life filled with incredible experiences and despite all the bullshit, I have so much to be grateful for.

And now I'm living in Israel, somewhere I genuinely love being, surrounded by people who have shown me a kind of community and generosity that's changed the way I think about asking for help.

I've spent almost 20 years building a life and career for myself in America. The idea of having to start over and rebuild all of that is daunting, especially under these circumstances.

I'm also really eager to do it.

I can't wait to finally start my life here properly. To work, to make films, to build new relationships, to contribute, and to create something I'm proud of again.

I'm not looking backward wishing I could undo everything. I'm looking forward to what I can build next.

I've just reached a point where, despite all my efforts to make it work on my own, I need to accept some help getting there.

If you're in a position to contribute, I would be incredibly grateful. If you're not, sharing this, passing along my work, or connecting me with potential opportunities means just as much.

Hopefully, once I'm back on my feet, I'll be able to pay that generosity forward.

Thank you to everyone who's supported me, encouraged me, given me work, offered me a place to stay, or just made me feel welcome here.

I really am beyond grateful.

Leia