<div>Hi, I'm Pam, sole creator of the Minecraft mod Pam's HarvestCraft, and I've been trying very hard over the last fifteen years, despite my chronic illnesses, to bring everyone's favorite foods, crops, and fruit trees to the game.
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<div><br />
</div>
<div>I'm now asking the Minecraft community for help to avoid becoming homeless while I recover this year from going into Bipolar mania and then months of new medicine induced depression and panic. I now have noticeable cognitive difficulty, brain fog, memory loss, and daily painful swelling in my upper back, neck, and head after a fall during that.
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<div>[EDIT as of January 2026]
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<div>EDIT 6:  May 9th - Well, everything has changed in 24 hours.
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<div>I've left my 22 year relationship for too many reasons to list.  I'm still in my apartment, but this leaves me with no car at all.  My money will run out in a couple months or so and my income after that will won't even be enough to cover rent.
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<div>I've never been alone in my entire life like this.  
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<div><br />
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<div>I'm dealing with a kidney stone and my MCAS flaring up at the same time.
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<div>Things are really tough for me right now.
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<div>I am not posting this to beg for more donations.  I am posting this to inform people who care what is going on.  
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<div>Thank you all for helping these last months.  I appreciate it more than you guys know.
</div>
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<div>I love you all.
</div>
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</div>
<div>EDIT 5: I am lucky muscle relaxers are giving me small relief from the swelling/pain, and I am seeing my primary care doctor soon. It would have been sooner but with the holidays and start of the year, he was booked. I would go see another doctor but then my issues will be spread between even more people who don't communicate with each other. I will be presenting him with my notes, asking for tests if he can (or even will) do, and hoping he can refer me to specialists who will actually take my issues seriously.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>After having something painful pop in my back on the 18th (which made me feel 'warm liquid' in my upper arm, back, and right shoulder) and then something pop in my neck while at the hospital on the 19th (that actually made the swelling stop for nearly 3 hours on its own), the swelling now also goes into my upper left arm and across my back into my right shoulder. It used to stop while I was laying down/sleeping and now it doesn't. I am incredibly grateful that the swelling seems limited; it's not causing a massive ballon lump or anything, but I am still incredibly swollen in those areas.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>In my unprofessional opinion, I believe the hiatal hernia and possible esophageal diverticulum are not the causes of this issue (but are still adding to the chest pressure). I believe there is some sort of tight muscle compression of the lymphatic system possibly which is causing the swelling, which is causing pain and the brain fog/etc. And if it's not this, I think it might be a cerebrospinal fluid leak.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>And I believe all of this is directly caused by having hypermobile Ehler's Danlos Syndrome, which is a connective tissue disorder.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>Remember, you are your own advocate; don't let healthcare professionals ignore, belittle, or gaslight you about your symptoms!!!
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>EDIT 4: I'm in the hospital again for the second time in three days for fainting, swelling, pain, and being incoherent for hours after fainting but this time I've been admitted to the upper hospital floors to get a MRI done.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>What is the purpose of keeping someone overnight to make sure they get a MRI when you only image my neck and not chest, despite me explaining how things are really hurting around my heart and swelling in my back? Why is American Healthcare a joke?
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>While I was there for nearly two days, I saw the actual doctor for five minutes. I timed it looking at the clock. I had four well organized and easy to read pages of notes for my doctor visit that I brought with me and only a single person looked at it and supposedly took notes. They refused to scan them in to my file. When I saw the doctor, he didn't even mention my chest pain/back issues and was focused solely on my neck. Did that person who susposedly took notes even actually write anything I said down? Doesn't seem like it.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>I am grateful they didn't find cancer or vein compression and just the spinal stenosis and disc degeneration again from that very specific neck area MRI.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>I don't want there to be problems, but I want reasons for things that are happening to me. At least enough, so I know how to treat my body.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>EDIT 3: ** I might have other digestive system issues which are compounding the spinal stenosis. The ER mentioned a hiatal hernia but the scheduling person on the phone used the phrase "...hiatal hernia and possible esophageal diverticulum" for the reason I was being seen. Fingers crossed I will have more concrete answers soon.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>EDIT 2: I went to the ER because of the head and neck swelling, so they did a CT scan of my neck which showed spinal spondylosis which is causing cervical stenosis. Could this be the cause of the swelling in my neck, head, and back which is causing the pain, brain fog, etc? The hiatal hernia** can also be causing pressure, adding to the issue.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>I hope my doctor will refer me to someone who will be able to give me some relief.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>I can no longer drive because of this, and I'm not able to turn my head all the way to each side. This has removed my ability to make income other than this GoFundMe and my mods. Please share this with as many people as you can.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>EDIT 1: I have a hiatal hernia** it seems (EDIT: Found went I went in to the ER for kidney stone problems)
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>It's been causing me a lot of problems that are worse every time I eat or drink; they told me it's creating pressure in my chest pushing on my esophagus, my heart, left lung, and blocking drainage of my head making it swell. This is causing tiredness, fatigue, vertigo, headaches, food reflux, and more.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>I'm waiting to see a specialist (yay US healthcare system) to see if I qualify for surgery among other things. I don't know how long this is going to take, and I am beyond exhausted.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>This is something that affects me everyday because I have to eat, I have to drink. It's a cascade of issues every time. It's literally exhausting having all that pressure come and go.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>[END OF EDIT]
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>In late May of this year I went into severe delusional mania while house sitting, was sent to an in-patient facility for two weeks with no notice to my other clients, came home still manic and updated all of my fruit tree textures, and then dropped into Bipolar depression suddenly from new medication which stopped my mania but had the unintended consequence of months of depression (as of my last update).
