Seeking Your Support & Love
"Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
― Rumi
Dear friends,
As some of you know I have been having a really difficult time emotionally and physically in the last year. A confluence of events have led to a point in time where I need to seek professional counseling and financial support from my friends and loved ones.
I have been unemployed from a full-time jobs (which comes with benefits including insurance) for more than 5 years. Being self-employed, I've mostly been traveling and doing speaking engagements, but unfortunately booking events is becoming harder and harder. The travel and emotional energy needed has also taken a toll.
Unexpected medical expenses and costs to repair my ancient (1997 Acura) car have also set me back significantly. My credit cards are all maxed out and my savings are almost gone.
My plan is to take 3 months (and possibly longer) to seek professional counseling through a combination of intensive counseling and therapy, seeing a psychiatrist, going to support group meetings, expanding my network of support in Atlanta and seeking job opportunities in Atlanta, DC and NYC.
To make a long story short, I'm not doing well (mentally, emotionally or physically) and the toll this has taken on my life has been more profound than I imagined.
I don't know how long this "recovery" will take or when I will be in a position to start a full-time job. Right now I'm anticipating at least 3 months if not longer.
For me to able to focus on getting better, finding structure, support from professionals and love from my friends and family-of-choice, I need to "let go" of worrying about my finances.
This decision doesn't come easily. I'm the last person to seek out this level of help. I've been keeping a lot of what's doing on in my life private and opening up to this degree (as ambigious as I'm being) is really, really hard.
But my friends say that I've given so much of my life and for so long (15+ years) helping others, and that its time for folks to help me (in whatever capacity they can).
I've listed my expenses and overdue bills here. As you'll see my monthly expenses are approx. $2,800. With 3 months of support, the total would be about $10,000 (which is a lot of money I realize).
Any financial contribution will be immensely helpful. An email or text of love and support is also invaluable. I apologize in advance that I can't return phone calls; I'm *that* overwhelmed right now. My MO is to isolate and go into a dark place, but I'm working through this (slowly).
My hope is that a higher and more intense level of care will help me to gain a sense of myself (back) and that I will gain the skills needed to feel better for the long haul.
While I don't know what type of support I'll be getting exactly, I'm working with a core group of friends and my therapist to sort through our inadequate medical and insurance system. It can be really overwhelming and I have a lot of anger at the health-care system. Seeking professional help for mental health should never be this difficult.
I don't have any other options right now but to seek your support. I promise to keep everyone updated as to how I'm doing and what is happening.
My apologies for the long-winded email.
Thank you in advance for your love and support.
Yours,
Faisal
p.s. GoFundMe charges 8% in fees. You can send a PayPal transfer using my email address ([email redacted]). Or If you'd like to send a contribution directly to my address please email me. I also have accounts with Bank of America and Chase if that is easier. Thank you again during this difficult time.
"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."
― Rumi
"Reward Levels" below represent the colors of the LGBT rainbow flag and their meanings, which I thought would be appropriate for me, right? :) History of the flag can be found here.
