I am in week 5 of chemo/radiation and I had an amazing experience this weekend. I have been having a hard time lately, didnt get out of bed saturday and yesterday, but on Sunday I had something to do that I Had to make happen. I took every medicine I could get my hands on ( anti nausea, antacid, anti diarrheal and pain) and mustered the effort to get to a
"Dare' " (pro: dah-ray)
My spiritual counselor Dianne Porchia accompanied me and got some footage - although we were not permitted to film once inside. It was a rare opportunity to spend the day with an amazing healer named Deena Metzger. I had heard about this rare and fortunate experience and had obtained the coveted email. I had sent an email to the Dare' about 2 months ago, and had given up hope of being invited, until I received the invitation for sunday march 17, just 2 weeks ago. The Dare is invitation only, and its free. Its the real thing.
Deena's ranch is an amazing piece of property on top of a Topanga hill surrounded by mountains, hills, mist and ocean to the far side, and a beautiful wolf that howls during the ceremonies in an extremely large fenced area as you enter. She is a magnificent creature.
As people gathered I examined each couple, wondering which of the two had the illness like me and which was the caretaker? There were also many women that one could tell were the healers. They looked wise, natural, wild gray hair, and they had a depth and grace to them. Deena herself was astounding. She took me into the gathering room before it all began and we spoke. She said:
"You are here to ask the questions: why this disease? why this place in your body? why this time in your life?".
The Dare' convened outside by the fire. Deena said "we will evoke spirit in the old ways. we will draw their attention by doing something interesting". It became apparent at that time that of all of the 28 people there, only 2 others were there to be healed. All of these people had come from all over to make this happen for only 3 of us! I was overwhelmed at the immensity of the gift.
Many drums began beating, large and small, along with pipe, digeridoo and chanting without words. They brought me into the center of the circle and placed hands on me, and sang into my chest. My body began to shake uncontrollably. I tried to breathe deeply and relax but the shaking was intense and couldnt be stopped. I dont know how long it lasted, but afterward one of the ladies brought me to the gathering room and covered me with blankets. I told her I wished that I could have relaxed but I couldnt stop the shaking and she said that it was very common. The healing process was a powerful one.
Before being brought into the circle I had a vision of shocking intensity. The colors in the vision were brighter and more vivid than I had ever experienced, or maybe had not experienced in a long while ( the chemo dulls the brain and life force, makes you feel as if you are sort of partly not alive) It was a very bright, colorful indian blanket, or fabric with intense indian style colors. (The full significance of the vision occurred to me only last night and it is very exciting, I will share later) Throughout the day, as we gathered in meditation, formed council and spoke of dreams, and passed the talking stick, a series of memories and coincidences started occurring to me.
My grandmother on my mother's side was part cherokee. She had long raven black hair with gray temples even to her death at 76. She was an extremely domineering, powerful woman and she wore the pants in her house. My mom was afraid of her all of her life, and mom told me that her parents never once said "I love you".
My mom died from carcinoid cancer with origination in the small intestine or second chakra (family). I am healing myself from anal cancer...
Why this type of disease? Why this place in the body? Why this time in the life?
When people become ill, it manifests in the area of the body that is energetically weak. The analogy is that if you were to equate people to a row of houses in a hurricane, each house would suffer the same exterior effect ( wind from the same direction or stress for the body) but because of the unique energetic deficiency in the construction
of each house, they will suffer damage differently.
The colon and rectum are located in the "root chakra". The root "chakra" or energy center represents connection to your tribe. The next chakra
is located just below the umbilicus and represents connection to family and loved ones. The next chakra is located in the solar plexus and represents connection to self. The next is the heart chakra and represents loving others. the next is in the throat and represents creative expression. the next is between and just above the eyebrows and represents connection to the infinite higher power or God. and the one at the crown of the head is direct, unobstructed connection.
So we should ask: where do we tend to become ill? what part of our bodies? and why? why is there an energetic deficiency there? what is our body trying to tell us?
Cancer and all diseases are wake up calls.
I know the two years before I was diagnosed were the hardest for me. I had moved across the country and lost all connection to home and safety. I lost my mom, I lost all contact with old friends as I tend to do when things are not good, and a few other tragic things. Basically I lost connection to my "tribe" and was in fear of survival. This is root chakra stuff.
My mom's was second chakra or family stuff. When the mind has fear, sadness, old hidden grief, it manifests in the body. The key to health is not wheatgrass juice and exercise - because if that were the case I would not have gotten cancer. The key to health is in the mind.
Where is your stuff?
Through the work that I am doing with Dianne I am learning that old hurts and fears and thoughts that dont work, need to be resolved, so that your cells can remain in, or return to harmony, and vibrant health can be enjoyed for a very long happy life.
I had tried therapy quite a few times, but was always disappointed in the process of thinking and talking about what was wrong. So then on my journey I decided to do selfless service to focus on creating joy for others which was much more rewarding but ended in depleting myself.
Dianne Porchia was able to extract the core issues, and resolve them on a spiritual level, with uncanny precision and clarity. It has been one miracle after another.
If you'd like to read more about Porchias work, go to: http://www.porchiaswish.com/
she has a beautiful home in the topanga mountains where she makes magic happen and for those of you, like me, that thought you couldnt afford it: It is affordable because it is so efficient.
I dont know what to say. I was pretty uncomfortable when my friends told me they were going to start this site. And now, when i look at it and see all of you, and read your notes - how much you care, I am moved to tears.
If you would like to know what the status is, I am still in the middle of tests, they found the first site, did a biopsy, then cat scan, found a second site, then biopsy on that, then little thing on liver. now they want a Pet scan to see if it is in lungs. they are telling me it will be 2-3 months of whole body chemo ( I decided to chop my hair off and donate it before it falls out) followed by 6 weeks of targeted chemo/radiation which is a tough one, surgery with colostomy bag, and more chemo. i have lost weight but am trying to put it back on. that is my new job now.
I am told people get out of this, but when i read statistics it doesn't look good. I am told that the people that make it are those that want to fight. . I am told it will be the fight of my life.
when i read your notes and see your incredible generosity I feel so loved, and it makes me want to win, maybe i can give everyone hope that it can be done.!
I cant thank you enough. thank you for caring. thank you for your prayers. i fell so grateful for you.
Love and hugs,
Liz is a dear friend of ours who is the most generous and big-hearted person we know. Her many talents include flying all over the world (flight attendant), bending people into pretzels (yoga teacher), and poking needles (acupuncturist).
Please donate to our cause to help our friend.
Liz has been diagnosed with stage four anal cancer in three locations. She will need six months of chemo therapy and two surgeries. Her current rental arrangement just ended. We are trying to raise money for six months rent and living expenses. If anyone knows of someone who can offer an apartment for a month or longer that would be wonderful as well. She was living in Santa Monica where she felt at home. Her good friend lives in Huntington. An apartment in either place would be of great help.
In 1989 she got rid of all her possessions and went to India to try to help the world. While volunteering in India over the following months Liz became discouraged about not being able to make as much of a difference as she had hoped for. She realized that you need skills to make a difference and decided to dedicate her life to learning healing arts. She became an acupuncturist and yoga instructor in hopes of making a difference.
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