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>Over the next month I couldn't get out of bed, socialize, or do anything; I could barely eat or take care of myself. I dealt with a constant state of fight or flight. It was after I tried to find a weapon to injure myself, I was sent to the in-patient facility again for over a week.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>Not only have I not been able to pull myself out of this depression and constant state of never ending panic, I have realized I have suffered memory loss from the extreme stress, and I have very noticeable cognitive problems and horrible brain fog making simple tasks very hard. Doing something like typing this up has taken all day instead of just ten minutes. My speech is stilted and slow, my short term memory is faulty, I can't think through complex things without getting mentally exhausted, and I even have issue with simple tasks like cooking or driving. I have been very easily overwhelmed and confused.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>I am asking for help with rent, bills, medication, and the cost of living over the next year , so I have the financial stability to focus on therapy and doctors to help recover and hopefully start re-learning my skills and try to get back to work.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>I refuse to accept that I will be like this forever, and I just need help becoming myself again.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div><strong>I want nothing more than to continue working on Pam's HarvestCraft for the community!</strong>
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>People have asked for my Patreon for more info: <a href="https://www.patreon.com/c/pamsmods" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Pam HarvestCraft's Patreon</a>
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>[EDIT as of January 2026]
</div>
<div>EDIT 5: I am lucky muscle relaxers are giving me small relief from the swelling/pain, and I am seeing my primary care doctor soon. It would have been sooner but with the holidays and start of the year, he was booked. I would go see another doctor but then my issues will be spread between even more people who don't communicate with each other. I will be presenting him with my notes, asking for tests if he can (or even will) do, and hoping he can refer me to specialists who will actually take my issues seriously.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>After having something painful pop in my back on the 18th (which made me feel 'warm liquid' in my upper arm, back, and right shoulder) and then something pop in my neck while at the hospital on the 19th (that actually made the swelling stop for nearly 3 hours on its own), the swelling now also goes into my upper left arm and across my back into my right shoulder. It used to stop while I was laying down/sleeping and now it doesn't. I am incredibly grateful that the swelling seems limited; it's not causing a massive ballon lump or anything, but I am still incredibly swollen in those areas.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>In my unprofessional opinion, I believe the hiatal hernia and possible esophageal diverticulum are not the causes of this issue (but are still adding to the chest pressure). I believe there is some sort of tight muscle compression of the lymphatic system possibly which is causing the swelling, which is causing pain and the brain fog/etc. And if it's not this, I think it might be a cerebrospinal fluid leak.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>And I believe all of this is directly caused by having hypermobile Ehler's Danlos Syndrome, which is a connective tissue disorder.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>Remember, you are your own advocate; don't let healthcare professionals ignore, belittle, or gaslight you about your symptoms!!!
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>EDIT 4: I'm in the hospital again for the second time in three days for fainting, swelling, pain, and being incoherent for hours after fainting but this time I've been admitted to the upper hospital floors to get a MRI done.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>What is the purpose of keeping someone overnight to make sure they get a MRI when you only image my neck and not chest, despite me explaining how things are really hurting around my heart and swelling in my back? Why is American Healthcare a joke?
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>While I was there for nearly two days, I saw the actual doctor for five minutes. I timed it looking at the clock. I had four well organized and easy to read pages of notes for my doctor visit that I brought with me and only a single person looked at it and supposedly took notes. They refused to scan them in to my file. When I saw the doctor, he didn't even mention my chest pain/back issues and was focused solely on my neck. Did that person who susposedly took notes even actually write anything I said down? Doesn't seem like it.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>I am grateful they didn't find cancer or vein compression and just the spinal stenosis and disc degeneration again from that very specific neck area MRI.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>I don't want there to be problems, but I want reasons for things that are happening to me. At least enough, so I know how to treat my body.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>EDIT 3: ** I might have other digestive system issues which are compounding the spinal stenosis. The ER mentioned a hiatal hernia but the scheduling person on the phone used the phrase "...hiatal hernia and possible esophageal diverticulum" for the reason I was being seen. Fingers crossed I will have more concrete answers soon.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>EDIT 2: I went to the ER because of the head and neck swelling, so they did a CT scan of my neck which showed spinal spondylosis which is causing cervical stenosis. Could this be the cause of the swelling in my neck, head, and back which is causing the pain, brain fog, etc? The hiatal hernia** can also be causing pressure, adding to the issue.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>I hope my doctor will refer me to someone who will be able to give me some relief.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>I can no longer drive because of this, and I'm not able to turn my head all the way to each side. This has removed my ability to make income other than this GoFundMe and my mods. Please share this with as many people as you can.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>EDIT 1: I have a hiatal hernia** it seems (EDIT: Found went I went in to the ER for kidney stone problems)
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>It's been causing me a lot of problems that are worse every time I eat or drink; they told me it's creating pressure in my chest pushing on my esophagus, my heart, left lung, and blocking drainage of my head making it swell. This is causing tiredness, fatigue, vertigo, headaches, food reflux, and more.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>I'm waiting to see a specialist (yay US healthcare system) to see if I qualify for surgery among other things. I don't know how long this is going to take, and I am beyond exhausted.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>This is something that affects me everyday because I have to eat, I have to drink. It's a cascade of issues every time. It's literally exhausting having all that pressure come and go.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>[END OF EDIT]
</div>

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Keep Pam of HarvestCraft in her Home while she Recovers

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Keep Pam of HarvestCraft in her Home while she Recovers

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