<div>Hi, I’m Alex. This is very hard to write.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>I grew up in a violent and emotionally abusive household. My mother constantly screamed at me, humiliated me, hit me, and said things like:
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>“You worthless thing, I should’ve strangled you when you were born.”
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>She told me she wasn’t my mother. She cursed at me. Sometimes she would fly into such terrifying rages that I thought she might kill me. My father, though less violent, watched and did nothing.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>I spent my childhood in fear — fear of being yelled at, hit, humiliated. I learned to be silent, to please others, to disappear. That fear never left. Now in adulthood, I’ve been diagnosed with Complex PTSD and major depression. The flashbacks, the panic, the feeling of being utterly worthless… they follow me every day.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>I moved back to Sydney from New York, hoping to restart. But things collapsed again. I’m not functioning. I can barely leave the house. I smoke, drink, isolate. My Uber job, once my lifeline, now feels unreachable because some days my body simply won’t move.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>I’ve been alone for months. Sometimes I lie in bed all day, dissociated, crying, or empty. I’ve skipped meals. I haven’t been able to cover rent or bills. And yes, I’ve had moments of thinking it might be easier to stop living altogether — not because I want to die, but because I don’t know how to keep going.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>I’m sharing all this not for pity, but because I want to be honest. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live after a childhood like that — this is it.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>I need help. I’m asking for support so I don’t fall even further:
</div>
<div>•	Rent and bills;
</div>
<div>•	Medication and GP visits;
</div>
<div>•	A little breathing space so I don’t crash again.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>If you can donate anything, I’m deeply grateful. If you can’t, please just share this.
</div>
<div>Maybe someone out there will hear me.
</div>
<div><br />
</div>
<div>— Alex
</div>

Yangxiang Qu

Chengxu Yu

Hang Zhang

Daniel Liu

King sing Ko

I’m Still Alive, But Barely

platform

Platform is iOS

Android

Adyen Google Pay Development Audience

$opt_dummy_attribute

English only

Deprecate Stripe Legacy

dyn_template_ids

Adyen V6 Bene Transfer & MyMoney Campaign Organizers - test01

Bene transfer V6 and AdyenV6MyMoney Campaign Organizers - production

OneTrust next-app audience

fundCountryCode

NextDoor Share Option Users

Fundraisers with Reactions feature capability

fundCurrencyCode

US + Non-charity COs Only

locale

fund country is US and user language is English

personId

comms-internal-person-ids

Enhanced Story Experience Users

Suggested Goal Experience Users

user language is English and fund country: US, AU, DK, FI, IE, NO, SE, CA, GB; 

Poster share - new funds eligible (newest 9/18)

Streaming widgets beta user

paymentProcessor

3DS payment method

user language is English and fundCountry: US, AU, DK, FI, IE, NO, SE, CA, GB; 

currencyCode

Money Box Donation List Prompt Experiment Audience

GoFundMe Employees

ipAddress

Mark Rieth IP Address

Version 9.2.0 and above

Fund is in English speaking country

desktop

Android v12.11.0 and above

Platform is Android

paymentMethodType

checkoutType

Payment method type group to be vaulted on success

admin pr kit prod

EUR Donation Upsell

Share Text generation Skip Fundraiser

(prod) new funds eligible for amp12 (UGC gallery)

fintrac_cad_idv_form_v2 audience

paymentProcessorAccountId

fallback mode accounts

proCampaignId

p2p legacy startfundraising page

AMP24 New Funds Only PROD (DO NOT MODIFY)

countryCode

charityId

UKCharities

Federated Search Internal Testing

route.pathname community

US Donation Upsell audience 

Auto Thanks Feature Audience

Supporter Comments Eligible Funds

International Only

fundId

braze fundraiser group 

Payment Identity Transfers ATO Risk Check (Targeted) - Production

Fundraiser Saved Payment Method Rate Limit Bypass (Production)

leaderboard-partner-id-audience-givepanel

Version 9.2.1 and above

AUD Donation Upsell audience

fundraiserCountryCode is US/EN

Active Fundraiser - Smart Default Cadence

DAF Internal

Vault on success card payment method

Platform is iOS v11.0.0 and above

Desktop users

Person ids

United States (US) users

allow yuno fundraisers for test

Mexico country code

Posters INTL

NPO Profile Opted-In

iOS at or above 12.4.0

non-US recurring donors

Canada Campaign Owner Group

Fundraiser Without Meta Link

Scheduler payment tester gorup

charityCommunityId

Charities allow to be claimed unclaimed (PRD)

Canada (CA) users

UC Tipping v20250115 International

pymk_production_xplr_fe_team

Android at or above 12.2.0

Profile photo entry point audience

smart goals (fundraiser/manage) on test01

Activity Tracking v1 Beta Testing

start gfm intl allowed locales

Platform is iOS v11.2.0 and above

NPO upsell education category

unclaimed charities

prod_ach_audience

AI Chatbot Audience

amp13 only new funds (prod) (anyword auto)

UC Flow Enabled (Prod)

Payment Identity Beneficiary Verification - Production

shared notification bell audience

Custom users

ach frontend audience

Android v11.0.0 and above

Users Receiving Payments Paused Notifications

smart goals test01

Manage Coach - US English Organizers Only + new funds only

Team EGG - IP Address list

NPO recommendations prod

Fundraiser Without Instagram Deep Link

Native 11.4.0 and above

UC Tipping v20250107

Users Receiving Braze KYC Validation Failed

Native 11.3.0 and above

ai_title_page

anyword

openai

control

manual_entry

userEmail

template_id

userId

fundUrl

isCharityCo

email

appVersion

shouldBucketIntoExperiment

partnerId

donationCadence

isActiveFundraiser

isPartner

isMobile

npoProfileOptIn

fundIsLinkedWithMeta

hasSessionDonation

categoryGroup

isCampaignOwner

fundHasInstagramDeepLink

Native 11.4.0 and higher

New funds eligible - Video Sharing (PROD)

GB Donation Upsell audience 

Auto Thanks V3 Rollout Audience

Thank you V3 testing whitelist

isRecurringFriendly

Is Recurring Friendly

Excluded funds - Video Sharing

NPO upsell animals category

NPO upsell disaster relief category

Logged In Users

CH Donation Upsell audience

Android v10.6.0 and above

NPO upsell essential needs category

NPO upsell medical category

userCurrencyCode

Localized Currency

NPO upsell cancer category

v11.5.0 and above

testAudience

pathname

Survicate

appVersion is at or above 12.8.0

Non-charity fund

isChallengeFundraiser

challenge-fundraisers

Payment Identity Launch Verification - Production

New funds eligible - Posters v2

CAD Donation Upsell Audience

Braze Email Tester

NPO Profile Opted-Out

iOS App Version

hasKnownDonors

PYMK has donors

iOS v12.3.0 and above

I’m Still Alive, But Barely

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