My name is Holly Wise and I'm 28 years old. I was born with a rare syndrome called VACTERL. I spent my childhood in and out of hospitals, and the nurses became part of our family. I have had over 38 surgeries, 30 of those being on my spine alone.
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Almost two years ago, I married the love of my life, Sam. I couldn't have asked God for a better man to spend the rest of my life with. I always knew that having a child may be a bit tricky, but I knew we would cross that bridge when we came to it. That bridge is now near.
Sam and I went to a prenatal/genetic counselor. The outcome wasn't what I wanted, but it was what I was expecting. We were told that my lungs would fail during pregnancy, due to the skeletal deformations of my ribs and spine, as well as my hips being fused. There was also a chance I would become paralyzed during childbirth, if I were to make it that far. We were told that there was no definitive time of when my lungs would fail - I could go 34 weeks, be fine, have a c-section and life would be wonderful, or, at 16 weeks, middle of the night, my lungs could start to fail, and if Sam did not get me to a hospital in time, he would lose me, as well as our child.
After a heartbreaking realization, and long discussions, Sam and I decided to use a surrogate in order to have a baby or to adopt a beautiful child who will be ours. I also had a tubal ligation, so we would have no accidental pregnancies. If I was to become pregnant, and then not be able to have him/her, I would truly be devastated. Unfortunately due to complications from the tubal ligation, I will be having a hysterectomy soon. After lots of prayer, we feel that surrogacy/adoption is our best option. Unfortunately, this takes a lot of money. I was very naive in thinking that it would be an easy process.
I contacted the fertility clinic, and made our first consult appointment on May 30, 2014, where I was in for a big shock. Quite a few tests have to be done to even see if my eggs are viable, lots of blood work. Our consult alone was $490, the pre-IVF things that need to be done will be around $3,000 and then the actual IVF cycle of putting our embryo into a gestational carrier is $15,000.
We would also love to adopt. Finding a birth mother willing to do a private adoption would be a dream come true. Not only do we want to help a woman who needs it and to make sure she is taken care of, we also want to give that child the most loving home they'll ever have. Unfortunately, adoptions are not cheap either. Since this will be our first child, we want the experience of having a newborn, something every parent has a right to have.
After learning the rigorous steps in each process, my first thought was, "We aren't meant to have children, this is never going to happen." I am a woman of faith, and with God, all things are possible. I put that negativity out of my mind quickly. We will be parents one day to a beautiful baby that is meant to be ours.
Thank you and God bless for taking the time to read this.
We are asking for prayers, positive thoughts, love, kindness on our journey to becoming parents.
Any type of donation, whether monetary, kind words, or even just some prayer, would be a blessed gift!