<div>After years of telling doctors something was wrong—and being told it was “just stress”—I’m finally at the point where even my doctor can’t ignore what’s happening to my body.

</div>

<div><br />

</div>

<div>In the last 3 years, I’ve lost nearly 60 pounds. I’ve gone in again and again concerned about rapid weight loss, extreme thirst, being cold all the time, constant fatigue, and brain fog. Every time, I was told that it was “just anxiety,” or “depression suppressing my appetite” and offered psych meds instead of deeper testing. I didn’t realize that things like frequent urination, sugar crashes, and never feeling full could be signs of something much more serious—until I started collapsing emotionally, mentally, and now physically. 

</div>

<div><br />

</div>

<div>I don’t have a diagnosis to share right now. The only thing I do have is a doctor who finally admitted she doesn’t know what’s going on and has finally put some urgency to refer me to specialists for possible autoimmune and metabolic issues. In the meantime, my coworkers have intervened and put me on medical leave from work to stabilize and rebuild. Hopefully, my organs haven’t reached complete adrenal burnout and it’s not too late to recover. 

</div>

<div><br />

</div>

<div>I’ve never publicly named my chronic health issues because, honestly, I didn’t want to believe I was sick. It was much easier to pathologize myself to believe that I was broken- that there was something wrong with me and that a pill could fix it. It’s quite literally and figuratively, a much easier pill to swallow than accepting that the environment I’m in is actively and slowly killing me…. I feel much more in control when I can take the other pill. (Now I totally understand why this whole red pill/blue pill metaphor works so beautifully now ) 

</div>

<div><br />

</div>

<div>The pill I’m forced to swallow—- I am standing in the middle of my worst fear as a single mom living in late stage capitalism with a failed medical system…. Being faced with a diagnosis of a chronic illness.

</div>

<div>(I’m not even trying to let my brain catastrophize any more than that.)  

</div>

<div><br />

</div>

<div>I’ve spent most of my life in survival mode, carrying a deep belief that I was a burden to others. I became hyper-independent because I thought if I could just do everything myself, I wouldn’t risk needing anyone—or being rejected. And now… I wish I would have imposed myself and became a burden much sooner instead of waiting until it got worse to ask for help. 

</div>

<div><br />

</div>

<div>If you feel moved to support, I’ve started a Be Well Fund to help cover out-of-pocket care, groceries, supplements, and any unexpected costs during this medical leave. I’m okay, but I’m not okay enough to weather a health crisis and keep everything afloat alone.

</div>

<div><br />

</div>

<div>The irony isn’t lost on me that my body started collapsing at the same time that the ground is crumbling beneath everyone’s feet. We all just watched Daenerys Targaryen take her dragon and light Kings Landing on fire and just trying to take in the aftermath of that. So I don’t make this ask lightly. 

</div>

<div><br />

</div>

<div>If financially support isn’t possible, 

</div>

<div>then maybe just sending a DM to let me know how my presence in the world has impacted you personally. It would do my fighting spirit some good to know the difference I’ve made in the world so far. 

</div>

<div><br />

</div>

<div><br />

</div>

<div>Cashapp: $Cocha90

</div>

<div>Venmo: @Courtney-Smith-822

</div>

<div><br />

</div>

<div><br />

</div>

<div>In love and struggle,

</div>

<div>Courtney

</div>

<div><br />

</div>

Erin Tabor

craig regester

Christopher J Viola

Paul DeMuro

Jack McShane

Cyn Huang

Anthony Rosario

Anonymous

Gabrielle Semel

Jed Cawley

Francesca Stephenson

Danielle Smith

Brianna Foraker

Daniel Whelan

Collin P

Susan Steigerwalt

Phillip Bianco

Curt Ries

David Vibert

Emily Lemmerman

Assist Courtney's Path to Recovery

platform

Platform is iOS

Android

Adyen Google Pay Development Audience

$opt_dummy_attribute

English only

Deprecate Stripe Legacy

dyn_template_ids

Adyen V6 Bene Transfer & MyMoney Campaign Organizers - test01

Bene transfer V6 and AdyenV6MyMoney Campaign Organizers - production

OneTrust next-app audience

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NextDoor Share Option Users

Fundraisers with Reactions feature capability

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US + Non-charity COs Only

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fund country is US and user language is English

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Poster share - new funds eligible (newest 9/18)

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Mark Rieth IP Address

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desktop

Android v12.11.0 and above

Platform is Android

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checkoutType

Payment method type group to be vaulted on success

admin pr kit prod

EUR Donation Upsell

Share Text generation Skip Fundraiser

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p2p legacy startfundraising page

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Auto Thanks Feature Audience

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International Only

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braze fundraiser group 

Payment Identity Transfers ATO Risk Check (Targeted) - Production

Fundraiser Saved Payment Method Rate Limit Bypass (Production)

leaderboard-partner-id-audience-givepanel

Version 9.2.1 and above

AUD Donation Upsell audience

fundraiserCountryCode is US/EN

Active Fundraiser - Smart Default Cadence

DAF Internal

Vault on success card payment method

Platform is iOS v11.0.0 and above

Desktop users

Person ids

United States (US) users

allow yuno fundraisers for test

Mexico country code

Posters INTL

NPO Profile Opted-In

iOS at or above 12.4.0

non-US recurring donors

Canada Campaign Owner Group

Fundraiser Without Meta Link

Scheduler payment tester gorup

charityCommunityId

Charities allow to be claimed unclaimed (PRD)

Canada (CA) users

currencyCode

UC Tipping v20250115 International

pymk_production_xplr_fe_team

Android at or above 12.2.0

Profile photo entry point audience

smart goals (fundraiser/manage) on test01

Activity Tracking v1 Beta Testing

writePath

Stream Notification

start gfm intl allowed locales

Platform is iOS v11.2.0 and above

unclaimed charities

prod_ach_audience

AI Chatbot Audience

amp13 only new funds (prod) (anyword auto)

UC Flow Enabled (Prod)

Payment Identity Beneficiary Verification - Production

shared notification bell audience

Custom users

ach frontend audience

Android v11.0.0 and above

Users Receiving Payments Paused Notifications

smart goals test01

Manage Coach - US English Organizers Only + new funds only

Team EGG - IP Address list

Fundraiser Without Instagram Deep Link

Native 11.4.0 and above

UC Tipping v20250107

Users Receiving Braze KYC Validation Failed

Native 11.3.0 and above

Influencer - Prod

US fundraisers and US users

ai_title_page

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openai

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fundIsLinkedWithMeta

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fundHasInstagramDeepLink

Native 11.4.0 and higher

New funds eligible - Video Sharing (PROD)

GB Donation Upsell audience 

Auto Thanks V3 Rollout Audience

Thank you V3 testing whitelist

isRecurringFriendly

Is Recurring Friendly

Excluded funds - Video Sharing

Logged In Users

CH Donation Upsell audience

Android v10.6.0 and above

userCurrencyCode

Localized Currency

v11.5.0 and above

testAudience

pathname

Survicate

appVersion is at or above 12.8.0

Non-charity fund

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challenge-fundraisers

Payment Identity Launch Verification - Production

New funds eligible - Posters v2

CAD Donation Upsell Audience

Braze Email Tester

NPO Profile Opted-Out

iOS App Version

hasKnownDonors

PYMK has donors

iOS v12.3.0 and above

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Assist Courtney's Path to Recovery

Just $600 to go!
Make an impact.